Say Something.

When I started this blog almost 4 years ago, I didn't know what kind of writer I was. I didn't even know if I could write. And if I could, would anyone want to read it? To my surprise I have had many people tell me that they like my writing, and I am flattered to say the least, but I think there is a reason that my blog has met with approval and enjoyment by the reader. I decided when I started that I would not just write to be writing but that I would only write when inspired. Sometimes that inspiration has come out in the form of rants, sometimes humor, sometimes fond memories and tributes to those I love, but I always have something to say that means something to me and so, I assume, strikes a chord in others. This post will be no different.
It is no secret that I love music. I love to sing it! I love to listen to it, and play it, although I wish I was better at the latter. But music, whatever form it takes, can be so powerful! I have been moved to tears at its beauty, rocked out to it blaring out of my car speakers with the windows down, and used it to calm both of my girls when they were babies. Who doesn't feel a sense of longing when they hear Judy Garland sing those beautiful words, "If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, why, oh, why can't I?" or terror when you hear those low strains of the cello slow at first and then faster and faster adding tympani as the shark is approaching? Years ago I saw the Disney film, Up. If you saw the film, you know where I am going, and right now, your mind is hearing that ragtime style piano, and your eyes are welling with tears. For those who have not seen it, the beginning of the film contains a montage of pictures underscored by Michael Giaccino's music. The montage spans a couple's life together, their highs and lows, and as all sweet love stories, it must come to an end. When I saw the film I cried like a baby, but later I was in the room when my girls were watching. I was faced away from the screen putting my make-up on, and I had to make them turn the film off because simply hearing the music was stirring up that sadness again, and I began to cry. Wimp that I am or glutton for punishment, whichever you prefer, I just pulled up that piece of music on YouTube to play while I am writing, and I had to take my glasses off because I am sitting here crying. All of this to say, music has IMMENSE power over us.

I was recently introduced to a new song by A Great Big World called Say Something. It is so simple but incredibly moving. It begins with the pounding of a single note on the piano, slowly chords are added and finally strings. Nothing grandiose, nothing driving, the melody by itself sounds lonely, but then the vocals begin, "Say something. I'm giving up on you." As the song goes on it tells a story. Like many great songs, it is about a relationship. This particular relationship is obviously one sided. One half has given up long ago, but the other half has been striving to fight enough for both, holding on with everything they have. This song speaks to the last desperate attempt of the fighter begging for a reason to stay because they just can't fight any longer without a shred of hope to cling to. "Say something." Give me a reason to stay. It is sad and beautiful in its desperation. I cannot express how much this song resonates with me. When my marriage first started to hit the rocks almost 16 years ago, I was that desperate 1/2 fighting to hold on to something, trying to keep the vessel afloat with only me to bail the water, finally drowning as it sank lower and lower and begging for a hand to reach and pull me out so that the marriage could be whole once more. This song describes exactly the way I felt then. And even though I don't want my marriage back it reminded me how very real the hurt was all those years ago. It also made me realize that sometimes, no matter how hard you try, or how much you give, it will never be enough because for a relationship to work, both people have to want it.
Music feeds our souls. It shows us who we are. It lifts us up when we are down and sometimes expresses, better than we ever could, our sorrow. And even if words fail me, music will always...say something.

Ramma Lamma Ding Dong Forever!

Since October of 2013 I have been involved with an original theatre production called A Lugnuts Christmas. We began rehearsals on October 21st and we just closed the show last Sunday, January 5th, 2014. It was a small cast of 6, so you can imagine that we got to know each other pretty well. I had worked with and known 2 of the members of the cast for years, but the other three were brand new to me. As an actor, there are many times that you do shows, and there is at least one person who is difficult to be around, to put it mildly. Not so in this case. We all got along GREAT! Rehearsals were challenging, to say the least. Learning 4 and 6 part harmony is not easy, especially for this gal. I have sung soprano in choir all of my life for a reason, it's the melody. I found my self singing every part but Bass in this show and many times I felt inadequate which brings me to the first person I want to mention in this post, our musical director and arranger, Jason Marks. Jason was beyond patient with all of us, and if it had not been for him, this show would have fallen flat on it's face. His arrangements were beautiful and the harmonies were tight. My personal favorite was What Child is This? He spent countless hours laying down rehearsal tracks for us, making orchestrations that would rival any live orchestra or band, and finally plunking out our parts over and over again. Jason, you will never know how much I appreciated you, and I am sure my cast mates would feel the same!
As the title reveals, this was a Christmas show. GEEK ALERT!! When I was a teenager and it would snow, I would wander outside and walk in the softly falling snow, and sing Christmas songs pretending I was filming a Christmas Special, a la Andy Williams or Perry Como or Bing Crosby. I know, lame, right? I have also said often that if I ever get enough money to record an album, it will be a Christmas album. Suffice it to say, I love Christmas and Christmas music! I grew up watching those family Christmas specials, so you can imagine that I was thrilled to be able to be in one of those Christmas Specials just live and on stage. All that being said, the thing that made this experience wonderful for me was the people.
We started rehearsal with an incomplete cast. We were missing our high tenor. Boy, were we lucky when Steve Travers walked through the door! Not only did he have the voice of an angel, he could sight read like a mad man, a big plus for this show! On top of that, he's a pretty nice guy, and I am so glad to have a new friend!
Before rehearsals even began, I found out I would get to work with 2 guys that I have known forever. The first was Eric Williams. I have known Eric since 1975. He was in the very first professional show I ever did, The Music Man, at Swift Creek Mill Playhouse. I was 10. Okay, put away your calculators. I'm 50. Eric is just a shade older, but you'd never know it to look at him. He hasn't changed a bit, and I mean that. He looks exactly the same. Amazingly as much as both of us work in Richmond Theatre, Lugnuts was the first show we had done together since '75. Eric is also the nicest person I have ever known, and I mean that sincerely! I have never seen him when he was not smiling. He is supportive and loving and never has a mean thing to say about anyone or anything! It was a joy to see him 5 times a week. The second was Ford Flannagan. I have known Ford since 1986. We did a show together at Theatre IV called Scapino. Ford's comic skills are unmatched, on stage and off. He is quick witted and always has a great comeback for everything. Ford surprised me when we did a show together a few years ago for Stage 1 called Nor mal. I had always seen Ford do comedy, but he kicked major ass in a very serious role of a father to an anorexic daughter. I was privileged to work beside him. I had the wonderful fortune to work with him twice this year in To Kill a Mockingbird and Lugnuts with Va-Rep. Ford worked his tail off learning the music for this show, and it was evident. He played the character of "Moe", and I kidded that "Moe" was my character's favorite. Aside from his amazing talent, Ford is a true gentleman and an all-around nice guy. I got to know Ford a little bit better personally this show, and I am really glad I did.
The other two people rounding out the cast were Jody Ashworth and Mandy Williams. I had seen Jody in a few shows but had never worked with him on stage. Jody is an AMAZING bass, and he was the foundation that made all the Doo Wop just incredible! It is hard to find a good bass, but it is impossible to find a bass that sings with the authority that Jody does. His low notes are the kind that make your toes tingle. I was also lucky to add Jody to my list of friends, and he and I were always the last ones out of the dressing room. Truth be told, he probably could have gotten out earlier, but was nice enough to hang around so I wouldn't have to walk to my car by myself. Mandy came to us from New York. If I had to use one word to describe Mandy, it would be vivacious! She came in full of energy and ready to dive in. She was very easy going and easy to work with. Certainly no drama there. And every night when she sang "Let Me In" with the boys, she took us to church! Hallelujah! And for one week I got to work with Ben Houghton who came in to replace the vacationing Steve. I don't know how you did it, buddy, but you did it well! I hope we get to work together again.
No show is complete without crew. It is a blessing to have a great crew to support us. Without them we would be nothing. Kim Pawlick was a wonderful stage manager. I was shocked to find out at the cast party that she is only 18. She definitely has a future in this capacity, she was amazing. This was not an easy show for the stage manager as she is the Jill of all trades at the Tavern, sound cues, light cues, and microphones, she did it all flawlessly! And my beloved little Snowbear, Katie Peterson who knows how to shake tail, Snowbear tail that is. Thanks for making sure I was attired properly every night to hula!
Last but not least, I have to thank Bruce Miller, our director, for bringing us all together. Obviously we were a good fit because we didn't have a show that did not get a spontaneous standing ovation every night. People  had a great time, and that's what it's really about. People laughed and sang along and tapped their feet and smiled. We, as actors, couldn't ask for anything more.

An Addendum to My Previous Post

Since I wrote my New Year's post at 2:30 AM this morning, I am not surprised that I left something out. In the fall of 2013 my oldest went through a very challenging and stressful journey to play a dream role, Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors. Very few of us get to play dream roles and often when we get our dreams there is always something that tarnishes them. So was the case for her. But through it all she persevered and came out on top and gave a kick-ass performance in spite of all who tried to stand in her way. She proved to me through that experience that she has the drive to pursue this crazy dream of becoming an actor!

2013...An Amazing Year!

We've been in 2014 for about 2 1/2 hours, so I decided to sit down and write about my 2013 and maybe put a little bit out there about some things I might expect in 2014. I started 2013 doing something I love and I ended it the same way. I had the incredible fortune to get a call last January from a wonderful director that I had never had the opportunity to work with, Steve Perigard. He was directing Noel Coward's Hayfever for Va-Rep, and the actress playing the maid, Clara, had to drop out of the show. He was asking me if I'd like to do it. Well, of course I said yes, and thus began my year acting. It was a wonderful experience, and more importantly I made some amazing new friends. In the spring I took over the role of audience member and saw my baby tear up the role of Anita in her high school's production of West Side Story. Saying I was a proud mother would be an understatement. In the beginning of May I celebrated two things, my oldest having an incredible freshman year in college and the fact that I survived a year of not having her at home. In the summer I took a little break from the stage to watch both of my girls in productions of their own. In July I found out that I had been cast in one of my all time favorites, To Kill a Mockingbird, again with Va-Rep. We had a long rehearsal process and opened in September. It was a fabulous experience, and I got to meet Mary Badham, the Oscar nominated actress who played Scout in the film, a real treat for this film geek! When Mockingbird closed I went right into rehearsal, again for Va-Rep, for A Lugnuts Christmas, an original musical. That's how I closed out my year, and I will also start 2014 acting thanks to Va-Rep as Lugnuts runs for one more week. I have worked more as an actress this year than I have in my 40 year career, and I hope it will continue in 2014!
There were also some incredible losses in 2013. The person I called my father-in-law for 15 years lost his battle with several health issues, and left this world on his own terms. Shortly after his 50th birthday, my cousin left us quite unexpectedly, the victim of a pulmonary embolism. It really made me view my own mortality as he was one of the healthiest people I knew.
What will 2014 hold? For one I will watch my baby turn 18 in exactly one month from today. She will also graduate from high school, and I will officially become an empty nester, a little scary for me. This particular year will hold some rough challenges for me, but I have faith that God has always had a plan for me, and I will get through. "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer. 29:11