Tonight I did something that I haven't done for quite some time. I sat down and watched The Wizard of Oz. If you have read this blog, you know everything I am about to say, but bear with me for the newcomers. I adore the movie The Wizard of Oz. Because I am 60 years old, almost 61, I grew up with just 3 major networks on TV and Public Broadcasting. Every year, The Wizard of Oz, was broadcast on television. I never missed a year for as long as I can remember. When movies were released on video, I was glad to have a copy so I could watch it whenever I wanted, but I have to say that took a little bit out of the specialness away for me. SO many times, just like anything else, when something is always there, we take it for granted. When my children were old enough, I introduced it to them, and they watched it over and over as most children do. Ask any present day parent with a young one today how many times they've had to listen to Let it Go, but I digress. I never minded how many times they watched it because it never got old for me and never does. The Wizard of Oz celebrates 85 years since it's release this year. It was released the year my mother was born, 1939. My children are grown now, and I don't have any grandchildren yet, so I can't tell you the last time I sat down to watch it, but tonight I did, and I was strangely emotional about the whole thing. I was by myself, and as the first strains of the overture started, and the title appeared on the screen in sepia tone, I felt that "just on the brink of tears" feeling. No, the overture isn't sad, and, truthfully I don't know why I was reacting the way I was, but I sat and watched. No surprises, I could recite the screenplay by heart and say every line with every actor, and, have done so, at times, to the annoyance of my youngest daughter as her older sister and I have acted out the film before, but tonight I wasn't just watching the film as I've done one hundred times before. I was watching it like I had never seen it before. I got past the rote recitation and really listened to the dialogue and watched the reactions of the actors. The beautiful 16 year old Judy Garland, so young before Hollywood chewed her up and spit her out. The irony of what Dorothy longs for would also become what Judy longed for most of her life, "some place where there isn't any trouble." I started crying as she started singing Over the Rainbow, and I didn't stop until Toto jumped through the window of her bedroom after escaping the evil Miss Gulch. The longing that you hear in Judy's voice is heartbreaking. It made me wonder why I could not also fly with the happy little bluebirds. I also cried when Dorothy tells the Tin Man and the Scarecrow that they are the "best friends anybody ever had." I cried when they are told they can't see the Wizard and to go away, and she tells all her new found friends how bad she feels that her Aunt Em is sick and may be dying, and it's all her fault. I cried when at the thought of the witch drowning her dog, she freely steps up to take the consequences of giving up the ruby slippers, something Glinda has warned that she will be at the mercy of the wicked witch if she does, and she exclaims through sobs of fear, "He got away. He got away." I cried as I watched her, all alone in the witch's castle waiting for her doomed fate, calling out to her Auntie Em that she is frightened. I cried at the gut wrenching disappointment in her eyes as she says to the Wizard, "I don't think there's anything in that black bag for me." And finally when she says her goodbyes to the Tin Man , Lion and Scarecrow, and especially when she whispers to the Scarecrow, "I think I'll miss you most of all," well I have always cried at that point. The point being, I was more emotional watching this film tonight, that I have seen hundreds of times, than I ever have been watching it before. Why? I am still emotional as I type this. Of course, Dorothy's dream of Oz, the place "over the rainbow," isn't trouble free at all, but in her dream she faces her problem instead of running away from it. She doesn't go in her bedroom and cry and wonder what to do. She goes to face a witch that she knows will harm her because she wants to get back to the place that she wanted to leave so badly just "days" before. There are all kinds of cliche phrases that fit this scenario, "Be careful what you wish for," "The grass is always greener," "Out of the frying pan and into the fire." We've all heard these before, and I guess the true lesson is that no place is perfect, and if we spend our lives chasing that perfection or wishing away our life waiting for something better to come along or that we were somewhere there wasn't any trouble, newsflash: that doesn't exist, we will find, as Dorothy did, that home is always where her happiness was. Home was where the people were that loved her, and life would always have problems, but there would be friends to help her solve them and get through. It's not a coincidence that the Scarecrow, Lion and Tin Man are the images of her friends at home. I kept thinking of the phrase, "Some place where there isn't any trouble." This film was released on August 25, 1939. On September 1, 1939, Hitler invaded Poland. I am sure that audiences needed to hear that message then. The world was full of trouble, just like it is today, and just like it always will be, and sometimes it will be far away, and sometimes we will be right in the middle of it, and maybe that's why I was so emotional. Tonight when I sat down to watch I felt like Dorothy does at the beginning. The world seems so troubled right now. I have friends and family who are facing hardships, and health issues, and grieving. This sounds so trivial, but I have 2 cats at home that I love that have all of a sudden become aggressive with each other when they were loving to each other before, and I am at a loss as how to fix it, and I had just broken them up, once again, when I sat down to watch this film. That seems so small, but I really think it was a metaphor of all the things I cannot fix right now that I have no control over, and I just wanted to go to that place "where there isn't any trouble." Dorothy actually says to Toto, "do you suppose their is such a place, Toto?" We know that there isn't, and the place that's supposed to have no trouble has more challenges than anything Dorothy has faced before, but through that she finds Wisdom - the Scarecrow, and Compassion - the Tin Man and Courage - the Lion. She is also told that she always had the power to solve her problem, but she had to learn that for herself. I have seen sketches that make light of that moment in the film where Dorothy is royally pissed at Glinda that she didn't tell her that to begin with, and thinking about that it is funny, and it does make you wonder, but I heard something today as I was listening to The Light We Carry by Michelle Obama. "If you try to keep your children from feeling fear, you're essentially keeping them from feeling competence, too." If we never fall, we don't learn how to get back up. If we never experience pain, we don't really grasp what joy is like, and if we live in a place where there isn't any trouble, we miss the opportunity to gain Wisdom and Compassion and Courage, and maybe that's why I was crying because I can't fix everything, but that's not the way it is supposed to be. The importance is finding the power within to face the challenges that come, and when you can't fix them have the wisdom to recognize it, the compassion to deal with all those around you as you face it, and the courage to stand and face the storm.
