I Am One of the Parasite Class

 

I have been silent for a while. Partly because I was busy with a show, but also there is so much to write about, where do I start? I have now been off of Facebook for a full month. I can't say I miss it much. I am still on Instagram, and I could slap myself for ever clicking on a Plinko ad. I am not kidding, there is now a Plinko ad every other frame, but that is not what I am writing about today. I have really tried hard not to look at the news for the last month, but I do see some of what's going on in between the Plinko ads. Tonight, I skimmed through some headlines, and I saw that Musk reposted the below meme on "X" with his addition. 

 

Federal Programs? Hmmm. All federal programs, or just the ones you think deserve it? And how could he think that 90% of Americans aren't benefitting in some way from federal programming? And, here's a little insight for people who are dumb enough to think that all of these massive cuts aren't affecting them. Social Security is a federal program, yes, but it's not a hand out from the government. If you have ever worked in your life, there is an amount that is taken out of every paycheck you get for social security. You are paying for that program to help others and so you will have something when you stop working. Of course, most of us cannot even afford to stop working if we were going to receive our "full" benefit. It is not enough to live on, but I digress. I am sure a vast majority of the people who are happy with what is going on right now think that federal programs refers to welfare, as they called it in my younger years or government assistance. You know, the "bums who are too lazy to get a job and live off of the government, the 'parasites'" Well, I was one of those "parasites." I have shared this story before, but for those of you who are new to this blog, at the age of 34, 27 years ago today, I found out that my husband, the love of my life, the sole bread winner (I was a stay-at-home Mom of our 2 children, ages 2 and 5) was having an affair with a co-worker, and my life blew up. I tried my best to change so he would stay with me because I must have done something wrong for him to cheat on me. NOTE: This is what happens in this situation almost always. The party being cheated on believes it is somehow their fault, and the party cheating plays into that and perpetuates it. I hung in there for 4 more months trying my hardest to save my marriage all to come home from a trip away with my children to visit a friend and her family to an empty house with a letter telling me he'd left, and I should get my act together. He didn't just leave us. He left both of his jobs, took the only functioning car, and overdrew the checking account. In the matter of one day, through no fault of my own, I had nothing, less than nothing. I had no job, no money, with overdraft fees piling up because he had taken the full balance of money out of the checking account, no savings and 2 small children to raise. Oh, and lest I forget, when he left his job, we no longer had medical insurance. Think of yourself in that situation. What can you do? How will you live? How will you feed your children? Even if you could get a job, how could you get there? You have no car. If you could get to the job, what do you do with your children? How do you afford daycare? You have no idea where your husband is because he certainly didn't tell you, and even if you found him, he quit both of his jobs, and he has no money to give you. I did the only thing I could. I applied for government assistance and food stamps. Let me tell you, I grew up in a white middle class and later upper middle class home, and I always believed that line that people on welfare are lazy. They don't want to get a job. I was pretty judgy! And here I was using food stamps at the grocery store. I was so embarrassed to use them. I knew everyone was judging me because I had done the exact same thing to others out of ignorance. I found a job within 2 months, not a huge paying job, not even close to the salary my husband had been making, but thanks to the help of family and friends, I was able to work without paying the exorbitant amount it would have cost me to put my children in daycare. When I started the job, my government assistance stopped except for the medical insurance for my children, but I don't know how we would have survived without that assistance for those 2 months. Are there people that play the system? I'm sure there are, but that happens all the time, but those are the few, most are in situations they never thought they would be in. They never thought they would have to rely on the government to support them. They never thought they would have to become a "parasite." In case you don't know the exact definition, here a 2 from Webster's dictionary. The first: an organism living in, on, or with another organism in order to obtain nutrients, grow, or multiply often in a state that directly or indirectly harms the host. 

The second: someone or something that resembles a biological parasite in living off of, being dependent on, or exploiting another while giving little or nothing in return. Notice that the first definition cuts the biological parasite some slack in the highlighted portion, "directly or indirectly," in other words, the biological parasite needs a host to live, and possibly just by living and doing nothing else, they may harm the host. They're not setting out to harm the host, they are simply trying to survive. The second definition of a human parasite gives no leniency, going so far as to use the word, "exploiting," and the phrase "giving little or nothing in return." How very much like that we have become. We show more empathy and understanding to a tick or a tapeworm than a human being. Let me say it louder for those in the back a HUMAN BEING. I was just trying to survive and feed my children, but according to Elon Musk and supposedly 90% of Americans, I was a parasite. Who are we? Who have we become? If you are one of the people who is watching with glee as all these people are losing their jobs, these veterans losing their benefits, people not able to get their medication, just remember, my life changed in 1 day. I went from leading a comfortable life to less than nothing, no home, no car, no job and no money. Be careful, because you might just have to become a parasite to survive.

                                                  

Some Place Where There Isn't Any Trouble

 

Tonight I did something that I haven't done for quite some time. I sat down and watched The Wizard of Oz. If you have read this blog, you know everything I am about to say, but bear with me for the newcomers. I adore the movie The Wizard of Oz. Because I am 60 years old, almost 61, I grew up with just 3 major networks on TV and Public Broadcasting. Every year, The Wizard of Oz, was broadcast on television. I never missed a year for as long as I can remember. When movies were released on video, I was glad to have a copy so I could watch it whenever I wanted, but I have to say that took a little bit out of the specialness away for me. SO many times, just like anything else, when something is always there, we take it for granted. When my children were old enough, I introduced it to them, and they watched it over and over as most children do. Ask any present day parent with a young one today how many times they've had to listen to Let it Go, but I digress. I never minded how many times they watched it because it never got old for me and never does. The Wizard of Oz celebrates 85 years since it's release this year. It was released the year my mother was born, 1939. My children are grown now, and I don't have any grandchildren yet, so I can't tell you the last time I sat down to watch it, but tonight I did, and I was strangely emotional about the whole thing. I was by myself, and as the first strains of the overture started, and the title appeared on the screen in sepia tone, I felt that "just on the brink of tears" feeling. No, the overture isn't sad, and, truthfully I don't know why I was reacting the way I was, but I sat and watched. No surprises, I could recite the screenplay by heart and say every line with every actor, and, have done so, at times, to the annoyance of my youngest daughter as her older sister and I have acted out the film before, but tonight I wasn't just watching the film as I've done one hundred times before. I was watching it like I had never seen it before. I got past the rote recitation and really listened to the dialogue and watched the reactions of the actors. The beautiful 16 year old Judy Garland, so young before Hollywood chewed her up and spit her out. The irony of what Dorothy longs for would also become what Judy longed for most of her life, "some place where there isn't any trouble." I started crying as she started singing Over the Rainbow, and I didn't stop until Toto jumped through the window of her bedroom after escaping the evil Miss Gulch. The longing that you hear in Judy's voice is heartbreaking. It made me wonder why I could not also fly with the happy little bluebirds. I also cried when Dorothy tells the Tin Man and the Scarecrow that they are the "best friends anybody ever had." I cried when they are told they can't see the Wizard and to go away, and she tells all her new found friends how bad she feels that her Aunt Em is sick and may be dying, and it's all her fault. I cried when at the thought of the witch drowning her dog, she freely steps up to take the consequences of giving up the ruby slippers, something Glinda has warned that she will be at the mercy of the wicked witch if she does, and she exclaims through sobs of fear, "He got away. He got away." I cried as I watched her, all alone in the witch's castle waiting for her doomed fate, calling out to her Auntie Em that she is frightened. I cried at the gut wrenching disappointment in her eyes as she says to the Wizard, "I don't think there's anything in that black bag for me." And finally when she says her goodbyes to the Tin Man , Lion and Scarecrow, and especially when she whispers to the Scarecrow, "I think I'll miss you most of all," well I have always cried at that point. The point being, I was more emotional watching this film tonight, that I have seen hundreds of times, than I ever have been watching it before. Why? I am still emotional as I type this. Of course, Dorothy's dream of Oz, the place "over the rainbow," isn't trouble free at all, but in her dream she faces her problem instead of running away from it. She doesn't go in her bedroom and cry and wonder what to do. She goes to face a witch that she knows will harm her because she wants to get back to the place that she wanted to leave so badly just "days" before. There are all kinds of cliche phrases that fit this scenario, "Be careful what you wish for," "The grass is always greener," "Out of the frying pan and into the fire." We've all heard these before, and I guess the true lesson is that no place is perfect, and if we spend our lives chasing that perfection or wishing away our life waiting for something better to come along or that we were somewhere there wasn't any trouble, newsflash: that doesn't exist, we will find, as Dorothy did, that home is always where her happiness was. Home was where the people were that loved her, and life would always have problems, but there would be friends to help her solve them and get through. It's not a coincidence that the Scarecrow, Lion and Tin Man are the images of her friends at home. I kept thinking of the phrase, "Some place where there isn't any trouble." This film was released on August 25, 1939. On September 1, 1939, Hitler invaded Poland. I am sure that audiences needed to hear that message then. The world was full of trouble, just like it is today, and just like it always will be, and sometimes it will be far away, and sometimes we will be right in the middle of it, and maybe that's why I was so emotional. Tonight when I sat down to watch I felt like Dorothy does at the beginning. The world seems so troubled right now. I have friends and family who are facing hardships, and health issues, and grieving. This sounds so trivial, but I have 2 cats at home that I love that have all of a sudden become aggressive with each other when they were loving to each other before, and I am at a loss as how to fix it, and I had just broken them up, once again, when I sat down to watch this film. That seems so small, but I really think it was a metaphor of all the things I cannot fix right now that I have no control over, and I just wanted to go to that place "where there isn't any trouble." Dorothy actually says to Toto, "do you suppose their is such a place, Toto?" We know that there isn't, and the place that's supposed to have no trouble has more challenges than anything Dorothy has faced before, but through that she finds Wisdom - the Scarecrow, and Compassion - the Tin Man and Courage - the Lion. She is also told that she always had the power to solve her problem, but she had to learn that for herself. I have seen sketches that make light of that moment in the film where Dorothy is royally pissed at Glinda that she didn't tell her that to begin with, and thinking about that it is funny, and it does make you wonder, but I heard something today as I was listening to The Light We Carry by Michelle Obama. "If you try to keep your children from feeling fear, you're essentially keeping them from feeling competence, too." If we never fall, we don't learn how to get back up. If we never experience pain, we don't really grasp what joy is like, and if we live in a place where there isn't any trouble, we miss the opportunity to gain Wisdom and Compassion and Courage, and maybe that's why I was crying because I can't fix everything, but that's not the way it is supposed to be. The importance is finding the power within to face the challenges that come, and when you can't fix them have the wisdom to recognize it, the compassion to deal with all those around you as you face it, and the courage to stand and face the storm.

What Have We Become?

I read a headline today, and it disgusted me! "Man Arrested for Filming Fatal Car Crash Instead of Helping" I clicked on the link to read the article as many times there's more to the story than meets the eye. As I read, I was shocked and then saddened. He did not just stand across the street and film it, which would have been bad enough. He actually walked up to the crash, opened the back door and leaned in to film the two badly injured teenagers, one who later died, and then walked around the front of the car to film. He was obviously there before rescue was on the scene. But, wait, there's more. He then tried to sell the footage. How can someone have such a lack of compassion? No matter what led up to the crash, the man is heard saying on the film that the boys are idiots, no one deserves to die. The point is not whether this jerk could have helped. It is that he didn't even try and goes a step further and films their pain and suffering hoping to yield a profit from it. As a society have we become so self-centered, so apathetic that we have lost all concern for our fellow human beings? I know this ass doesn't represent all men, but he represents too many for my comfort. Because we live in a world of snapchats, tweets and instagram, photos and videos are posted for the world to see seconds after they happen. There is no editing of what content is posted, what is said, or seen. This man did post his video to Facebook. I don't know how many friends he has or how many times it was shared, but wrap your head around this. He filmed a boy dying and posted it for entertainment or shock value or whatever the hell. I would hope and pray that if that had been my daughters in that car that someone would help them, at the very least call 911, not film their pain and suffering. I'm not much for using this word, but nothing fits but this in this scenario. He is one sick f*ck!
Why do we show so little concern for our fellow man? I feel bad when I hit a bird who waited too late to fly away. I certainly couldn't stand idly by while two young people were badly hurt and bleeding, let alone film them. The thing that really scares me? What will the world be like in 10 years? Hell, 5 years. What will we have evolved into by then?