And Flights of Angels

I said goodbye to a friend today. I first knew Sherry Jeffords Brandmahl as the "cool older girl" in our folk group. We were both raised in the same church, Westhampton United Methodist. Sherry's mother, Beth Jeffords, was my very first choir director, Cherub Choir, I was 3. You had to be in Middle School to be in the folk group, and I was thrilled when I got to sing with the "big kids." I remember thinking how pretty Sherry was, long blond hair and these huge dark eyes and a voice like an angel. Sherry was older than me, so I didn't really hang around with her. I was too little. I did not know at the time, but years later we would meet again and embark on a journey filled with lots of highs and a few lows but a great friendship. I met up with Sherry again in my 20's. We were, again, attending the same church, Discovery United Methodist Church. My husband at the time was the music director, and Sherry was in the choir. The church had 3 services back to back. I always felt like the 8:30 service got cheated on music, so I started a group called "The 8:30 Girls." It was a quartet. I was singing Soprano along with another friend, Janet, and two ladies needed to sing the lower alto parts. I knew I wanted to ask Sherry. She was always a great alto. She agreed, and the group was formed, Me, Janet, Debbie and Sherry. We started practicing, and soon we had quite a repertoire. One Sunday came, and "The 8:30 Girls" were singing at an outdoor service. It was a bright, sunny morning, and all of us wore sunglasses. From that morning on we were known as Shades of Faith. Something special happens when you sing with a group of people. You are creating a sound together. We had rehearsals sometimes where we laughed more than we sang. I loved those days! I was lucky enough to be in two groups with Sherry. In addition to Shades, we were both in a group called Messenger. My Ex was the lead singer, Sherry's brother, Billy, played drums, our associate pastor, Dan, played keyboards and guitar, and 3 ladies sang tight, back-up harmony. Sherry was, you guessed it, our alto. If there was ever a group that could have gone somewhere, it was Messenger. As it often does, life had other plans. At the height of Messenger's journey my husband left me and the church, and just like that, it was over. That brings me to one of my favorite memories of Sherry. My marriage didn't break up in the most amicable way. I came home to an empty house, and I was reeling. I called Dan, and he called Sherry and Bill to come to church so we could break the news. Sherry and Bill came right over. They were right there for me, and Sherry continued to be there for me. She helped me through some of the toughest years of my life. We had long talks. I always knew she was on my side. The last time I saw Sherry was a couple of years ago. She had come with her parents and sister to see a show I was in. I saw them after the show, and Sherry hadn't changed a bit, just as beautiful as ever. Cancer took Sherry away from us last Friday, and today I attended her Standing Room Only funeral. Obviously Sherry touched many lives besides mine. I listened as a good friend of ours, Sandra Bottoms, led a beautiful service. I listened to our dear friend, Donald Coles, sing a song Sherry requested when she knew her path was taking its final turn. It was a comforting song. Just like Sherry to try to comfort me even in her passing. Good bye, sweet friend.

Is Your Tomb Empty?

I sat in church on Easter Sunday, just 2 days ago, and listened to the anthem the choir sang, He Is Not Here. The lyrics are: "He is not here, He is risen. See the tomb is empty where He lay." See the tomb is empty. Tomb is defined as “an enclosure for a corpse cut in the earth or rock.” Not something that is made for escape or exiting. Why would they be made that way? The person in the tomb will not be waking or walking. They are dead. When Mary went to the tomb early that Easter morning, Jesus had been dead since about 3pm on Friday. There was no room for speculation that Jesus might have been alive when He was placed in the tomb, but even if that was the case he was buried for more than a day. When Mary went to the tomb it was empty. That would be the same as if we had buried a loved one and went back to the graveside 2 days after the funeral, and the casket had been unearthed and lay open with no one in it. Pretty freaky stuff. I can’t imagine what I would think or feel. I’m sure my first thought would be the same as Mary’s. Someone has taken the body. Mary couldn’t celebrate the empty tomb. She was too close. She couldn’t see the miracle. We have that privilege. Do we celebrate, though? We may celebrate that Jesus is alive, but that tomb. Jesus conquered death for our freedom but not just spiritual freedom. We fill the tomb over and over again with worry and doubt, hate and fear, self-loathing and mistrust. We cannot celebrate. We can’t even get inside the tomb to see that it’s empty. We are free, if we let ourselves be. His tomb was empty. Let yours be too.

Baseball, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie and.....Mass Shootings

It's been a while since I've posted, but I promised myself when I started this blog that I would post when I felt inspired to write. Yes, I know this is a hot topic right now, and I am not just jumping on the bandwagon, but I think things need to be said. This is not going to be super political. Well, I guess that depends on who is reading this, but here goes. When I was little there was a commercial for Chevrolet that had a jingle. ♪♫Baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet.♫♪ saying, essentially, that Chevrolet was just as American as the other things listed that America is known for. Last week when I heard of yet another school shooting just weeks after 17 people were killed in a mass shooting in Parkland, FL, that jingle popped into my head. Right along with Baseball and Apple Pie, this country is known for mass shootings. I have 2 children. Both are finished with school, and I have to say I am glad, because, like you, I am concerned about the things that are happening more and more frequently. I read one comment after Parkland, and the person wrote that it wasn’t a matter of “if” you would be directly affected by a mass shooting but “when.” That really hit home for me. I work in a preschool, and we have been on lockdown twice since September. No inside threat, but you never know when that will occur. I also read another comment about other countries’ stats on gun violence. We’re doing something wrong. Why don’t we fix it? Now, I’m not saying get rid of all guns. Truthfully, I don’t think anyone is saying that. I grew up with handguns in my home. The only time I ever saw my dad fire it was to shoot a huge snake in the backyard. I have thought of owning my own personal handgun for protection in my home. I am not against gun ownership. I do, however, think it is ludicrous that I must show ID to buy Sudafed, but not a gun. I think that only the military should have the high-powered rifles that are designed to kill as many people as quickly as possible. No one needs a gun that was invented to kill people. They need to go, and NOW!! At the very least, if we are not going to get rid of them, we need to make it nearly impossible to get one. I am proud of the young people who are trying to bring about change, and I am ashamed of the supposed adults who have reverted to name calling and trying to discredit them, going so far as to claim they are actors. Give me a break! This is a real problem, and if we don’t do something about it soon, our young people will be the next things on the endangered species list.

A Little Less

I am sitting in my living room at 10:50 PM on New Year's Day with a little less. Usually "less" gives a negative connotation, and some of my "less" is negative. I have a little less money than last year, less time off, but I also have less debt, less stress and less sickness. This past Christmas, more than any other in recent years, I bought less. I'm not sure if it was because some counted on money didn't come through, or I found just the right things, but I knew I didn't have the money, and I made it work. Thanks to my little angel, Georgi, the house was clean, and we were able to enjoy all of our Christmas decorations, 3 trees and lighted garland on the mantle. I didn't feel rushed, and I probably had less time to prepare for Christmas this year than I have in years. What was the difference? I'm pretty sure I was happy this year, not that I haven't been happy in years before this year, I have, but I always let a lot of negative crap get in the way. It's amazing when you look back on something from a different place. The things I used to let bother me were so petty. I know. I'm rambling, but I guess what I'm trying to say is no matter what is going on around you life is what you make it. Yes, I realize that is cliche', and I've heard it thousands of times, but I really lived it this year. I can choose to be happy or not, and I'm sorry to say, for years I let myself be unhappy. I chose to focus on the negative and complain about it. Sorry girls! I'm not really a resolution type girl, but I am resolving that in 2018 I will try to be positive, and at the very least I will not dwell on the negative. Some very profound losses happened in 2017 that really made me think about what is important. Time is fleeting, and I am determined to make the most of it even if it's with a little less.

What Has She Got That I Ain't Got?.....COURAGE!

In about 7 hours my oldest daughter will step onto a stage in New York City to sing. About a month ago she went to New York to audition for a Showcase. For those of you not in the theatre world, a showcase is an event where several people perform to exhibit their talent for casting directors and sometimes agents. She made it into the showcase, a feat in itself, and yesterday at 8AM I dropped her off at the bus station to start her 3 day whirlwind adventure. I have blogged before that my oldest wants to be an actress. So did I at her age (25). Heck, I still do! I'm 54. But she has one thing I really didn't. One thing that will propel her at least half of the way, COURAGE! I would have been scared to death to get on a bus all by myself and travel to the Big City and venture out alone to find my audition site, my performance venue, my whatever. And this isn't the first time she's done it. I know it's the way you have to be in the business, and I am so glad that she got that fearlessness, from where I don't know. It's not in my genes. It is killing me that I can't be there to hear her New York debut, but I know she will kick ass because she wants to! I love you more than anything, sweet girl. This is just the beginning of great, great things! Break a leg and "Sing out, Louise!"

Still, Still, Still

Something happened Friday that made me "take pause," to speak in old fashioned terms. It snowed. Now, it's no secret that I LOVE snow! I always have. I joke and say if I ever get married again, I want it to be in the snow under a full moon. Don't worry. You won't have to go out and buy a formal overcoat anytime soon. (cue rim shot) In all seriousness, snow is magical! Amazingly everything gets quiet. I was driving home in it, and the roads weren't bad yet. It was just falling, and the trees were covered, and it truly looked like a Winter Wonderland. Because of that, this entire weekend I have felt relaxed, not rushed, not obsessed with what has to be done, not running around too busy preparing for a season making it impossible for me to enjoy. 8 years ago I was in a lovely production of  A Christmas Carol that included the carol, Still, Still, Still. I had never heard it before singing it in the show. Part of the lyrics are "Still, still, still, one can hear the falling snow." You have to be still to hear snow falling, not running or rushing around. Friday's snowfall let me be "still." Being still reminded me that this season is about joy! I am happier than I have been in a long time! I am so blessed, and I am going to take time to be still and be thankful for my joy. Can you hear the snow falling?

A Little Message from Kroger

About a week ago I received a pack of coupons from Kroger. You know, the ones that they send you that are actually useful because they are tracking what you're buying using your loyalty card. Here's the thing. They were addressed to Ralph Moore but here at my address. Ralph Moore is my father, and today is the 10th Anniversary of his death. I know all kinds of things are stored in data bases, and things can get mixed up, and my father and I have shared the same address, but I have not lived at that address for 6 years. I have only lived at my present address for a year and a half. How did his name get attached to this address, and how did it get linked to my Kroger card? And right now you're thinking, "why all this tadoo about some coupons? Here's why. I don't think it was a computer glitch at all. I think it was my Daddy's way of letting me know he's still around, and he hasn't really left me totally alone. I've written about my dad before, but I'm not sure I've shared what I'll share today. My dad had a hard life growing up. He was the youngest of I think 7 brothers and sisters. His dad died when he was 3. They were dirt poor living in a tiny town in Georgia. He had one eye that was severely crossed, and he never had any surgery to correct it. As I'm sure you can imagine, that invited a lot of teasing. He dropped out of high school because of, what we would label bullying today, not because he was scared, but he didn't want to be involved in the fights anymore. He was smart as a whip, and I know, given the chance, he could have had every degree available. Life just never gave him the chance. I got the feeling from talking to him that no one was really in his corner rooting for him, encouraging him or even pushing him to his potential. For all of that background, he could have been nothing, but he wasn't. The first memories I have of my dad were of him working for NCR - National Cash Register - He repaired cash registers. He was on the cutting edge of technology as NCR sent him to school to learn about the way the "new" computerized cash registers would work. Consequently, he knew more about computers than anyone I knew. He could always figure it out. He had that kind of brain. That makes him sound analytical and cold, but he was anything but. He would cry at the littlest things that touched him. He was probably the biggest reason I have such a sensitive side. I joke all the time that I cry at a Hallmark commercial. The biggest thing I want the world to know about my dad was that he was always in my corner. He believed in me and everything I wanted to do. He always supported me from the time I was singing in the Cherub choir at age 3 to attending the numerous shows I was in until his health prevented him from doing so.  Until the day he died, he was trying to get me to send a tape of me singing, and then in later years, me and my girls singing together to someone because he just knew we would be famous. A good part of who I am is because of my dad. Through everything, good and bad, I knew he loved me ALWAYS! I miss him a lot, but I know he's around. He just used Kroger to remind me. LOVE YOU, DADDY!
Note: I started writing this on 11/16, the true anniversary.