The Best of Times

Last night I saw a production of "La Cage aux Folles" at Richmond Triangle Players. Go see it before it closes in June. You will not be disappointed! But this is not going to be a post/review about this production. Not to say that I didn't have a great time, I did! I laughed and cried a little, and even got the chance to sing along, but obviously this production affected me on a different level. I spent most of last evening dreaming I was in "La Cage", not the production, the world. I don't remember any specifics just that my everyday life was being spent with Georges, Albin and the Cagelles, and it felt real, and right and natural! When I woke up this morning it got me to thinking. What a wonderful world to live in! The show begins with several chorus "girls" (really men in drag) singing these words, "We are what we are" filled with the witty little lines of the hes becoming shes. It's a fun little number and a great way to start the show, but the same fun little number, later in the show, turns into a grand statement of pride and affirmation when Albin as his stage persona, Zaza, sings his true feelings when he realizes that his true love Georges and the son they raised together, Jean Michel, want to hide him away because of "what he is" It's an emotional moment because up until that hurtful realization Georges' and Albin's world has been free from that reproach and judgement. They have raised a son together as man and wife, married, committed and creating an environment loving their son and each other. Obviously, my subconscious longs to be in that judgement free world. RTP (Richmond Triangle Players) creates that world in their little theater on Altamont Avenue for anyone who walks through their doors. The audience last night was dotted with couples, gay and straight, old and young, men and women. An older male couple sat in front of me and several times during the show they reached over and touched each other with affection. It was so sweet, and later in the lobby when the show was over and the cast was mingling with the patrons, straight and gay alike, it felt like home. No one was casting condemning glances or making belittling comments. In our little world inside that theater we were in the world of "La Cage," and I liked that world. So thank you, RTP and the cast of "La Cage" for creating that world for me for a few hours on a Friday night, and thank you for all you do to extend that world past your doors!

Raise Your Hand

Something happened this week that may seem inconsequential to some. One Facebook status made their feelings very clear by stating they "didn't give a shit" And that's what Facebook is about sharing with the world how we feel. But this particular event, to me, was one of the best and most courageous things in a long time. I am speaking of Jason Collins, the NBA player who came out this week. Coming out is a brave step for anyone, but to come out in a profession that is pegged as a very heterosexual environment is paramount! How hard it must have been for him to deny himself with his teammates for all those years, to, as he put it, "act straight" I am straight, and I think it would be extremely difficult, if not impossible to live my life pretending to be gay, not because being gay is a bad thing, but because it goes against the nature of who I am. So what! He's gay! Big deal! It is a big deal to him, to his family, friends, teammates, and every kid who's on a basketball team right now who's afraid to tell anyone who he really is. But the real test is not in Jason's brave announcement, it will be in how we react to it. We are the ones who are tested right now! We are the ones who must support him and everyone like him. Former president Bill Clinton was quoted as saying, "It is ... the straightforward statement of a good man who wants no more than what so many of us seek: to be able to be who we are; to do our work; to build families and to contribute to our communities. For so many members of the LGBT community, these simple goals remain elusive. I hope that everyone, particularly Jason’s colleagues in the NBA, the media and his many fans extend to him their support and the respect he has earned." It seems so simple, doesn't it? Why can't people just be who they are? Why do we not allow that? Maybe it isn't a concern for most. How much of a concern would it be if you were being forced to deny yourself and live a life that was a lie? Jason said this. "I didn’t set out to be the first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport. But since I am, I’m happy to start the conversation. I wish I wasn’t the kid in the classroom raising his hand and saying, 'I’m different.' If I had my way, someone else would have already done this. Nobody has, which is why I’m raising my hand." So to me, Jason Collins, it is a big deal, and to millions of others! Thank you for raising your hand!

Hope for the Future!

When I was in high school, back in the early 80's, I had a dear friend who was gay. Looking back now, I had a lot of friends who were gay, but they were not "out" In fact, a lot of them were pretending to be straight because admitting those feelings to anyone, even yourself was taboo.There was a stigma attached to it that something was wrong with you. People used words like "fairy" and "faggot" in every day conversation without thinking anything of it. In spite of all of this my friend decided in 1982 that he would not deny who he was and was very open about his homosexuality. The phrase "coming out" didn't really exist back then, or if it did, I hadn't heard it used, but my friend was "Out" I often worried about him because threats were made by ignorant people who somehow were threatened by my sweet friend's refusal to deny himself. I loved my friend and was concerned for him, but I never made a public stance in support of his choices. Back then homosexuality and being gay was not openly discussed as it is now. If there were any characters on television who were gay, they were usually the "comic relief", that funny effeminate neighbor. There were certainly no serious characters, and depicting a homosexual relationship was unheard of! I remember the HUGE controversy that surrounded Dynasty in 1981 when Steven Carrington was the first gay character on a series drama. I admired my friend's courage, but I didn't speak out.
Why did I tell you that story? I am overwhelmed and deeply touched by the bold and courageous statements being made in the very public forum of Facebook by my young high school friends who are "coming out" as allies in support of equality for ALL! Bravo! It takes courage and conviction to stand up for what you believe in, especially in the face of opposition on this very sensitive issue! For all the reporting of  drug use and violence and bullying in our schools that make me doubt the future of our country, these young men and women make me proud and give me HOPE!

One Small Voice

Back in the summer there was a huge hoopla surrounding Chick-Fil-A. I, as I often do, expressed my opinion in a post. The Internet, news media, social media, and print media were filled with those same opinions ranging from Chick-Fil-A was out to get the gay and lesbian population to God himself invented the chicken sandwich. My issue wasn't with the comments that were made, albeit I did not agree. My issue was with the fact that I chose not to spend my money knowing it would trickle down to an anti-gay organization. Many people felt the same as I and decided to no longer patronize Chick-Fil-A. This is not a post to rehash how I feel about Chick-Fil-A. It is a post about how speaking up can make a difference. I know that in my younger days I never really got involved with politics. My attitude was mostly apathetic. What difference can I make? I'm only one person. In the past few years things have changed for me. Maybe it's because everything, every news item, every event is in front of our eyes in seconds. So when the uproar of outrage crashed over this country like a wave in response to Chick-Fil-A, people made their feelings known. Last week, a good friend of mine sent me an article to read. Chick-Fil-A, I am assuming because of public outcry, was pulling their funding from Anti-gay organizations. Yay, Chick-Fil-A! Thank you for listening. Thank you for doing something that I am sure you will take heat on as well, but I feel like it was the right thing. This is a big year for using your one small voice to speak up no matter what side of an issue you're on, folks. Not to sound corny, but we can make a difference, but not by doing nothing or remaining quiet. "Be the change you want to see in the world." ~ Mahatma Ghandi

Eating less Chikin

So, I know this one is going to get me in hot water, but here goes. Yesterday, August 1st, was "Support Chick-Fil-A Day" This was decreed by Mike Huckabee in response to the call to boycott the restaurant chain after Dan Cathy, president and COO, made some statements in a radio interview about "traditional" marriage. People swarmed to the restaurant yesterday in droves to show their support. Well, this girl wasn't in the Drive-thru line yesterday, and let me tell you why. First of all, I'm going on record right now as saying, I love God! I love Jesus! I believe as a member of the group called Christians, that God and Jesus love me, and that Jesus is the Son of God, and he was crucified and died on the cross to save me from my sins, so put away your pitchforks and torches. I hesitated typing the word "Christian" because those zealots from Westboro Baptist Church also call themselves "Christian," and I am definitely not in the same group as them! Many of my friends were at Chick-Fil-A yesterday, and that was their choice and their right to spend their money the way they see fit. I do not condemn them for attending, I'm sure, what they thought was a stand for Christianity. I'm not sure how much money was made yesterday, but apparently a world record was set. That's what I want to talk about, the money! I have heard for well over a year that Chick-Fil-A had ties to groups who are anti-gay. I still went to Chick-Fil-A. The franchises are individually owned, and I didn't think it was fair to punish the "Mom and Pops" who own the individual restaurants because of a stance the Corporation has. In much the same way, I felt for the owners of the independent gas stations who sold Exxon gas when people were boycotting them because of the oil spill. Their livelihoods and the financial support of their families was being threatened because of something they had no control over. I still visited Chick-Fil-A once a week, at least, sometimes more, even when a lot of my friends were saying I shouldn't be giving them my business. Chick-Fil-A has great food! It's always fresh, and the customer service is unmatched! You have no argument from me on that point. I continued to be a loyal patron! Then, about two weeks ago, Dan Cathy gave an interview to the Baptist Press where he addressed the Biblical principles the company is based on. I read the interview. There is nothing in it that actually says that Chick-Fil-A is anti-gay. Here is the part of the interview that addresses the issue of marriage:
              Some have opposed the company's support of the traditional family. "Well, guilty as charged," said Cathy when asked about the company's position.

"We are very much supportive of the family -- the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that.

"We operate as a family business ... our restaurants are typically led by families; some are single. We want to do anything we possibly can to strengthen families. We are very much committed to that," Cathy emphasized.

"We intend to stay the course," he said. "We know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles."The above statement brought down a firestorm of comments, videos, and campaigns from the LGBT community and it's supporters to boycott the chain. I have decided not to spend my money at Chick-Fil-A anymore, but not because a group told me not to. All the press made me do my own research, look up what was really said and mostly where my money was going. I will not address every group that I looked up, but this one statement from one group that received money from Chick-Fil-A, my money, I am sad to say, was enough to make me say, okay, I just don't want to spend my money there if this group is being supported. The group is called The Family Research Council. This is their statement on homosexuality:
                 Family Research Council believes that homosexual conduct is harmful to the persons who engage in it and to society at large, and can never be affirmed.  It is by definition unnatural, and as such is associated with negative physical and psychological health effects.  While the origins of same-sex attractions may be complex, there is no convincing evidence that a homosexual identity is ever something genetic or inborn. We oppose the vigorous efforts of homosexual activists to demand that homosexuality be accepted as equivalent to heterosexuality in law, in the media, and in schools. Attempts to join two men or two women in "marriage" constitute a radical redefinition and falsification of the institution, and FRC supports state and federal constitutional amendments to prevent such redefinition by courts or legislatures.   Sympathy must be extended to those who struggle with unwanted same-sex attractions, and every effort should be made to assist such persons to overcome those attractions, as many already have. 

I'm no scholar, but I'm pretty sure that's blatant discrimination! So, just on the chance that my money went to this group alone, forget all the others, I decided to stop spending my money there. Now to address the issue that I know is going to open a flood gate, Yes, I'm a hypocrite. There's a picture circulating of Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka appearing that he is making this statement:

Have I stopped spending my money with Chick-Fil-A? Yes. Have I stopped putting gas in my car? No. Why the difference? If I'm going to make a stand for one, I should make a stand for all, right? Well, in theory, yes, I should. But we all know that it would be near impossible for me to make a living without a car, and without gas my car would not run. I guess I feel that I could not live without gasoline, as disturbing as being dependent on OPEC is, and I can live without waffle fries and a chicken sandwich. This is one place I can exercise my right and control where a little bit of the money I spend, and I stress the term "little bit", goes and is used. If that makes me a hypocrite then "guilty as charged"

I know Chick-Fil-A does a huge amount of good. They give millions of dollars to scholarships, and foster care and international ministry. Yay for them! I'm all for them giving money to "strengthen the family" Pass some over to this single mom who struggles everyday to keep her family fed and clothed because her "traditional" marriage fell apart. Shockingly gay couples wanting to be recognized legally in committing to a lifetime of love and devotion and caring for each other as married had nothing to do with it. You're right, Dan Cathy, marriage is in trouble in this country, but my homosexual friends who want to be together and have the same rights as my heterosexual friends under the law have nothing to do with it. Bottom line is I don't hate Chick-Fil-A. I don't hate anyone who went to Chick-Fil-A yesterday. I'm not even telling you that you can't spend your money there. I'm just explaining to you why I'm not.

"In time we hate that which we often fear" ~ William Shakespeare

I remember as a child talking in my earliest classes about how boring life would be if we were all the same, that being different is what made the world an interesting place to be. For some reason that always brought an image to mind of this huge cookie cutter that cut as all from the same dough in the exact same shape. I can remember thinking, "How Boring!" I took away from that lesson that it's okay to be different, even preferred. My childhood classes would have taken place in the early 1970's, and at that time, I didn't even know what "being gay" meant except being "happy and gay" I'm not sure all of the people who were teaching me those lessons knew what "being gay" meant. It was certainly never discussed in my household. However, I chose to be involved in the theatre at the age of 10, and many people that I came in contact with were "gay" although I had no concept of that. They didn't hurt me. They didn't corrupt my mind with their "evil" ways. We were just in a show together and talked and laughed and played. Fast forward to my high school days. By this time, I knew what "gay" meant. It still didn't bother me. That was back in 1982. No one was really "out" at that time. I remember one of my dear friends who was a senior decided to be "out" It was a bold and courageous move on his part. I spent a great deal of time worrying about him, not because of what he was, but because of the way others might react. He made it out of high school unscathed, physically at least, but things could have been so much worse. Why? Because, unfortunately, there also exists something called "hate." I remember at the time that he was physically threatened by some players on the football team. They were going to beat him up because he was "different" Wait, what happened to that cookie cutter philosophy? Wasn't it good to be different? Not in those football players minds, but why so much animosity to the point of threatened violence? One word, FEAR! It amazes me that they were afraid of my gentle, sweet friend, but that fear of his difference is what drove their hate of him.
13 years ago on this very day, that same type of fear led two men to brutally torture a 22 year old gay man and leave him to die in the cold and biting wind of a remote area in Laramie, Wyoming. Matthew Shepard suffered a fate that night that I wouldn't wish on a wild animal, let alone a fellow human being. There was no motivation for their actions but hate. They weren't crazy or maniacal. They knew exactly what they were doing, and that, my friends, is the true horror of it all. Why can't we go back to that preschool and early childhood mentality? We can't all be, think, live the same. That makes life boring. Just because someone is different than you doesn't mean there difference will rub off on you. Difference is not a disease, but HATE is. Hate, when nurtured, spreads like wildfire. I don't know about you, but I'm ready for an end to this epidemic! Somebody posted the quote from Eminem on Facebook today in the picture above. It really is that simple.