You're Gonna Make it After All

When I was a kid, there was a sitcom on called The Mary Tyler Moore Show. It was about a young single woman moving away from the comfort of her home to the "big city" to live on her own and all the situations she encountered as she lived her life. The opening sequence shows her leaving her hometown, the goodbyes, and then a shot of her driving her fully loaded car away into the sunset off on life's journey. A little over a year ago, I watched a young single girl do the same thing, but this girl was my daughter, and she was off to New York City to chase the proverbial dream to be an actor. The beginning of the lyrics to the Mary Tyler Moore theme song are, "How will you make it on your own? This world is awfully big, girl, this time you're all alone." I have to be honest, as a Mom, I couldn't help but think about that and worry, but, boy, has she proven me wrong! She loves the city! She has fallen into the rhythm, and seems she's been there all of her life. It helps that she's there with friends. So, this is the part where I thank all of her friends and roommates for making this adventure a little bit easier, for taking care of her and loving her, and being the arms around her because I can't reach that far. I am so proud of you "making it on your own!" The rest of the song goes like this, so take it as my wish for your life and your birthday as you turn 27 today and living life on your terms. Love you so much!!!! Happy Birthday.
Love is all around, no need to waste it,
You can have the town, why don't you take it?
You're gonna make it after all!

God, I Hope She Gets It!

It has been quite some time since I posted, over 2 months, almost 3. So much has happened in my little life, but today I am writing a post for someone. Tomorrow, my oldest daughter turns 26. This birthday is different. She is not here, and probably won't be for many birthdays to come. A little over a month ago she moved to New York City to follow her dream of being an actress. It came as no surprise when she told me she wanted to move to the big city. In fact I was a little surprised she waited as long as she did, but opportunity presented itself, and she jumped on it. On August 11th, at 6AM, she got into her rented car, packed to the brim and started on her journey, not just to another city, but another life. Being an actor is hard! It takes sacrifice and perseverance, and the willingness to be told, "No," over and over again, and bounce right back. I know because I wanted to be an actor. Well, I am an actor, but I wanted that to be my job. I let other things get in the way, not that I have any regrets, mind you. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I made choices, and I am happy with them. She has made one choice: TO BE AN ACTOR, first and foremost. The first serious step she took was moving to NYC, a step that would terrify me, but she is up there seeing theatre and hustling to auditions and picking up jobs and navigating the subway like a pro - this alone would do me in - and she's not only doing it she's loving it! I never did it. I played it safe, and I have to say I'm a little envious, a tiny bit surprised but most of all in awe of her determination and basic guts to be up there doing what she's doing every day. I told her a long time ago that she had to decide if she wanted to be famous or make her living as an actor because they were two different things. Sometimes they're both, but rarely. My wish for her on this birthday is that she continue to have the drive to go at it day after day, that she stay comfortable, but not too comfortable,  that she continue to grow as an actress and keep working and studying and learning by experience or class, and, most of all that she be happy wherever she is and whatever she chooses. Happy Birthday, little girl! Love, Mommy!

Mike Wazowski Has a Friend, and It's not Sully

It's a lovely Saturday morning. I am sitting here in my new house enjoying the little Florida room in the back, one of the features that really sold me on moving in. It's quiet. All I can hear right now are the sounds of nature and my kitty, Lacy purring beside me. I have needed this all week, and I am glad just to sit here and enjoy the "downtime." It's been a crazy week, folks. First of all, we are moving into a new building at work. Statistics state that moving, of any kind, ranks third in stressful life events, ranking only behind death and divorce.  This is the second time I'm moving in the span of just 2 months. Add to that, uncertainty about the move at work. We are all packed only to find out the move date has changed.  So there's that. Then I get my cleaning deposit back from my previous move, something I have been looking forward to so I can shop for a sofa, to find it is 1/10 of what I deposited, I was livid, but that's another blog post. Then last Thursday was my day to see the neurologist to find out the results of my follow up MRI to see if my friend Mike Wazowski had grown back. Well, here's the scoop. Mike doesn't seem to have grown, but a friend has moved in with him. In looking at the most recent films, the conclusion is that I have now developed a cyst in the area Mike used to reside called the Cella. The best way I can describe the location is the space between the two hemispheres of your brain. The cyst is at the top of this space, and what Mike left behind is at the bottom. I am in no imminent danger, not like things were before when Mike took up the entire space and then some, but here is the disappointing news I received. I must have the same procedure all over again to drain and remove the cyst, and while we're in there will make sure that Mike has totally vacated his space. I was less than thrilled to hear that. I just wanted to be done with all of it, and I know that many will say, but at least it's not cancer, and it could be worse, and 1000's of other attempts at what they feel are comforting words, but the fact remains that for the second time in the span of a year, I am going to have to have brain surgery, and IT SUCKS!!! It's the exact same surgery, with the exact same recovery time which means loss of time from work and more money that I don't have. And before you ask, yes, I have insurance, but paying 30% of a $229,000 hospital bill, even after insurance knocks it down to their allowable charge is still an expense I can't afford, and yes, I know I can set up a payment plan, but I don't have any EXTRA. That's the facts, plain and simple people. Right now, it sounds like I am throwing myself a pity party. I'm not! I write this blog to be honest about the way I feel and think. Part of the reason I do that, especially with something like this, is because I want other people who are going through this or something like it to read this and say, hey, I feel like that too. I'm not alone out here going through my crisis. Somebody understands the way I feel.
So, plan of action, for those who are curious. I will wait, which my doctor says is ok this time, until I can earn enough vacation and sick time to cover the month it will take to do this. That will help with a little of the financial dark cloud. So we are probably looking at early 2017. Until then, Mike and his new roommate better behave, there's no vacancy in Hotel Cella!

A Chapter Closed

The closing for the sale of my childhood home since 1977 was slated for 3:00 today. Over the last 34 years. I have moved in and out of that house 5 times. I initially moved in back in 1977 in the summer of my 7th grade year. The house was big enough that my whole family lived there. My Mom and Dad, my sister and my maternal grandparents all in the same house. At that time Gayton Forest seemed like "the country." Truthfully, there wasn't much past that neighborhood but woods. If you know the Short Pump area at all now, that seems inconceivable. I spent my high school days in that house. So many firsts, first date, first dance, first high school party, and my first kiss in the front foyer. I got engaged in that house, lost my first baby to miscarriage and was elated when I found out that I was pregnant again, all in that house. It was a shelter in the time of storm when at 34 I found myself with no money, no job and no car after my husband of 15 years left and I had two tiny girls to raise alone. My parents opened up the basement apartment so that we were not left on the street. My girls spent most of their childhood there and they were incredibly fortunate to be able to spend so much time with both of their grandparents and their great grandmother all in that house. Birthdays, and Christmases, and Thanksgivings and Halloweens have been spent inside those walls. Today that chapter closes in my life and the house's life. Tomorrow a new family will start a new chapter in "my" house. I wish for them all the things that made that house a home to me.