Some Days Are Hard

Anyone who knows me or reads this blog with any regularity knows that I am an actor. I relish in being on stage and performing. I have been blessed to have been able to work pretty consistently since I started over 40 years ago, and in this past year I have stayed busier than usual. Right now I am doing a Christmas show, and I am very thankful because singing those Christmas songs for audiences night after night is helping fund a nicer Christmas for me and my girls. All is well, right? Wrong! When you are in a family of performers, as all 3 of us are, sometimes things conflict. Today was one of those days. It is very hard to be an actor and a mom. Ever since I became a single parent when my girls were 2 and 5, I have tried to be at every event in their lives. Every field day, school play, awards assemblies, winter and spring programs and chorus concerts. Most of the time I have made it. I can think of one other thing I missed, my oldest daughter's dance recital, but I did see the dress rehearsal. I missed that because of performing too. Today I missed my baby's final high school Christmas chorus concert because I was on stage myself 45 minutes away. She, of course, was very understanding and knows it was unavoidable, but it still didn't make it any easier for me that I missed my girl as she sang at her final Christmas concert. I will see a DVD, but it's not quite the same thing. I was not there to yell as she finished and clap louder than any other person. So today I write this to tell her how much I love her and I know that she rocked today! And to let her know how very grateful I am that she is so supportive
of my life in the theatre. I love you sweet girl! Thanks, as always, for understanding!

Where Are You, Christmas?

I was listening to the radio the other day and heard one of my new favorite Christmas songs by Faith Hill. It's called Where Are You, Christmas?, and it was written for the soundtrack of the 2000 film,  How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Ron Howard's spin on the classic tale by Dr. Seuss. Unlike the book, much of the film centers around Cindy Lou Who and her quest for what Christmas is all about. The song is sung by her character in the film. The first lyrics are: Where are you, Christmas?
               Why can't I find you?
               Why have you gone away?
               Where is the laughter you used to bring me?
               Why can't I hear music play?
I must confess that I have felt much like Cindy Lou Who this year. You would think that given the fact that I am performing in a "Christmas" show that I would be more in the Christmas spirit than any other year, but I'm just not. Somewhere along the way, I lost the wonder and excitement. Maybe part of it is the fact that every day, almost every moment is filled with something I have to do instead of something I want to do. I am usually the first to jump on the Christmas band wagon. Day after Thanksgiving my tree is up and decorated. My flag is out front. My wreath is on the door. Not this year! My tree is up and the lights on, but that is it, and it's sitting in the midst of my messy house. Now, to cut myself a little slack, we ran out of time to decorate before my oldest daughter had to be back at college after the Thanksgiving break, and so we have held off to do it as a family, but Christmas is creeping closer and closer. We have 14 days before the big day. If I decorated it tonight it would only be up for two weeks before it all was over. When did decorating for Christmas become a chore? Time was when I couldn't wait to decorate the tree! Where are you, Christmas? Why do I jam my life so full of going here and having to be there that I have no time to just enjoy what I used to love? Why can't I find you? I was watching a little Christmas movie last night, and it took place in a small, quaint little town. That's what I want! I want to live in the movies. I want to live in Bedford Falls or Stars Hollow, but I don't, so what do I do?
Today a company called Westjet propelled me, no pun intended, out of my funk and into what Christmas is all about, the spirit of giving. Watch the video below.

What an amazing thing this company did to bring joy to these families! Where are you, Christmas? Westjet knows. They found you and brought you to others, and that's what I need to remember! Thank you for reminding me that it's not about me! The joy of Christmas is found in the giving of myself to others.