The Best of Times

Last night I saw a production of "La Cage aux Folles" at Richmond Triangle Players. Go see it before it closes in June. You will not be disappointed! But this is not going to be a post/review about this production. Not to say that I didn't have a great time, I did! I laughed and cried a little, and even got the chance to sing along, but obviously this production affected me on a different level. I spent most of last evening dreaming I was in "La Cage", not the production, the world. I don't remember any specifics just that my everyday life was being spent with Georges, Albin and the Cagelles, and it felt real, and right and natural! When I woke up this morning it got me to thinking. What a wonderful world to live in! The show begins with several chorus "girls" (really men in drag) singing these words, "We are what we are" filled with the witty little lines of the hes becoming shes. It's a fun little number and a great way to start the show, but the same fun little number, later in the show, turns into a grand statement of pride and affirmation when Albin as his stage persona, Zaza, sings his true feelings when he realizes that his true love Georges and the son they raised together, Jean Michel, want to hide him away because of "what he is" It's an emotional moment because up until that hurtful realization Georges' and Albin's world has been free from that reproach and judgement. They have raised a son together as man and wife, married, committed and creating an environment loving their son and each other. Obviously, my subconscious longs to be in that judgement free world. RTP (Richmond Triangle Players) creates that world in their little theater on Altamont Avenue for anyone who walks through their doors. The audience last night was dotted with couples, gay and straight, old and young, men and women. An older male couple sat in front of me and several times during the show they reached over and touched each other with affection. It was so sweet, and later in the lobby when the show was over and the cast was mingling with the patrons, straight and gay alike, it felt like home. No one was casting condemning glances or making belittling comments. In our little world inside that theater we were in the world of "La Cage," and I liked that world. So thank you, RTP and the cast of "La Cage" for creating that world for me for a few hours on a Friday night, and thank you for all you do to extend that world past your doors!

Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God?

If I read one more article, or see one more video with some idiot who uses the identifier as Christian claiming that tragedies, whether they be perpetrated by man or naturally happen, are a judgement from God, I may explode!!!!!!! At the very least I am going to start my own faith that does not have the word Christian in it because these buffoons have ruined the world's view of what I think a Christian is and should live like and treat others. What has spurred this outburst from me, you may be thinking? Well, it has been building for a while. I guess if I wanted to be honest, probably since 9-11, but recently with the Sandy Hook Shootings, the Boston Bombing and now, the Oklahoma Tornado, it seems the crazies have really come out of the woodwork in full force! I have a strong faith! I believe in God! Anyone who knows me or has followed this blog knows that, so if anybody reads this and wants to call me out as a heathen and condemn me to Hell, COME AT ME!!! I am so sick, of mainstream Christian leaders mouthing off answers to questions that people write in and ask or call in and ask about these tragedies and what part God played in them and why? If I were a lawyer and this was a courtroom, as soon as the dolt would begin to answer, I would shout, "Objection! Calls for speculation!" How dare you presume to know the mind of God! And while I'm at it, SHUT UP!!!!!! Every syllable you utter makes me, as a Christian, embarrassed that a group I belong to has  leaders who would make such stupid statements! You are the Taliban equivalent in Christianity. No, I am not saying you cause death and destruction or cause physical harm, but you are radical and extremist and when people believe the drivel you say as God's own words you are harming them spiritually and emotionally. Is the world in a crappy state? YES! Is evil running rampant? YES! Do I think that makes God unhappy? YES! Do I think that he caused all of the above mentioned tragedies to make us get our act together? NO!!! I believe in God, as a parent. I believe He loves me and cares for my well being. I believe that He sends me comfort when I need it, and that when I do something wrong, He is disappointed, but do I believe that if I step out of line that He will punish and kill thousands of people until I "repent?" NO! If I've got it wrong, then I guess I'll be the one who's surprised at the world's end, but for now I will believe that my God is a God of love and forgiveness. Isn't that why he sent his own son to die? If he was just going to kill all  of us when we ticked him off, doesn't that negate the whole "Jesus" thing? Don't know about you, but it's pretty hard to repent if you're dead. I know I might sound blasphemous to some, but I am enraged at the attack on my faith. I am saddened that my faith is being thought of as a group of idiots and hate mongers. Who do you think you're winning over? Isn't that our job as Christians to spread the GOOD news? Just letting you know that you're turning people off. You're driving people away from God and his love! So while you're yelling at people to repent, try getting on your knees yourself to explain to God, oh I forgot, you know what he's thinking, so I'll rephrase....Send him some telepathic thoughts of explanation as to why you're scaring the sheep away from His flock rather than bringing them into the fold with love and care.

Something I Almost Missed

When I was a teenager I never did the babysitting thing. If people I knew had new babies I never wanted to hold them. I didn't work in the nursery at church or help with the little kids Sunday school classes. I just didn't have any desire to be around children. I really thought I would never have kids. It just wasn't my thing. In fact before I was married I considered taking care of things permanently to never have children. I didn't take that step, thank God! I waited a while after I was married, almost 10 years, but I did finally actually want a child. I'm not sure if I've ever shared this before here, but I lost my first baby to a miscarriage, but luckily I did get pregnant again and about 40 weeks later I had a little girl, then 3 1/2 years after that another little girl. The teenager who didn't want any children was now a woman in her early 30's with 2. In 1992 and then again in 1996 I became a mother. Then, as life does sometimes, I was thrown a curve ball, and in 1998 I became a single mother. This thing that I started out never wanting to do at all I was now doing alone. Today is Mother's Day. A day set aside to honor those who gave us life, but this post is about honoring those who gave me a life worth living. Being a parent is hard work. Don't ever let anyone tell you anything different. It is the most important job in the world because, in essence, you hold the future in your hands. The  people you create and bring into this world will watch and learn from you. They'll pattern their behaviors after what they've seen you do. They'll treat people the way you raise them to, and they'll value and love themselves only if you treat them as valued and loved. You never stop being a parent. It is a tireless job 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, but I would not trade it for anything! I am not rich. I do not have a high paying corporate job. I do not have a beach house in Malibu. In fact I haven't taken a real vacation in almost 10 years. Some people would look at those statistics and pity how unsuccessful I am at 50, but they would be so wrong. I have something so much more than material success. I have raised two amazing daughters, daughters that I know will make their mark in the world! Hell, they already have by the way they treat people in their everyday lives and the impact they have had on everyone they come in contact with. They are my legacy. They are my success! I have poured everything I am into being the best Mom and Dad that I can be. Am I the perfect parent? No, I have made tons of mistakes along the way, but I try to admit them and move on. I could not ask for a better relationship with both of my girls. We talk. Nothing fancy or ground shaking here. We talk. I treat them like people, and have always been honest with them and valued their input and opinions on whatever level they could offer them. More times than I can count they were teaching me something rather than the other way around. And as they continue through life and maybe become mothers themselves one day I pray that they will have the same awesome experience they have given me. I will be forever grateful for the privilege and honor of being their Mom and thrilled that life didn't work out the way I had originally planned.

Johnny Mein

I am 1 of 4 grandchildren, 3 girls, 1 boy. We are like stair steps in age, and I am the baby. The step above me was my cousin John. We were only 6 months apart, and consequently, we were very close. He was the closest thing I had to a brother. He and his sister lived in a town called Seaford, VA just outside of Hampton, VA, so we didn't see each other every day, but we spent every holiday and at least a week in the summer when we were little at one of our houses. When we were elementary age, our visits were spent playing hide and seek, swimming in the pool at his house, making plastic bugs out of goop or sprinkling Nestle Quick on Vanilla Ice cream to create our own special treat. As we grew up to the middle school years and he would come to visit, We listened to the radio together waiting for our favorite songs so we could tape them on a cassette tape. At that time, John wanted to be a deejay, and he would take those cassette tapes and put in his own radio voice over. His radio persona was "Johnny Mein" (pronounced MINE) and I loved listening to those tapes. He had a great sense of humor, and we loved being crazy together. I'll never forget one summer we were listening to the radio, and in those days, the deejays would ask a trivia question for a prize. The question was, "Who played Jackie Robinson in the Jackie Robinson story?" John looked at me and said, "I'm gonna call and say, 'Jackie Robinson'" He meant it as a joke. To his shock the answer was right, and he won tickets to the movies. He loved sports and played just about all of them starting with the Pee Wee leagues right up into his high school days. Those days were when we grew the closest. Our favorite songs back then were "My Sharona" by The Knack, "Born to Run" by Bruce Springsteen (ironically I think John resembled Springsteen in his early days) and "Bad Case of Lovin' You" by Robert Palmer. We would belt them out in his navy blue '68 Mustang, and he would always yell, "1,2,3,4" just before we would both tear into "Doctor, Doctor, gimme the news..." He spent the week at the beach with my family more than once, and we were always partners for Password against my mom and dad. I don't remember whether we won or lost, but I do remember that we laughed...A LOT! He called me "Tree" My name is Terri and he was playing around one day, and pronounced it [tuh - ree] then said it quickly like that and it sounded like Tree. It stuck, and he called me that from then on. In the past several years we haven't really been in touch with each other. Life kind of got in the way. My sister called today to tell me that John died this morning from a heart attack. I was shocked.  He just turned 50 two weeks ago. I know he will be missed, especially by his 6 children. It made me think today how very precious time is, and we should never waste a day because we never know how many more we will have. Rest in Peace, cousin, and thanks for the memories!

Raise Your Hand

Something happened this week that may seem inconsequential to some. One Facebook status made their feelings very clear by stating they "didn't give a shit" And that's what Facebook is about sharing with the world how we feel. But this particular event, to me, was one of the best and most courageous things in a long time. I am speaking of Jason Collins, the NBA player who came out this week. Coming out is a brave step for anyone, but to come out in a profession that is pegged as a very heterosexual environment is paramount! How hard it must have been for him to deny himself with his teammates for all those years, to, as he put it, "act straight" I am straight, and I think it would be extremely difficult, if not impossible to live my life pretending to be gay, not because being gay is a bad thing, but because it goes against the nature of who I am. So what! He's gay! Big deal! It is a big deal to him, to his family, friends, teammates, and every kid who's on a basketball team right now who's afraid to tell anyone who he really is. But the real test is not in Jason's brave announcement, it will be in how we react to it. We are the ones who are tested right now! We are the ones who must support him and everyone like him. Former president Bill Clinton was quoted as saying, "It is ... the straightforward statement of a good man who wants no more than what so many of us seek: to be able to be who we are; to do our work; to build families and to contribute to our communities. For so many members of the LGBT community, these simple goals remain elusive. I hope that everyone, particularly Jason’s colleagues in the NBA, the media and his many fans extend to him their support and the respect he has earned." It seems so simple, doesn't it? Why can't people just be who they are? Why do we not allow that? Maybe it isn't a concern for most. How much of a concern would it be if you were being forced to deny yourself and live a life that was a lie? Jason said this. "I didn’t set out to be the first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport. But since I am, I’m happy to start the conversation. I wish I wasn’t the kid in the classroom raising his hand and saying, 'I’m different.' If I had my way, someone else would have already done this. Nobody has, which is why I’m raising my hand." So to me, Jason Collins, it is a big deal, and to millions of others! Thank you for raising your hand!