Phoenix Rising

Recently I had the opportunity to meet a wonderful young man. I had the privilege of watching him perform. He had it all, the quintessential triple threat. He could sing. He could dance, and he could act. Often times when one is so talented, especially at a young age, they are less than humble. Not the case with this young man, he was humble and polite, and he had a genuineness about him. I liked him immediately, and that is not usually the case with me. When watching someone like that, I think we tend to believe that they must have a great life, look at how happy and full of joy they seem. I was amazed to find that this young man had not had such a perfect life, and had dealt with his share of adversity. Yet, here he was, this example of everything life had to offer. It made me stop and look at my own life and the lives of my girls. If you would ask most of the people who have crossed my path whether briefly or for a lifetime, most would say that I am a very upbeat person. I have a positive attitude. I smile A LOT, and I am known for my hearty laugh. No one would guess that my life has been dotted, from infancy almost, with the consuming fire of challenge and tragedy. Now, before I even continue, let me say that this is not a blog about gaining pity or sympathy from anyone. My first brush with adversity, admitting that I cannot remember, came when I was 6 months old. I clinically died having stopped breathing from a serious bout with pneumonia. That was in 1963, and no parents took courses in infant CPR. My father did the only thing he could think of to get me to start breathing. He held me upside down by my feet and struck me on the back, and I began to breathe. First fire extinguished. I rose out of those ashes and started into childhood, a great one, and then at the age of 11, I was in a terrible car accident and the back passenger side window exploded in my face resulting in over 100 stitches in my forehead, nose and right eyelid. Oh, did I mention all I ever wanted to be was an actress, and entertainer? This second fire would be a little harder to overcome. It would bring years of surgeries and teasing, but I continued to rise above the challenges and endure the pain of surgery all the while still auditioning every chance I got. I continued to get work, even landing a modeling job for a newspaper print ad at the age of 20, just 9 years after the accident. In 1991, I lost my first child to miscarriage. I was devastated by this fire, but still came through and went on to have two beautiful children. And finally in 1998 I would face the worst fire of all. My marriage of 15 years to my high school sweetheart and the love of my life ended when he walked out after months of having an affair leaving me with nothing. Surely this would be the fire that would consume me totally. There was no way of rising out of these ashes, but I did. It really is true. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I was determined not to let this last fire leave me in nothing but burned memories and broken pieces. I had two little girls to raise. Two little girls, now 17 and 20, who have become a phoenix in their own lives and like the young man that I met, have grown into bright and talented young women with every opportunity the world has to offer despite the fire that began their lives. If you are reading this and you are walking through your own fire right now, know that you can get through it, and you, like all of us, will rise out of the ashes a beautiful bird ready to soar.