Say Something.

When I started this blog almost 4 years ago, I didn't know what kind of writer I was. I didn't even know if I could write. And if I could, would anyone want to read it? To my surprise I have had many people tell me that they like my writing, and I am flattered to say the least, but I think there is a reason that my blog has met with approval and enjoyment by the reader. I decided when I started that I would not just write to be writing but that I would only write when inspired. Sometimes that inspiration has come out in the form of rants, sometimes humor, sometimes fond memories and tributes to those I love, but I always have something to say that means something to me and so, I assume, strikes a chord in others. This post will be no different.
It is no secret that I love music. I love to sing it! I love to listen to it, and play it, although I wish I was better at the latter. But music, whatever form it takes, can be so powerful! I have been moved to tears at its beauty, rocked out to it blaring out of my car speakers with the windows down, and used it to calm both of my girls when they were babies. Who doesn't feel a sense of longing when they hear Judy Garland sing those beautiful words, "If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, why, oh, why can't I?" or terror when you hear those low strains of the cello slow at first and then faster and faster adding tympani as the shark is approaching? Years ago I saw the Disney film, Up. If you saw the film, you know where I am going, and right now, your mind is hearing that ragtime style piano, and your eyes are welling with tears. For those who have not seen it, the beginning of the film contains a montage of pictures underscored by Michael Giaccino's music. The montage spans a couple's life together, their highs and lows, and as all sweet love stories, it must come to an end. When I saw the film I cried like a baby, but later I was in the room when my girls were watching. I was faced away from the screen putting my make-up on, and I had to make them turn the film off because simply hearing the music was stirring up that sadness again, and I began to cry. Wimp that I am or glutton for punishment, whichever you prefer, I just pulled up that piece of music on YouTube to play while I am writing, and I had to take my glasses off because I am sitting here crying. All of this to say, music has IMMENSE power over us.

I was recently introduced to a new song by A Great Big World called Say Something. It is so simple but incredibly moving. It begins with the pounding of a single note on the piano, slowly chords are added and finally strings. Nothing grandiose, nothing driving, the melody by itself sounds lonely, but then the vocals begin, "Say something. I'm giving up on you." As the song goes on it tells a story. Like many great songs, it is about a relationship. This particular relationship is obviously one sided. One half has given up long ago, but the other half has been striving to fight enough for both, holding on with everything they have. This song speaks to the last desperate attempt of the fighter begging for a reason to stay because they just can't fight any longer without a shred of hope to cling to. "Say something." Give me a reason to stay. It is sad and beautiful in its desperation. I cannot express how much this song resonates with me. When my marriage first started to hit the rocks almost 16 years ago, I was that desperate 1/2 fighting to hold on to something, trying to keep the vessel afloat with only me to bail the water, finally drowning as it sank lower and lower and begging for a hand to reach and pull me out so that the marriage could be whole once more. This song describes exactly the way I felt then. And even though I don't want my marriage back it reminded me how very real the hurt was all those years ago. It also made me realize that sometimes, no matter how hard you try, or how much you give, it will never be enough because for a relationship to work, both people have to want it.
Music feeds our souls. It shows us who we are. It lifts us up when we are down and sometimes expresses, better than we ever could, our sorrow. And even if words fail me, music will always...say something.