Somewhere Safe to Fall

 

The last post I put out was fairly bleak. I am not a bleak person, very rarely anyway. After I posted and shared to Facebook, I got no response from my friends. I thought that odd, but it's happened before. I am sure I said something that upset the FB gods, and none of my friends saw it. I decided with everything that is going on right now, I needed to get off of social media. I have a very bad habit of letting that vortex of negative news suck me in, and it was really messing with me. I put out a quick status that said I would be leaving for a while. That status set off an outpouring of love and support. Yes, I logged on promising myself I would do nothing but read notifications from friends. It made me feel so much better. I'm still not back on Social Media, but I felt the collective virtual hug, and it made me think.

 Almost 2 years ago I moved further away from my office. I have about a 25 minute drive everyday. Well, I did before COVID. Now I work from home. At the same time, I was also going to the theater almost every night for rehearsals or performances, and I started to listen to books on tape. I've heard a lot of good ones, and as a little plug, it took me a long time before I would listen to a book on tape, but now, I love them, so give them a try. I listen while I am working at home, but then I was mostly listening on my commutes. Last summer I listened to Big Little Lies, by Liane Moriarty. I listened before I watched the series. I liked the way she wrote, and so I look out for her titles as they become available at the library. I just recently finished Truly, Madly, Guilty, by her. There is a quote in the book that really struck me, and I think it really applies to my current situation, everyone's really. "You can jump so much higher when you have somewhere safe to fall." I have jumped really high in my life. I have gone after almost everything I wanted to do, and most of the time I have been able to achieve my goals, but that isn't all on me. All through my life I have had somewhere safe to fall. I never felt like I would be ridiculed or gotten an "I told you so" if I failed. That somewhere safe was my family, my kids, and my friends. I kept jumping because they were there, that safety net. All of my friends and family were my virtual safety net the other day. I had the courage to jump into that honesty and say what I felt because they were my somewhere safe to fall. It gave me hope, and that's exactly what I needed. Thank you for letting me fall safely. Always know that I am here to be your net as well. Stay safe, and have hope!

Happy "Like A Father's" Day

Two days ago America celebrated Father's Day, the day children give their dad  homemade cards and ties, and Mom gets him what he really wants, power tools and barbecue grills. My kids don't really do much on Father's Day. Their dad was not a daily presence in their life growing up as he left when they were 2 and 5. This post is about honoring people who have been their "Dads" as they've grown and through different stages of their life. Back in 1998 when we found ourselves a family of 3 instead of 4, we had no choice but to move in with my parents. Luckily they had a large enough home to accommodate us with out too much adjustment. I had planned when I had children to be a stay-at-home Mom, but, now, finding myself single, I had to get a job. I was adamant about not putting my 2 year old in Daycare. For one reason, I could not afford it, but I wanted them to be with me, and if not, the person needed to be a close friend or family member. My dad stepped up to the plate. He took on fatherhood a third time to give my girls a "Daddy" on a daily basis! They both had a wonderful relationship with him, and I know he adored them both. He picked them up from school and preschool, and he was there in the afternoon sitting on the porch when they got off the bus until COPD did not allow him to sit outside. He died in 2007 when they were 11 and 14, and I know it was as if they had lost their own father not just their grandfather. I am so grateful they were able to get to know him and spend precious time with him. Happy Father's Day Papa!
Both of my girls went to a very small elementary school in Henrico County called Pemberton. John Harding was the principal there for most of Leah's years and all of Georgi's. He was a wonderful mentor to my girls, and he was hugely supportive of their performing talents. He was a constant source of encouragement for them all through their grade school years. I am sure that his confidence in them at such early stages of singing and acting helped shape their love of the Arts all through their secondary school and now college careers. Happy Father's Day, Mr. Harding!
In 2004, we joined Derbyshire Baptist Church. I had been invited by a co-worker to her church because she knew I loved to sing, and her church had a wonderful music program. My girls and I were looking for a church. We visited one Sunday. I was very impressed with everything but especially the music. After the service, the minister of music, David Schwoebel, sought me out to speak to me. He was more than friendly and welcoming, but he did something I had never seen before, and that one thing made me decide right then and there that this was the church I was going to make my church. We had visited other churches, and quite frankly, some jumped on us, and by us, I mean me,  like we were porterhouse steaks that had been thrown into a lion's den, vying for that next family to grow their numbers. Not only did David Schwoebel make me feel like a person and not a number, he made a point to speak to both of my girls standing beside me, who were 9 and 12 at the time. He obviously thought they were important too. He asked them questions treating them, as anyone should, like they were part of the decision making process. He has supported them through all of their years at Derbyshire as they have sung in his children's, IMAGE Youth and Jubilate College choirs. He has attended their school plays and offered countless assistance with projects for school, or practice for an audition, or playing parts for Honors Choir or Quartet practice, all out of the goodness of his heart in his spare time, which for David Schwoebel, is a rare commodity. My oldest has said more than once that when it came time for her to get married, she could see Mr. Schwoebel walking her down the aisle. He has been a great resource for our family, but more than that he has been a great friend! Happy Father's Day, Mr. Schwoebel!
These three men all had their own families, but they took the time to be an important influence in my girls' lives. They and I are richer because we have known them, and they deserve to be celebrated!

Age is Just a Number, Right?

Today is Halloween, but it is also something else for me, and this year, it is a milestone! I was born on October, 31, 1963, at 1:20 in the afternoon. My mother swears that the reason she went into labor is because she had spent the entire previous day walking the sidewalks of Willow Lawn Shopping Center searching for just the right shoes to go with my older sister's Halloween costume. It was later discovered that my sister just wanted to ride the little mini coin operated Merry-Go-Rounds in front of the shoe stores, but I digress. I guess I have my sister to thank for the fact that I am born on Halloween, which I have to say is a pretty cool birthday to have! All of my birthday parties growing up were costume parties, and that turns out to be a pretty neat thing when your passion in life is acting and theatre! Everybody celebrates your day, and you get FREE candy. As a kid, what can be better than that? But this post isn't about Halloween or costumes or candy. Today this post is about turning 50! That's right, folks, I have lived half a century! Wow, when you put it that way, it sounds really ominous! But I am in pretty good company of people who have also turned the 40's corner this year, Brad Pitt, Lisa Kudrow, Mike Meyers, Benjamin Bratt, Vanessa Williams, Helen Hunt, John Stamos, Gail O'Grady, Eric McCormack, Michael Jordan and Kathy Ireland to name just a few celebrities. I've never really been obsessed with age. That could have something to do with my genes. My grandmother never looked her age, and nor does my mother at age 74. My grandmother also lived to be 96, so I'm certainly not at death's door at 50. I won't lie, this is a BIG one for me, not because I feel old, or, I'll say it, I don't think I act or look old, it's because of the perception of 50 and above. I am now, officially a Senior Citizen, and that's a whole different group than people in their Forties. I probably wouldn't be focusing on that as much if I were not single. I feel like it will become more difficult to find a companion now. I mentioned this scenario to my sister, and, ever the optimist, she said that maybe it would now become easier! So...let's go with that. This is also not a post about finding a man, but if you have any extras laying around, throw them my way! <Cue rim shot!> Thank you, ladies and germs, I'll be here all week! Tip your waiters and waitresses! 
50 Years! What have I done in 50 years? Well, pretty darn much! I've been a professional actor, defining that as being paid to act upon the stage, since I was 10 years old, and have been pretty lucky to have worked pretty consistently all of my adult life! That's not too shabby when you live and breathe on the stage! I had the incredible opportunity to co-star in an independent feature film, and win an award for my performance. I have been nominated for my work on the stage, and I have won awards in drama and speech. All of this has happened pretty much without ever leaving "my own backyard" so to speak. Pretty lucky, if you ask me. But before this starts to sound like a brag sheet, let me focus on the intangible, the things that mean the most to me, good and bad. I have experienced the deepest love imaginable, and felt profound loss. I have laughed until I cried, and cried until I felt I couldn't cry anymore. I have been thrown into a fire of despair but forged that much stronger because of it. I have two amazing daughters, and, yes, I know every parent says that, but in this case, it's true. They truly are my best friends, and I am lucky enough that they consider me the same, a rare, rare thing these days. I had two parents who believed in my dreams even when I didn't, and always encouraged me to go after them, and even though our childhood relationship wasn't the best for lots of reasons, I have a sister who loves me and my kids, and is there when I need her always. Don't even get me started on how blessed I am in the friend department! Would I like to have more money? Sure! Would I like to be able to give my girls all the things they NEED, not want? Absolutely! But all things considered, these 50 years have been a wonderful ride, and I can't wait to see what the next 50 bring!