Forgive and Forget?

So, it's been quite a while since I penned anything for this blog, but I read something today that has got me a little riled. A local pastor was indicted by a Texas Grand Jury last September on two counts of aggravated sexual assault on a child younger than 14 and  two counts of indecency with a child.  If you read the article it goes into detail of the nature of the charges. Personally, they make my skin crawl! But that isn't what made me want to write today. A local church (not the church where he was pastor, he resigned from there) has a flyer advertising their Good Friday service. At the bottom of the flyer it lists, along with photo, several pastors who will be speaking, and smack dab in the middle is the grinning face of  Pastor Pedophilia. Why, you may ask? That is my question! Not just why is he preaching? Why is he out on bond? He was arrested last May. And why is he allowed to be here in Virginia when he is awaiting trial in Texas for his disgusting behavior? And, ultimately, who in their right mind would ask him to preach in front of a congregation? If I were a betting woman, I would say, given that it's Good Friday, there will be some grandiose confession and a message about how Jesus dies for ALL. For all you Christians ready to pounce on me right about now, let me say this. Yes, I believe, as a Christian, that Jesus did die for all. We are all redeemed by the blood of the lamb and forgiveness is there for anyone, and I do mean anyone, that truly repents. However, that does not mean that we should be placing these people in front of the masses to "share the good news." I am not exactly sure why he is still free, but if convicted he will be behind bars for the rest of his life. So, while we've got him, let's let him lead a flock....NO!!! The article further states that after his resignation, the board discovered that he had "multiple extramarital affairs" with church members and people in the community. Wow! What an upstanding guy! I am sick and tired of people hiding behind the robes of Jesus to excuse their abhorrent behavior. And people wonder why the church gets a bad rap. Should we forgive? That's what the Bible says, but I haven't seen any repenting.

Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God?

If I read one more article, or see one more video with some idiot who uses the identifier as Christian claiming that tragedies, whether they be perpetrated by man or naturally happen, are a judgement from God, I may explode!!!!!!! At the very least I am going to start my own faith that does not have the word Christian in it because these buffoons have ruined the world's view of what I think a Christian is and should live like and treat others. What has spurred this outburst from me, you may be thinking? Well, it has been building for a while. I guess if I wanted to be honest, probably since 9-11, but recently with the Sandy Hook Shootings, the Boston Bombing and now, the Oklahoma Tornado, it seems the crazies have really come out of the woodwork in full force! I have a strong faith! I believe in God! Anyone who knows me or has followed this blog knows that, so if anybody reads this and wants to call me out as a heathen and condemn me to Hell, COME AT ME!!! I am so sick, of mainstream Christian leaders mouthing off answers to questions that people write in and ask or call in and ask about these tragedies and what part God played in them and why? If I were a lawyer and this was a courtroom, as soon as the dolt would begin to answer, I would shout, "Objection! Calls for speculation!" How dare you presume to know the mind of God! And while I'm at it, SHUT UP!!!!!! Every syllable you utter makes me, as a Christian, embarrassed that a group I belong to has  leaders who would make such stupid statements! You are the Taliban equivalent in Christianity. No, I am not saying you cause death and destruction or cause physical harm, but you are radical and extremist and when people believe the drivel you say as God's own words you are harming them spiritually and emotionally. Is the world in a crappy state? YES! Is evil running rampant? YES! Do I think that makes God unhappy? YES! Do I think that he caused all of the above mentioned tragedies to make us get our act together? NO!!! I believe in God, as a parent. I believe He loves me and cares for my well being. I believe that He sends me comfort when I need it, and that when I do something wrong, He is disappointed, but do I believe that if I step out of line that He will punish and kill thousands of people until I "repent?" NO! If I've got it wrong, then I guess I'll be the one who's surprised at the world's end, but for now I will believe that my God is a God of love and forgiveness. Isn't that why he sent his own son to die? If he was just going to kill all  of us when we ticked him off, doesn't that negate the whole "Jesus" thing? Don't know about you, but it's pretty hard to repent if you're dead. I know I might sound blasphemous to some, but I am enraged at the attack on my faith. I am saddened that my faith is being thought of as a group of idiots and hate mongers. Who do you think you're winning over? Isn't that our job as Christians to spread the GOOD news? Just letting you know that you're turning people off. You're driving people away from God and his love! So while you're yelling at people to repent, try getting on your knees yourself to explain to God, oh I forgot, you know what he's thinking, so I'll rephrase....Send him some telepathic thoughts of explanation as to why you're scaring the sheep away from His flock rather than bringing them into the fold with love and care.

And Forgive Us Our Trespasses.......

I was raised in the church. My sweet grandparents made sure that we were there every Sunday, and that I had my quarter to put in the offering plate. I can't really tell you when I actually learned the Lord's Prayer. It seems I've always known it. If you know it, near the end the line is, "and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." Stop and think about that a minute, "as we forgive those that trespass against us." I have said that prayer more times than I can count. Do I really mean it? I ask God to forgive me in the manner that I forgive others. If I expect God to forgive me of my sins as I forgive others, why am I not more forgiving? A few weeks ago my Sunday school lesson focused on forgiveness. As each of us in the class shared some insight, I found myself saying, "When you hold on to something, an injustice or hurt someone has inflicted upon you, you are not hurting that person, you are only hurting yourself. That person doesn't care that you are angry or sad. In fact after they hurt you, they probably never gave it another thought." I heard myself saying those words, but I knew as they were coming out of my mouth that I had never followed my own advice.
Two weeks ago, my mother almost died. I received a call from my sister who had followed the ambulance to the ER after my mother had stopped breathing. It was just like every scene you see on television and in the movies. The family waits, not knowing anything, until those doors open and someone comes out to tell you the condition your loved one is in. I won't lie. I tried to be strong, but in my own head, I kept picturing the doctor coming out and saying, "We did everything we could." That didn't happen. She got better, and she is back at home, but it made me think. Anything can happen at anytime, and I don't want to spend one more day filled up with anger and hurt from the fact that my husband left me 13 years ago and all the struggles that has caused. If I spend my life filled up with anger, how is there any room for love, love for others, love for myself or love for God? I'd rather live the rest of my life filled with love. What are you holding on to?