And So, Here I Am Again.

I am relatively sure that if a survey were taken of several hundred people asking them to list 10 things they feel uncomfortable or embarrassed doing, I would bet that asking for help would appear somewhere on that list. No one wants to ask for help. It starts when we are little and learning to walk. We want to do it ourselves. Then in grade school we don't raise our hand to ask a question or say that we don't understand the material for fear of being judged or thought of as stupid. As we become adults we find it hard to ask for help when we are struggling because society has taught us that we must learn to stand on our own 2 feet. Asking for any kind of help is hard, but when money is the issue, it becomes unbearable! 

Almost exactly a year ago I found myself in a situation I never thought I would be in. I had been diagnosed with a brain tumor, technically a pituitary tumor, but it was in the middle of my brain, so brain surgery was required. I had lost ALL of my peripheral vision because the tumor was pressing on my optic nerves. I had no idea how I was going to afford the astronomical medical costs and loss of wages that having this surgery would cause. And before you ask, yes I do have insurance, but 30% of a $229,000 hospital bill, even when it is cut down to the "reasonable and customary" charge was something this single mom could not even fathom of how to come up with the money to pay. I am not an extravagant person. I never really have been, but when I became the single mother of 2 girls ages 2 and 5, frugal became my middle name. I have no savings as eating was more important to us. We rarely take vacations because we can't afford them. I am not saying all this to solicit a pat on the back. I want to share that I am not a frivolous person when it comes to money. See, there's that fear of being judged rearing it's ugly head. Last year my youngest daughter started a GoFundMe page to help with my medical expenses and to help with my loss of wages while I was recovering. I was humbled to say the least. Friends and strangers came to my aid. I was so grateful. Never in a million years would I have thought last year that I would be going through all this again, but I am. The Reader's Digest version is that there was some of the tumor left. When the neurosurgeon describes the tumor as "huge" you know it must have been a bear. I knew that eventually I might have to have that removed if it grew, but about a month ago I was devastated to learn that I had now developed a cyst in the same area, and it is already affecting my vision. This has changed everything. I was planning to wait so I could save up vacation and sick time to avoid loss of wages. Maybe I could save a little money or get a part time job to bank some to help with expenses, but now I am right back in the same boat and can't do either of those things because of the quick pace at which we have to move to get the tumor and cyst out. My surgery is scheduled for November 2nd. Added to that they are doing the procedure this time with an "inter-operative MRI" to make sure ALL of the tumor is gone before I come out of the operating room. I found out today that because of that I will need an additional MRI before I go into surgery to make sure that process runs smoothly. I am still trying to find the money to pay for the MRI done last summer that revealed the cyst. Just to give you an idea, each MRI costs me $750.00. The hospital bill will cost into the thousands, and because of recovery time, I may lose anywhere from $500.00 to $1000.00 in wages, not to mention that last year my "disability" income did not even get approved until well after I had returned to work. As we all know, bills don't wait. they are due when they are due. I'm not going to go on and on, and I am not trying to make this sound like a sob story. The long and short of it is that I am asking for help again. I wish I didn't have to, and if I win Publisher's Clearing House, I will make sure to let everyone know and give any GoFundMe money to charity, but until that happens, I will need money to hopefully get this thing in my brain to leave and STAY GONE this time. 

I know so many of you that read this blog helped me last time, and I will never be able to tell you how grateful I was and still am. Let me say thank you in advance to anyone who chooses to help now, and my greatest wish is that some day I will be in the financial position to pay it forward 1000 times over. The link to the page is above, but I will post it here again. Thank you. I love you all!

https://www.gofundme.com/b26dhnqu# 

I Get By With a Little Help from My Friends

A little over a month ago I found out I had a tumor on my pituitary gland, and I had to have brain surgery to remove it. All kinds of things went through my mind when I was given this news, but one of the things that stressed me out the most was how much was this going to cost, not just medically but how much income would I lose? Today I got a partial answer to that question. First a little background: I am still at home and will be until 11/30/15. If you're doing the math, that's over a month away from work. Not to bore you with too many facts, but this length of time requires me to go on Short Term Disability (STD) Most STD plans work in similar ways. You must go through a waiting period before it can even start. Even when mine starts I will only be paid 2/3 of my salary. My waiting period is 14 days. Even using all of my vacation and sick time, I do not have enough to even cover the waiting period in order to be paid for all the time off. Add to that what I found out Monday. CIGNA has not yet approved my STD claim. Translation: I'm not getting paid for anything but the 42 some odd hours of time that I had. Today when I got paid my pay was $500.00 short. I don't know many people who could handle being shorted $500.00 in their pay. I certainly can't. Now, not to worry yet, once they decide that brain surgery is valid to be off from work, the pay will be retroactive, but bills are due when bills are due. When all of this overwhelming news came through to my little family of 3, my sweet girl, Georgi, started a GoFundme page, and my other sweet girl spread the word. We were all blown away as we watched the $20,000 goal grow so quickly to $10,000. Friends and family sent us money in the mail. All out of the goodness of their hearts and with love. That's what it's about....LOVE! I felt like some people may have been judgemental about asking for help. Why? A very good friend of mine said it best, "You only have to ask family once." I am not kidding when I say this. We could not have survived without that money, pure and simple. So, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!! I wanted to use the Beatle lyric as a title, but it wasn't a little help, it was a LOT! I have no idea what will happen in the next weeks. I am relatively sure that my claim will be approved, but nothing is certain. I am surviving because of all of you! I am overwhelmed! I love you all!

Thank You is Not Enough!

If you read this blog, you know by now that I have a tumor sitting in the middle of my brain. All kinds of things run through your mind when someone tells you that you have a tumor. Of course, the first thought that springs to mind is Cancer. That is not what I am dealing with, and I am very relieved. However, it doesn’t mean that what I am dealing with is nothing either. When you go through something like this, you need someone to lean on, a rock. I have had that rock in my youngest daughter. She is only 19, but she has been there from the first diagnosis until now, and every step of the way she has provided me with just what I needed. Friday, she did something that touched me deeply. It is no secret to my friends or readers that I have struggled financially since I became a single mother in 1998. I truthfully had to start my life over from scratch. Just saying, that ain’t easy my friends. Imagine what I felt at the prospect of paying thousands to make sure that I would be able to have this tumor removed to regain my sight at the least and keep my life at the most. Once again, my rock, my champion, my hero swept in to save the day. This is what I read online Friday. 

Medical Funds for Mom's Brain Tumor

69

RICHMOND, VA MEDICAL

$6,870 of $20k

Raised by 69 people in 2 days

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277

TOTAL
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Created October 23, 2015

Georgi Hicks

Hey everyone! My name is Georgi and I made this gofundme because, I need help. My mother just recently found out she has a brain tumor (pituitary gland tumor to be exact). We found out it is not cancerous but also found out that it is a lot bigger than we expected. When we discovered how large it was the doctor said every day she waits to get the surgery is another day she risks going blind. So, her surgery is scheduled for October 27th, this coming Tuesday. My mother is the stronest person I know. She has been through so much and has never put herself before anyone else. Even when she found out about this tumor, she pushed it back to finish the show she is currently in, because she didn't want people to lose income by having to end the run early.  I admire her strength, her confidence, her independence, her will, but most of all, her courage. She has always had to worry about money, ever since she became a single parent, started with nothing and had to raise two girls that were only two and five at the time. Even though we've always had money problems, she made it so that I never wanted for anything, and worked hard to make sure I could stay a child for as long as I could. Ever since the day my father left, she has not done one thing for herself. My mother is a hero, not my hero in particular, but A hero in general. And for once, this hero should be able to take off the cape and just worry about herself. This brain tumor is a big deal and she is being so positive about the whole thing, so I don't want her worrying about money, just this once, I want that worry to be absent from her mind. The money needed for the surgery, the three or four days in the ICU and the three weeks she'll be out of work is an overwhelming amount to us, and is money we don't have now, and won't have anytime soon. So, all of this to say, we need your help. Any donation helps! I am posting this because it is hard for her to see that she is so worthy of help and support, but i know she is, help me let her know how much she is. Thank you so much for taking the time to read all of this! So much love to all of you! Thank you

At the writing of this, the campaign has raised over $6000. To say I am humbled is an understatement. I am touched beyond belief at the love and support of my friends, family and strangers. Love is an amazing thing!