Ladies and Gentlemen..THE BEATLES!

I was just over 3 months old when The Beatles appeared in America for the first time on The Ed Sullivan show on February 9, 1964. I only remember seeing The Beatles once on TV. It was The Smothers Brothers Show in 1968, and for years I thought it was "Let It Be", but apparently it was "Hey Jude" What can I say? I was only 4. I can't say I was a gaga Beatles fan. They broke up when I was only 7, but I did grow to love so many of their songs when I was growing up. Whether you loved them or hated them, you cannot deny the impact they had on music and the world. It would take me forever to list the hits they turned out. They were so versatile. Their music ranged from classics like "Till There Was You" to the hard rock of "Revolution" "Yesterday" is one of the most covered songs in history with over 2200 recordings. They proved themselves to not just be a flash in the pan. They are one of the first groups I remember hearing that used classical instruments in their songs, the gorgeous string quartet in "Yesterday," the chorus of french horns in "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band." the percussive cellos in "Eleanor Rigby," one of my personal favorites. They were innovative and cutting edge, but above all, they were true musicians, writing their own music. It has been 50 years since they were introduced to America, but their music is just as popular with today's generation. Both my girls, 18 and 21, love their music.
I was fortunate to catch the Grammy's tribute special to the Fab Four. It was filled with rock legends old and new to perform their own versions of some of the most beloved songs, but the part that absolutely blew me away were the performances of Ringo Starr (73) and Paul McCartney (71) as the show's finale. They both rocked the house, but Paul McCartney in particular was unbelievable! He didn't shy away from the high notes, and he wailed on the guitar like he was 20. He closed with "Hey Jude," and my youngest remarked that it sounded like she was listening to he iPod. What a gift they gave the world. I feel so lucky to have enjoyed their music through my life, and look forward to enjoying it for many years to come!

Forever Young

When I was little probably one of the first people I saw in movies who made me think, "Hey, I want to do that," was Shirley Temple. I can remember watching her movies on Saturday mornings back when we had 4 channels to choose from. She started her career in 1931 at the age of 3. In the films I remember most she was probably no more than 5 or 6, about the same age I was. In reality the films had been re-released, and she was actually 41 when I was watching her tap and sing as an adorable little girl. Shirley had a rare quality, something you don't see very often these days in child stars. She was extremely talented, yes, but she wasn't obnoxious and annoying as so many children with fame thrust upon them tend to be. She was the "biggest star in the world" at a very young age. What an awesome responsibility  She danced and acted with some of the greats of the 30's era, Buddy Ebsen, Jack Haley, Alice Faye and one of my hometown greats, Bill "Bojangles" Robinson as well as many others. With her signature golden ringlets and impish smile, she charmed her way into the hearts of generations. My own children were enthralled by her as well as I am sure many will be in the future. She was a true American Icon, and she will be missed but remain in our hearts forever young.

Thanks for Sharing

I recently saw a film called Thanks for Sharing. The film is specifically about sex addiction, but it really opened up a world to me that a lot of us don't see. More importantly, we don't want to see it. It is the world of the addict. When we hear addict we think junkie, someone holed up in some crack house, or shooting up in some alley. There are all kinds of addicts, and I am sure that some people I interact with every day have some kind of addiction. I just don't know about it. They keep it well hidden, but, oh, what a struggle that must be! I do not have an addictive personality. I've never done drugs. I've never smoked, not even for a role on stage. In fact I almost turned down an amazing role years ago because the character was a chain smoker, and when I was offered the role, I turned it down initially telling the director I would love to do the role, but I wasn't going to smoke. She told me they had already decided, given the small space, to eliminate that part of the character. Break for me. I drink alcohol maybe once or twice a year, and never enough to hardly get tipsy. I have some very strong pain medication that I take when I have kidney stones, but I only take them for the pain, and proof of that is that I have a prescription that is years old, and there are still several pills left. I did not list all those things to say, "Look at me! I'm a saint!" I just believe that people are wired differently, and I thank God that I am not wired to fall prey to addiction.
I grew up around addiction. My father was an alcoholic. Now, before I go any further I want to say right now that I loved my Daddy. I don't share this to tarnish him in any way. In fact I was very proud of him when he stopped, and spent the rest of his days as a recovering alcoholic, but it was not easy to be around as his child. When I was very young I don't remember much about it at all, probably because I spent most of the time at my grandmother and grandfather's house just 6 doors down from our own. But.. being the stubborn child I was I do remember once, around age 6 or 7, that I insisted on spending a Friday night in my own house rather than do the usual spending the weekend at my grandparent's as my sister had. My father was not home when I went to bed, but I remember distinctly waking up to yelling and peering through my parent's bedroom door and seeing my father pick up the end of the fourposter bed, and slam it back down to the floor in anger. I quickly went back to bed. I had never seen my dad like that. Let me also add here that my dad was never physically abusive with any of us. As I grew older, in my teens, especially my high school years, my dad never had dinner with us because he would start drinking beer when he got home and would continue beer after beer until around 10 or 11 at night when he was finally ready to eat, and my mother would fix him dinner. If I happened to stick around to interact with my dad after several beers I would almost always leave irritated. When my dad drank beer he would become what I would call a pitiful drunk constantly asking me if I loved him. He would get very thick tongued and unsteady on his feet. I usually didn't stick around for the end stages. I hated it!!!! When my dad drank hard liquor he would get very mean and sarcastic, and often times he would go out driving, something that is incomprehensible to me now. He did this even after I was hit by a drunk driver at the age of 11 resulting in over 100 stitches in my face as the result of the back window exploding in my face. That alone proves it was and is a disease. My father loved me immensely! He would never deliberately put me or anyone else in danger. But I will be honest. I judged him then. I thought how awful it was that he wouldn't stop drinking. He didn't see himself as having a problem. He could handle it. Isn't it that way with so many addicts? I remember how hurt he was when my future in-laws had an open bar at my rehearsal dinner and I asked him to please not drink. It wasn't like it is now back then. People didn't talk about these things. Nobody shared. It wasn't viewed as a problem. I am not sure what the catalyst was that made him stop. It was after I was married and out of the house for a few years, but he did, and he stayed sober for the rest of his days here with us. I was so glad when my children came along that he was sober because they loved him deeply and he them, and they were able to have a wonderful relationship with their Papa because he was not under the influence, but I'm sure every day was a struggle for him.
My last post was about Philip Seymour Hoffman's tragic death due to a heroin overdose. A statement was made by another celebrity over social media that his death was stupid. Maybe that person was trying to convey that taking heroin to begin with was stupid and he should have had more self control and made better choices. Easier said than done, my friend.  After all, isn't addiction the very definition of being out of control? A good friend of mine posted an article today on Facebook about this very mentality and how dangerous it is. I don't think anyone has ever said this better to open our eyes to the life of an addict. Why did I share all this today? Because keeping it quiet is part of the problem. Shaming is part of the problem. Judging is part of the problem. I'd rather be part of the solution.

Sometimes You Just Have to Ask, "Why?"

Today is a sad day. Today the world has lost one of its finest young actors, Philip Seymour Hoffman. I say young because to me, he was. Only 46, 4 years younger than I, but really young in the fact that he had so much more to share with the world. An amazing talent, he began his career in 1991 at the age of 24. I first heard of his death when my daughter called me from college because she was hoping it was a hoax, and asked me if it was true. At this point, the wire services had already picked up the story, and his death had been confirmed. Being a budding actor herself, he was one of her favorites. He was also one of mine. He was definitely one of the most versatile actors of our time. Proof of this came to me when I went to IMDB to search for a film I had seen him in years ago, and as I looked at his body of work, I found myself thinking, "Oh, yeah, I forgot he was in that." Not to say that he was forgettable at all, but that he was so different in each role he brought to life that I certainly remembered the role, but had forgotten that he was the actor. I guess the first time I ever saw him was in Boogie Nights, a very interesting role in a very interesting movie. I've seen him in a myriad of roles since then running the gamut from the priest in Doubt to Ben Stiller's crazy friend in Along Came Polly, but one of my favorite roles of his was that of Rusty in a 1999 movie with Robert De Niro called Flawless. You may have never heard of it, but do yourself a favor and rent it. Hoffman plays a drag queen who is giving De Niro, a wounded cop, singing lessons as a form of physical therapy. The premise sounds humorous to say the least, but it has some extremely touching moments, and Hoffman's performance is nothing short of brilliant! I don't even know how I happened on it to begin with, but I am so glad I did. When I think of Philip Seymour Hoffman, I think of the words fearless, risk taker, bold, passionate and definitely talented, but he was obviously very private as well. You didn't hear a lot about his personal life. No one knows what drives us to do the things we do. He was definitely struggling, and it makes me so sad that yet another giant in the acting world has fallen prey to the monster of drug addiction. I am not passing judgement. I am simply asking, "Why?" I will never understand, and my heart is heavy at the loss of such a bright light who had the world in front of him. What wonderful performances could we have seen if we had not been deprived of another 30 years of his career?

No More Babies

Today is bittersweet for me. It marks the day that I officially have no more "children." My youngest girl becomes a legal adult today as she turns 18 at 8:16 this morning. I cannot believe that 18 years have passed since I traveled to Henrico Doctors Hospital very early on a snowy Thursday morning for a planned C-section due to the fact that the delivery of her older sister 3 1/2 years prior had not been an easy one. She received one arrangement of yellow roses and a balloon and almost no visitors as  the blizzard of 1996 had hit. The yellow roses came from my sweet Daddy. In fact the name on the floral card decided how we would spell her name. Her name is Georgia, but we call her Georgi. Most people spell it with an "e" on the end, but as the story goes, when the clerk at the florist asked my father how to spell her name, he didn't know. She suggested that leaving off the "e" had a lot of personality and flair, and that is the way it has always been. It could not suit her more perfectly. She has tons of personality and fabulous flair. She is talented and entertaining, and she keeps all of us in stitches with all of her different characters and voices. I often think how much my father would love her humor, and I can hear him laughing and see his smile.
She is a true beauty inside and out! I look at her in awe, and sometimes cannot believe that I created her. She has dealt with adversity all of her life as we became a single parent household when her father left us just after she turned 2. She has never known anything but financial struggle, but you would never know it. She is giving and kind and compassionate, and she has never used the adversity as an excuse to behave badly or whine or fail. She has taught me more than I could ever have imagined, and I treasure her insight and her unique view of the world. She has opened my eyes to things that I never would have seen. I often say that we are the same person, and in many ways we are, but at 18, she is already a better person than I would have ever dreamed of becoming when I was her age.
People say you fall in love with a child as soon as they are placed in your arms. I don't know if it was that way for me, but every day has been an adventure. We have had our ups and downs, mostly ups, but my love grows deeper and deeper as the years pass, and I didn't think it would be possible for my love to be any bigger, but it just keeps evolving as we walk our journey together as Mother and daughter and more importantly best friends. My sweet, sweet, girl, I cannot wait to see how you tackle the world! But always know that I will be right here by your side not to hover but to be here if you need me. Happy, happy birthday! I am so blessed to have you in my life! All my love to you today and always!