I Am One of the Parasite Class

 

I have been silent for a while. Partly because I was busy with a show, but also there is so much to write about, where do I start? I have now been off of Facebook for a full month. I can't say I miss it much. I am still on Instagram, and I could slap myself for ever clicking on a Plinko ad. I am not kidding, there is now a Plinko ad every other frame, but that is not what I am writing about today. I have really tried hard not to look at the news for the last month, but I do see some of what's going on in between the Plinko ads. Tonight, I skimmed through some headlines, and I saw that Musk reposted the below meme on "X" with his addition. 

 

Federal Programs? Hmmm. All federal programs, or just the ones you think deserve it? And how could he think that 90% of Americans aren't benefitting in some way from federal programming? And, here's a little insight for people who are dumb enough to think that all of these massive cuts aren't affecting them. Social Security is a federal program, yes, but it's not a hand out from the government. If you have ever worked in your life, there is an amount that is taken out of every paycheck you get for social security. You are paying for that program to help others and so you will have something when you stop working. Of course, most of us cannot even afford to stop working if we were going to receive our "full" benefit. It is not enough to live on, but I digress. I am sure a vast majority of the people who are happy with what is going on right now think that federal programs refers to welfare, as they called it in my younger years or government assistance. You know, the "bums who are too lazy to get a job and live off of the government, the 'parasites'" Well, I was one of those "parasites." I have shared this story before, but for those of you who are new to this blog, at the age of 34, 27 years ago today, I found out that my husband, the love of my life, the sole bread winner (I was a stay-at-home Mom of our 2 children, ages 2 and 5) was having an affair with a co-worker, and my life blew up. I tried my best to change so he would stay with me because I must have done something wrong for him to cheat on me. NOTE: This is what happens in this situation almost always. The party being cheated on believes it is somehow their fault, and the party cheating plays into that and perpetuates it. I hung in there for 4 more months trying my hardest to save my marriage all to come home from a trip away with my children to visit a friend and her family to an empty house with a letter telling me he'd left, and I should get my act together. He didn't just leave us. He left both of his jobs, took the only functioning car, and overdrew the checking account. In the matter of one day, through no fault of my own, I had nothing, less than nothing. I had no job, no money, with overdraft fees piling up because he had taken the full balance of money out of the checking account, no savings and 2 small children to raise. Oh, and lest I forget, when he left his job, we no longer had medical insurance. Think of yourself in that situation. What can you do? How will you live? How will you feed your children? Even if you could get a job, how could you get there? You have no car. If you could get to the job, what do you do with your children? How do you afford daycare? You have no idea where your husband is because he certainly didn't tell you, and even if you found him, he quit both of his jobs, and he has no money to give you. I did the only thing I could. I applied for government assistance and food stamps. Let me tell you, I grew up in a white middle class and later upper middle class home, and I always believed that line that people on welfare are lazy. They don't want to get a job. I was pretty judgy! And here I was using food stamps at the grocery store. I was so embarrassed to use them. I knew everyone was judging me because I had done the exact same thing to others out of ignorance. I found a job within 2 months, not a huge paying job, not even close to the salary my husband had been making, but thanks to the help of family and friends, I was able to work without paying the exorbitant amount it would have cost me to put my children in daycare. When I started the job, my government assistance stopped except for the medical insurance for my children, but I don't know how we would have survived without that assistance for those 2 months. Are there people that play the system? I'm sure there are, but that happens all the time, but those are the few, most are in situations they never thought they would be in. They never thought they would have to rely on the government to support them. They never thought they would have to become a "parasite." In case you don't know the exact definition, here a 2 from Webster's dictionary. The first: an organism living in, on, or with another organism in order to obtain nutrients, grow, or multiply often in a state that directly or indirectly harms the host. 

The second: someone or something that resembles a biological parasite in living off of, being dependent on, or exploiting another while giving little or nothing in return. Notice that the first definition cuts the biological parasite some slack in the highlighted portion, "directly or indirectly," in other words, the biological parasite needs a host to live, and possibly just by living and doing nothing else, they may harm the host. They're not setting out to harm the host, they are simply trying to survive. The second definition of a human parasite gives no leniency, going so far as to use the word, "exploiting," and the phrase "giving little or nothing in return." How very much like that we have become. We show more empathy and understanding to a tick or a tapeworm than a human being. Let me say it louder for those in the back a HUMAN BEING. I was just trying to survive and feed my children, but according to Elon Musk and supposedly 90% of Americans, I was a parasite. Who are we? Who have we become? If you are one of the people who is watching with glee as all these people are losing their jobs, these veterans losing their benefits, people not able to get their medication, just remember, my life changed in 1 day. I went from leading a comfortable life to less than nothing, no home, no car, no job and no money. Be careful, because you might just have to become a parasite to survive.

                                                  

Death Isn't Funny?

 Let me say first for the Grammar Monitors out there, the "?" in the title of this post is intentional. On the rare occasion in an actor's life a role comes along that you just can't pass up. You read the script, and you know this is a role you must play, and if lucky enough to be chosen to play the role, you feel honored and realize the incredible privilege you have to be trusted to bring this role to life and tell this story. If you get one role like that in your whole career (so far, almost 51 years for me, and still going) you're lucky. I felt that way when Dawn Westbrook cast me as Della Brady in The Cake at Richmond Triangle Players back in 2020. Several people heard me say, "If I never do another play again, I'm okay with that because Della is the highpoint of my career." Little did I know, at the time, how prophetic that statement was as we closed in March of 2020, and 3 weeks later the World "closed." Luckily, theatre survived the Pandemic. I can't say it's thriving, but it is certainly striving to become what it once was. I have only been on stage once since playing Della. I understudied and ended up finishing the run in a role in Barefoot in the Park for VaRep. I love Neil Simon, and I had a great time playing the role, but it was short-lived, only about 3 weeks. I haven't auditioned for a lot, and I have been focusing on my acting studio, Amaryllis Studios and mounting and directing our own production of Chess, the Musical last July and Godspell this July. All that to say, I wasn't really planning on doing any acting anytime soon. On December 3rd of last year that all changed. I received an email from Kerrigan Sullivan, the Department Chair for the Performing Arts at Brightpoint Community College with the Subject line: Potential Role. Any actor who is reading this right now knows the little skip your heartbeat takes when you read those words. The email went on to say that they were producing a brand new work and would I be interested in playing the role of Mother. She attached the script. I received the email at 10:10pm. I read the script immediately and sent an email back after midnight accepting the offer. The Play is called WillJee, and I have not been this impressed with something I've read since I read The Cake. The story, the characters, the dialogue is so rooted in reality! I'm sure part of that comes from the fact that it is based on a real situation the playwright went through with is sister when she was diagnosed with cancer. That's a big thing for me. Do I believe these people? Do I relate? this play has a lot of humor, like laugh out loud humor, and that may be surprising to you considering it deals with death and cancer and mental illness, but, as I often say when I am faced with trials, "It's either laugh or cry. I choose to laugh." I'm tickled to pieces that I am getting to do this! A lovely article by Dave Timberline was posted in Style Weekly today. Check it out, and come check out the play. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll laugh while you're crying. It's an amazing piece of theatre, and you will be sorry if you miss it. This one is going places! I'm just glad I get to be a small part of it.

So long, Farewell.....

 It's 12:36AM on 1/21/2025. I just deactivated my Facebook account. I did this for many reasons, and if you are new to following my blog, welcome! The huge push to do this was driven by the absolute madness that will be going on for the next 4 years. I knew if I kept my account, I would scroll through all the mess, and become more and more stressed, and despondent about my life, the lives of my children, and the life of this country. I turned 61 last October, and I can truly say that in all of my years I have never seen anything like this in America. Watching any news, scrolling social media and seeing what's taking place, and what is coming out of people's mouths makes me feel I'm in the Twilight Zone. It is surreal! The hypocrisy is astounding. At some point you wonder if this is all some grand prank, and someone is going to reveal, but it isn't, and I can't stay on a platform that has said that they will no longer fact check posts. It's hard enough watching the craziness and true cult like behavior online or on TV. You can almost convince yourself that it's all for ratings. It isn't real, like the really bad singers on American Idol who have already made it through screenings because the sad fact is people relish in other's failures, and watching some tone deaf person be dismissed from a singing audition makes for good TV. But tonight I was proven wrong. It's not all for show or ratings because a comment appeared on my Facebook post that announced my intent to deactivate, and it wasn't from a troll trying to get a rise out of me or goad me into engaging in an argument online, it was someone that was a friend, and not just a Facebook friend. This was someone that I had been very close to at one time. In all fairness, I know this person is SUPER religious and always has been, and I knew that they were a Trump supporter. The funny thing was that my post did not mention Trump once, but they posted this:

Terri, it is obvious that you are doing what you feel is best for you under the current circumstances. However, there is another side and reaction to today's Inauguration. For me, I feel ADAMANT that today God was honored and glorified! God fulfilled his will and purpose in an overwhelming, unbelievable and miraculous way! No doubt in my mind that God intervened for our country. Donald Trump won over and above what was needed to win. A landslide which left no doubt as to him winning this presidency. The American people voted and this is the result of those votes. This is my voice, my strong  belief that in spite of all the negativity, lies and immorality that became twisted truth were rectified today! Battles of who is right is felt strongly and with a vengeance on both sides. We all have our own beliefs and Godly convictions. This is mine! I have not voiced my feelings in the past to this degree but today is the day. We all handle things differently. I can say for me that I never felt the need to get off Facebook when Biden and Kamala won. I felt just as you do at this moment. However, I chose to handle my disgust, anger and strong emotions by crying out to God to bring a change and bring our country back to God! I respect your decision Terri and wish you the very best!

As I read this comment I became so angry! How can anyone, let alone a professed Christian, think that Donald Trump is the deliverer? I so wanted to comment back, and I actually started to, but I realized that if they were that delusional, nothing I said would mean anything. Anyone who knows me knows that when I am in an argument, I use sarcasm as a defense and not the funny kind, biting sarcasm. It's not a great trait, I know. I get it from my Dad, and, ironically, I hated it when he did it, but I own it. I so wanted to comment on their almost creepy worship of DJT or just comment, "Thou shalt have no other Gods before me." Exodus 20:3. I typed it and deleted it. I did, however react with the crying laughing emoji, and the response "Ok" I then unfriended them and blocked them from contacting me. Some people may think that was harsh, but truthfully, I don't want to be friends with a crazy person, and if they had said those same things to me in person, I would have been looking for the nearest exit and wishing I had a weapon to defend myself. Here's the thing. I am not shocked by anything he does, but it does shock me how much other seemingly sane people let him get away with.

For those who have joined me here for the first time, I promise not all my posts will be like this. That's why I got off of Facebook to not get mired down, right? But it is going to be a space where I can release my thoughts. This blog has been extremely cathartic for me through a lot in my life, and it will continue to be so, but I want to leave all of us with this as I think it is the best advice we all can follow as we navigate these very uncertain times. I'm sure you will recognize it.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

And another plea my daughter prays: Help us to see the Light and be the Light.

Stay strong. Stay safe. Take care of yourself. Namaste.