And Forgive Us Our Trespasses.......

I was raised in the church. My sweet grandparents made sure that we were there every Sunday, and that I had my quarter to put in the offering plate. I can't really tell you when I actually learned the Lord's Prayer. It seems I've always known it. If you know it, near the end the line is, "and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." Stop and think about that a minute, "as we forgive those that trespass against us." I have said that prayer more times than I can count. Do I really mean it? I ask God to forgive me in the manner that I forgive others. If I expect God to forgive me of my sins as I forgive others, why am I not more forgiving? A few weeks ago my Sunday school lesson focused on forgiveness. As each of us in the class shared some insight, I found myself saying, "When you hold on to something, an injustice or hurt someone has inflicted upon you, you are not hurting that person, you are only hurting yourself. That person doesn't care that you are angry or sad. In fact after they hurt you, they probably never gave it another thought." I heard myself saying those words, but I knew as they were coming out of my mouth that I had never followed my own advice.
Two weeks ago, my mother almost died. I received a call from my sister who had followed the ambulance to the ER after my mother had stopped breathing. It was just like every scene you see on television and in the movies. The family waits, not knowing anything, until those doors open and someone comes out to tell you the condition your loved one is in. I won't lie. I tried to be strong, but in my own head, I kept picturing the doctor coming out and saying, "We did everything we could." That didn't happen. She got better, and she is back at home, but it made me think. Anything can happen at anytime, and I don't want to spend one more day filled up with anger and hurt from the fact that my husband left me 13 years ago and all the struggles that has caused. If I spend my life filled up with anger, how is there any room for love, love for others, love for myself or love for God? I'd rather live the rest of my life filled with love. What are you holding on to?