I'm a Fraud

For a long time now, I have had many friends talk to me about their problems, ask me for advice, insight, and sometimes to offer a word that brings HOPE. In all those instances, I have been there and listened and gave my honest analysis and advised when asked, and yes I have, when needed, tried to ignite HOPE. I am great in doing this for other people, but when it comes to following my own advice, I am an epic failure. I used to be really good at getting back up after I was knocked down, but somewhere along the way I have veered off the path of hope into despair and indignation because life has given me way too many lemons, and frankly I'm sick of lemonade. I mask this pity party with the claim that I am a realist, and I am just trying to see things the way they really are, no rose colored glasses for me! However, my realism has turned into obsession with the phrase "Why me?" Not my usual post, I know, but in the past few days I got some news that really had me not only attending the pity party, but claiming the role of guest of honor. My oldest daughter was accepted to her first choice college. It also happened to be a college that was on tuition exchange with my work. That means there is a possibility that the tuition is paid for, something very important to a single mom struggling to raise 2 kids. I found out a couple of days ago that money may not come through. I was so mad, mad at the University, life, even God. Yet, when I shared the news with my daughter, I got this amazing response. She had this fabulous attitude about it.She knows that things will work out the way they are supposed to. She trusts God and the plan He has for her life. I used to be that way. What happened? How did I stray so far? So...the advice giver now must humble herself and learn a lesson from her child. Things will work out the way they are supposed to. Once we have done all we can do, we need to let it go, and leave it in the hands of God. I had an occasion to be at a hospital today and the hall where I entered had a huge sign over it, and it was also facing me when I exited. It said "Hallway of Hope" I thought to myself as I walked out, "Okay, God, message received." For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future. ~ Jeremiah 29:11