♪♫ Could it be? Yes it could! Somethin's comin'. Somethin' GOOD! ♫♪

Back at the end of March I wrote a post about my oldest auditioning for the theatre program at one of the two colleges she had been accepted to for the fall of 2012. The following is an update to all things college that have happened since then. If you read the post, you know that I was not able to take that trip with my daughter to that audition. Working in College Admission myself, I was anxious to hear her impression of the school. She really didn't say much at all. This worried me a bit because having talked to thousands of students and their parents over the last 7 years, I knew that if the fit is right, most students fall in love with the campus as soon as they arrive. They just feel "at home" I didn't get that vibe from her at all. I began to ask questions about the visit. Much to my surprise, my daughter told me that the tour guide spent more time bashing things about the school than talking it up. I was shocked! That would never happen where I work! I also knew my daughter was reluctant to say too much to me because she knew that this was the only school, at this point, where we had tuition exchange. Money was not an issue with this school, so she didn't want to tell me that she didn't want to go there. Yeah, I've raised one of those kids. We waited for about two weeks, and on the last day of spring break, she received information from the school that she had not made it into their theatre program. She was actually relieved because she really didn't want to attend there. I, however, was devastated. I felt like last year was playing out all over again. We were back to all our eggs in one basket again.   We still hadn't heard from the other tuition exchange school. We were supposed to know by the 15th. It was the 13th. I took a chance and called the college. I was put through to the very nice person in charge of tuition exchange. She looked up the account and the next words were music to my ears, "I don't know why she hasn't received a letter. I'm showing here that she received tuition exchange." I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Being the way I am, I clarified before I hung up, "So you're saying she has tuition exchange?" "YES!," was the answer that came back. My daughter was not at the house when I made the call. She was out with a friend. As soon as she walked in the door, I told her the news. She was ecstatic! the first time I'd seen her that way about college since she got accepted to the school last year that we couldn't make happen. It was a GREAT feeling to see her so excited! Fast forward about 6 weeks: We just returned Saturday from a trip to see the college that she will be attending in the fall. It was beautiful! The campus is small, but very welcoming and scenic. I loved it, but more importantly she did! Their theatre program is ranked in the top 10 in the US, and she will be able to audition for any shows as early as the Spring semester of her freshman year. The entire pre-college experience has been very positive and welcoming. This institution really seems to care about their students, and that's what I'm looking for. So, that "plan" seems to be falling into place just as my girl knew it would all along. In 71 days, I will be on the road to move my little girl into her college dorm, her home for the next 4 years. Am I ready? No, I don't think I'll ever be ready, but I am excited for her and what the future holds for her, and I am certain that this college is the first leg on the journey that was always meant to be!

♫♪ Could it be? Yes, it could! ♪♫

About a year ago, I was not in a very happy place. Followers of this blog and my friends will remember that my oldest daughter got accepted to her first choice college only to find out that tuition exchange didn't come through, and she could not attend. Some of you may have been wondering what story unfolded after that blow was dealt. After many, many instances of having to answer the question, "Where are you going to college?" with the answer, "I'm not." and watching all of her friends start their new lives, she stayed home and got a job. Some of you may be wondering why she did not go to community college. If she attended college at all she would not be able to try for tuition exchange again this year. So, after much discussion, we agreed a GAP year would be best. We started the process all over again of applying to colleges last fall. She applied to three, one, a state school, and the other two on tuition exchange. She has already been accepted to both tuition exchange schools, and, HALLELUJAH!, one has already awarded her tuition exchange. The jury is still out on tuition exchange for the other school. Tomorrow she is going to the school that has awarded her tuition exchange to audition for their theatre program. I cannot even be with her because of my show schedule. My wonderful sister is making the trek to take her. It's all so exciting and nerve racking too! What a difference a year makes!! Last year I thought all hope was lost. All dreams had been dashed. I thought that way, but through it all, my daughter's belief in God and His plan for her has never wavered. She was the one comforting me, telling me it would all work out. Well, my love, it seems all is falling into place. I wish you all the best Saturday as you go show the audition committee what all of us here know you have the talent for. This time next year, I will be waiting for you to come home for the summer from your freshman year of college.

Promises, promises!

I work for a very prestigious institution of higher learning. I have worked there for almost 6 years. before working there, I had a job with the school system that I loved!!! Not only did it seem like the perfect job for me, but I got 2 weeks of vacation at Christmas, a week for Spring break and my summers off. Why, pray tell, would I even attempt to leave a job like that? It's the old saying, "The grass is always greener." or maybe "Things are not always as they appear." However, I was looking, mostly for more money. Hence my search. My search brought me to where I presently work. I remember well being interviewed and told the benefits of working for this institution. Webster defines benefit as : a service (as health insurance) or right (as to take vacation time) provided by an employer in addition to wages or salary. You usually don't have to qualify for a benefit. One of the benefits of working for this institution was college tutition would be paid for my dependents. WOW!! That's a HUGE BENEFIT! I, being the questioning creature that I am, had to clarify. Me: That's just if they attend here, right? Interviewer: Oh, no, we have a list of several colleges where tuition exchange is available. Skip to a week later. I am offered the job. Not quite the money increase I was hoping for, in fact not really an increase hardly at all, and I would be giving up 11 weeks of vacation. BUT, college tuition, how can I pass that up? That's just being foolish, Terri. So, eventhough my gut was telling me to stay where I was extremely satisfied and happy, my brain was telling me that I was being selfish, and that I just didn't want to give up my summers off. I took the job. Flash forward to 5 years later. My oldest begins to look at colleges, colleges that will be paid for with my "benefit". She wants to be an actor, so our search centers around a good school to meet those needs. EUREKA! A fabulous school with a great reputation is on the "Tuition Exchange" list. We visit and decision is made that this is the first choice! Now to apply and get accepted. The nerve racking day comes for auditions to get into the theatre program. Now we have to wait two weeks. Finally the letter comes, and she is accepted!!!! Everyone is elated, but there is still the issue of financial aid. In my brain, I am thinking, well tuition is taken care of (remember the benefit), we just need to make sure that we get enough financial aid to cover room and board. MORE WAITING!! Now, this is the part where I will warn you, if you are waiting for a happy ending, stop reading now. Imagine my surprise when I learn that my daughter is on a waitlist for the "benefit" of tuition exchange! WHAT??!! A WAITLIST?!! How can that be? It's a benefit! You don't have to qualify for a benefit. That's why I took this job, that's why I've been working here for almost 6 years. We decided to be optimistic! Maybe we wouldn't need the Tuition Exchange, maybe we would qualify for full financial aid. Let's go on as if we will get it, and deposit and fill out housing applications and register for Orientation. The financial aid package comes. We are about $16,000 shy of what we need, which to me might as well be $100,000. Well, let's still be optimistic! Maybe she'll get off the waitlist. MORE WAITING!!!!! And finally the news comes, "So many qualified candidates applied, ya-da, ya-da, ya-da....we will NOT be able to provide you with a tuition exchange scholarship." Oh, now it's a scholarship! Wait, I'm a little bit confused. I was told this was a perk of working here, a "benefit", but it's only a benefit under certain qualifying factors. Do I feel it's unfair? YES! Do I feel I was misled? YES! Do I feel I was promised something and then the promise was not delivered? YES! Can I do anything about it? NO! What I have to do is take away from this a lesson learned that if something sounds too good to be true, it is, and that there is always fine print. I just didn't expect my employer to keep the magnifying glass hidden.

I'm a Fraud

For a long time now, I have had many friends talk to me about their problems, ask me for advice, insight, and sometimes to offer a word that brings HOPE. In all those instances, I have been there and listened and gave my honest analysis and advised when asked, and yes I have, when needed, tried to ignite HOPE. I am great in doing this for other people, but when it comes to following my own advice, I am an epic failure. I used to be really good at getting back up after I was knocked down, but somewhere along the way I have veered off the path of hope into despair and indignation because life has given me way too many lemons, and frankly I'm sick of lemonade. I mask this pity party with the claim that I am a realist, and I am just trying to see things the way they really are, no rose colored glasses for me! However, my realism has turned into obsession with the phrase "Why me?" Not my usual post, I know, but in the past few days I got some news that really had me not only attending the pity party, but claiming the role of guest of honor. My oldest daughter was accepted to her first choice college. It also happened to be a college that was on tuition exchange with my work. That means there is a possibility that the tuition is paid for, something very important to a single mom struggling to raise 2 kids. I found out a couple of days ago that money may not come through. I was so mad, mad at the University, life, even God. Yet, when I shared the news with my daughter, I got this amazing response. She had this fabulous attitude about it.She knows that things will work out the way they are supposed to. She trusts God and the plan He has for her life. I used to be that way. What happened? How did I stray so far? So...the advice giver now must humble herself and learn a lesson from her child. Things will work out the way they are supposed to. Once we have done all we can do, we need to let it go, and leave it in the hands of God. I had an occasion to be at a hospital today and the hall where I entered had a huge sign over it, and it was also facing me when I exited. It said "Hallway of Hope" I thought to myself as I walked out, "Okay, God, message received." For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future. ~ Jeremiah 29:11