Your heart is there! Follow it!

This past weekend I went to see a production of "West Side Story" It was a high school production, and normally I wouldn't go see a high school production unless I knew someone in it. Well, I did know someone in this production, my daughter. My baby was playing Anita. Readers of this blog know that I have been doing theatre since the age of 10, and I love it. When you have children, you hope that they will have similar interests, and you hold out hope that they might even follow in your footsteps. You weigh that with the concern that they may want to follow, but don't have the talent to do so. Luckily both my children have a talent for what they love, so I had no problem encouraging them being careful not to push. God forbid I would ever be thought of as a stage mom! I have seen my youngest do other roles starting in Elementary school, but this time was different. I knew as I watched her take command of every moment she spent on the stage that I was getting a glimpse of greatness. I know that might sound braggy, and I don't mean it to be. It was just that I was so incredibly proud!!! and amazed that this very talented young woman I was watching was my daughter. She was so natural! She wasn't my baby. She WAS Anita! She's only 17, but I would put her portrayal up against any professional actress I've seen. Here's the thing. She doesn't know how good she is. I guess in some ways that's a good thing. I wouldn't want her to be conceited or a diva, but I want her to know just how very gifted she is. There are people who will take classes for years, and never be able to master the pure acting instinct she has. Wasn't it Spencer Tracy who said that acting should never look like acting? If it was, then he would have been very proud of her performance. As her time in high school comes to an end we have been discussing plans after school. The audition process is daunting, to put it mildly, and there is nothing that makes her more nervous than auditioning, but I would hate for her to hold back from going after something she is clearly qualified to do because of fear. I would hate for her to miss out, but more than that I would hate for the world to never see just where she can go. "All of our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." ~ Walt Disney 

Look for the Helpers

Yesterday something terrible happened! People were hurt and some even died. To add to this, the people that were in harm's way were there because they were celebrating an event. They were there to encourage, to help, to cheer on others. In an instant, all that joy turned to sorrow and confusion and devastation, as not one, but two explosions went off at the Finish line of the Boston Marathon, an iconic race, that has been in existence since 1897. As I saw the headline come up in my newsfeed on Facebook, I immediately thought, BOMB. Unfortunately this is the first conclusion we all jump to, someone meant to do this. Someone sat down and calculated fear and causing injury to another human being. I stopped myself, praying that maybe it had been a gas explosion, no less tragic for those lost or injured, but easier to accept the fact that no one was behind something so horrible. But...as news reports started to roll in, my first fear was confirmed. They were bombs. The first question we always have is WHY? We feel confused, hurt. Then it transforms to outrage and anger at the world and the evil in it. I felt all of those things yesterday, and then I read this post by a friend. It was a picture of the beloved children's program host, Fred Rogers, with a quote from him. Here is the quote: "When I was a boy, and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother's words, and I am always comforted by realizing that are still so many helpers -  so many caring people in this world."  Evil exists. It always will, but so does good! And that's what we have to hold onto. It is the only thing we can hold onto. Another very wise man said this, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr. What happened yesterday was awful! It wasn't fair, it wasn't right, but we cannot dwell on that. Instead we have to focus on healing and helping people cope to somehow move on. Don't give up! Look for the helpers!

In Memory

I have used this blog several times to write tributes, sometimes for celebrities that I admire who have passed on, sometimes family, and several for my girls, but today is a little bit different. Today I write one for someone who hasn't really been a part of my life for the past 15 years, but before that played a huge role in my day to day living. The man I'm writing about today is my ex-father-in-law. Divorce is a weird thing. I've never really known how to deal with the extended relationships. It's not like because you're divorced you can just turn off your feeling for the people who were your second set of parents for 15 years. So, today when I found out that he passed away, I cried because I did love him, and he loved me like I was one of his own. I married when I was very young, and I remember the day that I was going to meet "the parents" I was really nervous because I knew how much my ex-husband valued his parent's opinion, especially his father's. We made the long drive out to the country where they lived. I was 16 years old and a city girl. I had no idea what to expect. We spent most of the day there and we talked with his family the whole time. Before lunch, during lunch, after lunch, right up until we left. I remember saying on the trip home that I felt bad that I had kept them from whatever they needed to do. They shouldn't have felt like they needed to entertain me all day. The response was that that was business as usual. I would make that trek up that country road many times over the next 17 years, and he and I would have hundreds of "talks" and yes, sometimes arguments but not "fights." We didn't see eye to eye on a lot of issues, and we were both just as stubborn as the other and would keep arguing trying to get the other to come to our side. Truth be told, I think sometimes he would just pick the other side whether he had a strong feeling about it or not to challenge me. He certainly enjoyed a discussion, even when it got heated, but the great thing was, he respected me for what I thought, and I respected him. There was no, "Well, if you don't believe what I believe, you're an idiot." He didn't hold a college degree, but he knew so much. He loved music, and, more times than once on my visits, he would pull out the guitar to sing but not in a grandiose way. His son is quite a talented singer, and they would harmonize together. He would always try to get me to sing with them, but because it was mostly country music, something I didn't really listen to very much, I knew only a few, but I would sing those. It was very comfortable to be in his presence. He never made anyone feel less than he was. He loved his wife and his family fiercely. He was someone who would always have your back and as honest as the day is long, even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear. (He and I are a lot alike in that department). He had a fabulous, dry sense of humor,  and he could give you a look that spoke volumes, and he never took crap from ANYBODY. He was a handsome, rugged man's man. I always thought he resembled Robert Mitchum. True to his nature, he called the shots right until the very end choosing to stop anymore surgeries and heroic, vain efforts to keep him living. He lost his war today, but oh what a battle he waged. He will be missed, but what a relief that his suffering is over. And maybe, just maybe, he and my dad will be playing poker tonight.

In the Name of Love

Yesterday marked an anniversary of sorts. I hesitate to use the term anniversary, because that always indicates celebration to me. This was not the kind of anniversary one would celebrate. Yesterday was April 4th. See if these lyrics by U2 jog your memory:
                         Early morning, April 4th
                         Shot rings out in the Memphis sky
                         Free at last, they took your life
                         They could not take your pride
Bono was, of course, talking about Martin Luther King, Jr. who was assassinated on that day in 1968. I remember several years ago when my oldest daughter was in elementary school and we were studying for her end of the year "Standard of Learning" tests. She had some flash cards, and the one side of the card said, "He was one of the most influential people in the Civil Rights movement." She gave the correct response, "Martin Luther King" Me, being the kind of parent I am, I didn't stop there. I asked her a question that wasn't on the little cards. "What is the Civil Rights Movement?" She didn't know. They hadn't been taught that. The powers that be in charge of testing had decided that all of this man's wonderful, history changing work should be boiled down to a sound byte. Well, this parent wasn't letting it stay that way. After we had a brief discussion about what the Civil Rights Movement was, I then, through the amazing tool that is the Internet, pulled up a video of the famous "I Have a Dream" speech. That day she learned WHY he was "one of the most influential people in the Civil Rights Movement." Like so many other great men and women who have tried to bring about change for the good and betterment of mankind, their life was ended because of what they stood for. Yet, they had the courage to fight for that change no matter what the threat or consequence. Another person who fought for the right peacefully, Mahatma Ghandi, said this, "Be the change you want to see in the world." How many of us have the courage to be that change?