Norman Would Be Proud

Tonight I gathered with a group I like to call a second family at the November Theater. You couldn't really call it a party, and it wasn't for a show, although the audience was filled with show people. The group was the Richmond Theatre Community, and we gathered to say goodbye and remember and honor one of our own, Andy Boothby. Andy left us way to soon this past Tuesday. He and I were born the same year only 8 months apart. He was older. He wouldn't want me to share that, but he was. When I heard the news, I couldn't believe it. Obviously I was not the only one shocked as several friends tonight shared the same sentiment. You kind of just thought he would always be around. His was a light you couldn't imagine going out, but it did, and it rocked all of our worlds. As I often do, when I am moved, I take to blogging. When I heard about Andy, I couldn't blog because I was in tech week for a show. Andy would totally understand that, and it wouldn't bother him in the least. He was an actor, and a damn good one! The first time I saw Andy on stage was when he played Tito in Lend Me a Tenor at Swift Creek Mill. He was wonderful, and I remember thinking, "Who is this new guy?" The first show I did with him was an adaptation of The Phantom of the Opera also at Swift Creek. This was the first time I heard the phrase,"Norman, I believe we shall give them a good one tonight!" We didn't appear on stage together again until we did A Christmas Carol at Theatre IV. He was playing Ghost of Christmas Present, a fitting role for Andy as he consumed life and all its joys. Those were the only 2 shows Andy and I did together, but every time I would see him I could always count on a hug and a kiss. I saw Andy in several shows, but my favorite performance was his role as the boyfriend in Hanover Tavern's On Golden Pond . It was such a departure from Andy's real life persona. He played him with nervousness, and vulnerability perfectly. He was superb! The last time I saw Andy was about 9 months ago. He did me a favor and spent a day with a bunch of high school kids judging a forensics competition. We shared lunch and conversation and of course a hug and a kiss. I didn't know it would be the last one I would receive. Maybe I would have held on a little longer. If you ever did a show with Andy, at places you would hear him bellow, "Norman, I believe we shall give them a good one tonight!" Andy, you did give them a good one on stage and off and Norman would have been proud!

Children Will Listen

In 1990 I was brought in as a last minute replacement as Jack's Mom in Into the Woods at Swift Creek Mill Playhouse. The actress playing her had to leave the cast, and Tom Width called me to ask me to come audition. I got the part. It was daunting to say the least as I was coming into the rehearsal process late, and if you know anything about Sondheim, that is no easy task. The cast welcomed me, and it was my entrance back into professional theatre after a very long hiatus. That show changed me in many ways, but I was 22, and I don't know if I truly appreciated the show's themes as I do now at 55. Through the last 33 years there have been many situations that have arisen that I have thought of the wisdom of Stephen Sondheim's lyrics, especially from Into the Woods. The running theme is "be careful what you wish for," but so many other things come up as he tells the story. Each thing we do affects someone else, although we may not see it at the time. Often times we make selfish choices that end up leaving someone else's life in ruins. The beautiful Julie Fulcher-Davis played the Witch in our production. Julie is a passionate actress and an even more passionate person. In the show her character sings a song called Children Will Listen. SPOILER ALERT: She sings the song while grieving the loss of her only child. The really sad part is that ultimately her daughter's death happened as a result of  the wheels she set in motion. To hear Julie sing it would make your heart break. The song begins:
              "Careful the things you say, children will listen.
              Careful the things you do, children will see and learn.."
I have pretty much kept this blog out of the hard political arena, but tomorrow is an extremely important day in the life of our country, and truthfully, our lives. I have watched over the past 2 years with disgust, fear, and shock at the horrible things that have become commonplace in our society. I have watched as hate has been encouraged and allowed to thrive, even stoked. I have watched awful things happen that I never thought I would see in my own country, let alone the fact that my government was on the side of the bad guys. I kept thinking, there's no way this can go on. There's no way that people will keep turning a blind eye, but here we are 2 years later, and I mourn the country I used to know. I never really thought about it except from my point of view, but then I read a post that a friend of mine wrote on Facebook about "what we will tell our children" about these times. A small excerpt:
          I take my responsibility as a role model seriously, and I believe that honesty and transparency, and speaking to children as you would a peer are keys to their development. Children will learn only as much as we teach them, and when it comes to teaching them Right versus Wrong, that should be pretty easy, right?

So what do you tell your children about our President?

Is it right to lie? Is it right to sexually assault? Is it right to stoke fear?

The President repeatedly calls the press Fake News and the Enemy of the People. He has been caught on tape saying that if you’re a celebrity, it’s okay to kiss women and much worse without their consent. He has repeatedly rallied to Lock Up people who have committed no crimes other than being his political opponent, all while claiming that it is the other side who demonstrates “mob” like behavior. And today, he retweeted the most racially charged national political ad in a generation.

To me, it is pretty clear: The President’s behavior is wrong. And if you vote for him OR you vote for politicians who support him, you support the things he supports.

You vote in support of lying. You vote in support of believing the accused over the accuser. You vote in support of racist acts. Can we not agree that these things are Wrong?

Tomorrow is not about party. Tomorrow is about the side of right and the side of wrong. I want to be on the side of right, and I want to be able to look my grandchildren that I may have one day in their sweet faces and be proud of what I stood for. Don't you? I fear if we continue to accept this unacceptable behavior, we will be so far down a path we will never be able to return to what's right and decent. Search your heart tomorrow and vote. You know what's right! Let the world know!

God, I Hope She Gets It!

It has been quite some time since I posted, over 2 months, almost 3. So much has happened in my little life, but today I am writing a post for someone. Tomorrow, my oldest daughter turns 26. This birthday is different. She is not here, and probably won't be for many birthdays to come. A little over a month ago she moved to New York City to follow her dream of being an actress. It came as no surprise when she told me she wanted to move to the big city. In fact I was a little surprised she waited as long as she did, but opportunity presented itself, and she jumped on it. On August 11th, at 6AM, she got into her rented car, packed to the brim and started on her journey, not just to another city, but another life. Being an actor is hard! It takes sacrifice and perseverance, and the willingness to be told, "No," over and over again, and bounce right back. I know because I wanted to be an actor. Well, I am an actor, but I wanted that to be my job. I let other things get in the way, not that I have any regrets, mind you. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I made choices, and I am happy with them. She has made one choice: TO BE AN ACTOR, first and foremost. The first serious step she took was moving to NYC, a step that would terrify me, but she is up there seeing theatre and hustling to auditions and picking up jobs and navigating the subway like a pro - this alone would do me in - and she's not only doing it she's loving it! I never did it. I played it safe, and I have to say I'm a little envious, a tiny bit surprised but most of all in awe of her determination and basic guts to be up there doing what she's doing every day. I told her a long time ago that she had to decide if she wanted to be famous or make her living as an actor because they were two different things. Sometimes they're both, but rarely. My wish for her on this birthday is that she continue to have the drive to go at it day after day, that she stay comfortable, but not too comfortable,  that she continue to grow as an actress and keep working and studying and learning by experience or class, and, most of all that she be happy wherever she is and whatever she chooses. Happy Birthday, little girl! Love, Mommy!

Make America What Again?

Not that long ago I would have been spending my July 3rd evening combing through my closet looking for something red, white and blue to wear tomorrow. Celebrate the 4th! Show your colors! I was the first person to whip out a tissue frantically dabbing my eyes as I heard America, the Beautiful or The National Anthem. I am a teacher, and I wore black and white to school today. In previous years I would have been decked out practically looking like a tacky ad for Patriotism, but, sadly not today. Don't get me wrong. I know that even with all of its faults I still could be living in far worse places, but today I am mad!!! I am mad at what the current administration has turned my country into. I am mad that my precious flag, once a symbol of freedom and honor, has been turned into a banner of hate and exclusion. Every day I keep thinking I am going to find out that none of this is real. This can't be happening here. this is America! But it is! And the sad thing is a huge amount of the population is cheering on the hate, supporting the exclusion, and laughing at the suffering inflicted on children by US! I don't want to be associated with that America. I am not proud! I am dabbing at my eyes, but because my country has turned into the mad, pitch fork wielding mob, and I am at a loss as to how to stop it. America has become the rabid dog, foaming at the mouth with hate, and though you once loved the loyal and true companion, the only way to save it is to destroy it. Is that what we've come to? I pray not!

The Least of These

Several years ago I sat watching a video with my 2 young daughters. It was a movie version of a book my youngest daughter had read for school. I watched the entire movie and when it was over I was inconsolable. I cried and cried. The ending was tragic. As a parent I felt my own heart was being ripped out of my body. The name of the movie was The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. Now, before I go on, let me warn you: SPOILER ALERT: If you have not seen the movie or read the book, if you continue to read this post I will spoil the ending for you. The story centers around a German family during World War II. A young boy and his family move to a new house. The new house just happens to be adjacent to the property that is housing a Concentration Camp. Why would a family choose to live next to a Concentration Camp you might ask. The boys father is a high ranking officer in the SS, Hitler's Nazi Army, and he is in charge of the camp and all that goes on there. As young boys often do, he gets bored, and one day, decides to go exploring in the lush woods that surround his home, disguising the ugliness of the camp. He comes upon a large fence, and, as most little boys would be, he is curious and begins to explore along the border of the high fence. He meets another little boy on the other side, dressed in striped pajamas. They strike up a friendship, and the little boy on the outside visits the little boy on the inside almost daily. As their friendship grows, so does their desire to play together without the fence separating them. They make a plan for the boy on the outside to get in, and to go unnoticed while they play, he will wear striped pajamas too that the little boy on the inside has somehow smuggled. The day comes to embark on the big adventure. Both boys are inside, together at last without the fence separating them. There are lots of people in striped pajamas, and it just so happens that the day their adventure begins on the inside was the day planned to go to the showers. Hand in hand they walk in together, one Jew one non-Jew, neither knowing what is really in store for them. I sat there watching, horrified, hoping against hope that his Father would realize what's going on in time to save them. Please make this a Hollywood, happy ending, but that was not to be. Both little boys die in the gas chamber that day. The German boy's father is devastated. The man who had overseen the murder of hundreds of children and adults was devastated because his own boy was just like all the others in his striped pajamas that day. All the others that didn't matter, that needed to be eliminated, that were a threat to our HOMELAND. Are these words sounding familiar? They should because we are being told the same thing about people who are different from us, and when I say different, I mean non-white. Yeah, I know I hardly ever get political in this blog, but this is not about politics!!!! This is about human compassion. The current administration is working hard to keep us(America) safe from illegal immigrants. They have a zero tolerance policy for anyone trying to cross the border illegally, and it is a misdemeanor. Families who are seeking asylum in this country are being separated. Children are being taken away from their parents for "baths" and then never returned as parents are detained. The children are being kept in pens, cages. I'm sorry, but the similarities are too great! This is scary and cruel and rings true with every dictatorship I read about in school from Hitler to Idi Amin, but this is my country, where I have lived for 54 years, and where we have welcomed people. "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe FREE..." "Keep 'em out! they're takin' our jobs!" "Keep 'em out! they're rapists and murderers!" "Keep 'em out! They're foreigners!" "Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or ill or in prison and did not help you? He will reply, ' Truly I tell you , whatever you did not do for the LEAST of one of these, you did not do for ME!" ...Matthew 25:44-45.

Blurred Lines

Today is D-Day. It took place on June 6, 1944. I was not alive at that time, but countless people gave their lives that day so that I could live in freedom. We (America) went to war and attacked on the beaches of Normandy to rid the world of a very real threat. The Nazis were taking over Europe. I have posted this clip long ago, but it is worth watching again. It is the first part of Saving Private Ryan by Steven Spielberg. If you think war is just a video game, watch this. It will change your mind and your perception of what combat is like forever. (WARNING: Language and Violence)

When I think of what is happening in this country right now, I am so sad. What is going on right now is a slap in the face to these men who risked their lives to fight a very real enemy. An enemy we have let creep back onto our streets, OUR STREETS, the streets of America. Hell, on the college campus not an hour away from my front door, people marched through the streets with NAZI flags and chanting Nazi slogans, and the president did not speak out against them. When did the line become so blurred of right and wrong, between the good guys and the bad guys? How can we spit in the faces of these men who literally walked into a massacre on Omaha Beach by even entertaining the thought that Nazis are on the side of what's right? Do you want to tell them or their descendants that they died that day for nothing because really the Nazis aren't so bad. I don't. How long are we going to let this go on?  “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Edmund Burke. 

And Flights of Angels

I said goodbye to a friend today. I first knew Sherry Jeffords Brandmahl as the "cool older girl" in our folk group. We were both raised in the same church, Westhampton United Methodist. Sherry's mother, Beth Jeffords, was my very first choir director, Cherub Choir, I was 3. You had to be in Middle School to be in the folk group, and I was thrilled when I got to sing with the "big kids." I remember thinking how pretty Sherry was, long blond hair and these huge dark eyes and a voice like an angel. Sherry was older than me, so I didn't really hang around with her. I was too little. I did not know at the time, but years later we would meet again and embark on a journey filled with lots of highs and a few lows but a great friendship. I met up with Sherry again in my 20's. We were, again, attending the same church, Discovery United Methodist Church. My husband at the time was the music director, and Sherry was in the choir. The church had 3 services back to back. I always felt like the 8:30 service got cheated on music, so I started a group called "The 8:30 Girls." It was a quartet. I was singing Soprano along with another friend, Janet, and two ladies needed to sing the lower alto parts. I knew I wanted to ask Sherry. She was always a great alto. She agreed, and the group was formed, Me, Janet, Debbie and Sherry. We started practicing, and soon we had quite a repertoire. One Sunday came, and "The 8:30 Girls" were singing at an outdoor service. It was a bright, sunny morning, and all of us wore sunglasses. From that morning on we were known as Shades of Faith. Something special happens when you sing with a group of people. You are creating a sound together. We had rehearsals sometimes where we laughed more than we sang. I loved those days! I was lucky enough to be in two groups with Sherry. In addition to Shades, we were both in a group called Messenger. My Ex was the lead singer, Sherry's brother, Billy, played drums, our associate pastor, Dan, played keyboards and guitar, and 3 ladies sang tight, back-up harmony. Sherry was, you guessed it, our alto. If there was ever a group that could have gone somewhere, it was Messenger. As it often does, life had other plans. At the height of Messenger's journey my husband left me and the church, and just like that, it was over. That brings me to one of my favorite memories of Sherry. My marriage didn't break up in the most amicable way. I came home to an empty house, and I was reeling. I called Dan, and he called Sherry and Bill to come to church so we could break the news. Sherry and Bill came right over. They were right there for me, and Sherry continued to be there for me. She helped me through some of the toughest years of my life. We had long talks. I always knew she was on my side. The last time I saw Sherry was a couple of years ago. She had come with her parents and sister to see a show I was in. I saw them after the show, and Sherry hadn't changed a bit, just as beautiful as ever. Cancer took Sherry away from us last Friday, and today I attended her Standing Room Only funeral. Obviously Sherry touched many lives besides mine. I listened as a good friend of ours, Sandra Bottoms, led a beautiful service. I listened to our dear friend, Donald Coles, sing a song Sherry requested when she knew her path was taking its final turn. It was a comforting song. Just like Sherry to try to comfort me even in her passing. Good bye, sweet friend.

Is Your Tomb Empty?

I sat in church on Easter Sunday, just 2 days ago, and listened to the anthem the choir sang, He Is Not Here. The lyrics are: "He is not here, He is risen. See the tomb is empty where He lay." See the tomb is empty. Tomb is defined as “an enclosure for a corpse cut in the earth or rock.” Not something that is made for escape or exiting. Why would they be made that way? The person in the tomb will not be waking or walking. They are dead. When Mary went to the tomb early that Easter morning, Jesus had been dead since about 3pm on Friday. There was no room for speculation that Jesus might have been alive when He was placed in the tomb, but even if that was the case he was buried for more than a day. When Mary went to the tomb it was empty. That would be the same as if we had buried a loved one and went back to the graveside 2 days after the funeral, and the casket had been unearthed and lay open with no one in it. Pretty freaky stuff. I can’t imagine what I would think or feel. I’m sure my first thought would be the same as Mary’s. Someone has taken the body. Mary couldn’t celebrate the empty tomb. She was too close. She couldn’t see the miracle. We have that privilege. Do we celebrate, though? We may celebrate that Jesus is alive, but that tomb. Jesus conquered death for our freedom but not just spiritual freedom. We fill the tomb over and over again with worry and doubt, hate and fear, self-loathing and mistrust. We cannot celebrate. We can’t even get inside the tomb to see that it’s empty. We are free, if we let ourselves be. His tomb was empty. Let yours be too.

Baseball, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie and.....Mass Shootings

It's been a while since I've posted, but I promised myself when I started this blog that I would post when I felt inspired to write. Yes, I know this is a hot topic right now, and I am not just jumping on the bandwagon, but I think things need to be said. This is not going to be super political. Well, I guess that depends on who is reading this, but here goes. When I was little there was a commercial for Chevrolet that had a jingle. ♪♫Baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet.♫♪ saying, essentially, that Chevrolet was just as American as the other things listed that America is known for. Last week when I heard of yet another school shooting just weeks after 17 people were killed in a mass shooting in Parkland, FL, that jingle popped into my head. Right along with Baseball and Apple Pie, this country is known for mass shootings. I have 2 children. Both are finished with school, and I have to say I am glad, because, like you, I am concerned about the things that are happening more and more frequently. I read one comment after Parkland, and the person wrote that it wasn’t a matter of “if” you would be directly affected by a mass shooting but “when.” That really hit home for me. I work in a preschool, and we have been on lockdown twice since September. No inside threat, but you never know when that will occur. I also read another comment about other countries’ stats on gun violence. We’re doing something wrong. Why don’t we fix it? Now, I’m not saying get rid of all guns. Truthfully, I don’t think anyone is saying that. I grew up with handguns in my home. The only time I ever saw my dad fire it was to shoot a huge snake in the backyard. I have thought of owning my own personal handgun for protection in my home. I am not against gun ownership. I do, however, think it is ludicrous that I must show ID to buy Sudafed, but not a gun. I think that only the military should have the high-powered rifles that are designed to kill as many people as quickly as possible. No one needs a gun that was invented to kill people. They need to go, and NOW!! At the very least, if we are not going to get rid of them, we need to make it nearly impossible to get one. I am proud of the young people who are trying to bring about change, and I am ashamed of the supposed adults who have reverted to name calling and trying to discredit them, going so far as to claim they are actors. Give me a break! This is a real problem, and if we don’t do something about it soon, our young people will be the next things on the endangered species list.

A Little Less

I am sitting in my living room at 10:50 PM on New Year's Day with a little less. Usually "less" gives a negative connotation, and some of my "less" is negative. I have a little less money than last year, less time off, but I also have less debt, less stress and less sickness. This past Christmas, more than any other in recent years, I bought less. I'm not sure if it was because some counted on money didn't come through, or I found just the right things, but I knew I didn't have the money, and I made it work. Thanks to my little angel, Georgi, the house was clean, and we were able to enjoy all of our Christmas decorations, 3 trees and lighted garland on the mantle. I didn't feel rushed, and I probably had less time to prepare for Christmas this year than I have in years. What was the difference? I'm pretty sure I was happy this year, not that I haven't been happy in years before this year, I have, but I always let a lot of negative crap get in the way. It's amazing when you look back on something from a different place. The things I used to let bother me were so petty. I know. I'm rambling, but I guess what I'm trying to say is no matter what is going on around you life is what you make it. Yes, I realize that is cliche', and I've heard it thousands of times, but I really lived it this year. I can choose to be happy or not, and I'm sorry to say, for years I let myself be unhappy. I chose to focus on the negative and complain about it. Sorry girls! I'm not really a resolution type girl, but I am resolving that in 2018 I will try to be positive, and at the very least I will not dwell on the negative. Some very profound losses happened in 2017 that really made me think about what is important. Time is fleeting, and I am determined to make the most of it even if it's with a little less.