The LOVE? Boat

 

I was a child of the 70's. I was also a TV kid. I spent a lot of time in front of that little box of entertainment all through my school years. The Jackie Gleason Show, The Carol Burnette Show, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Laugh-in, Looney Tunes, Mary Tyler Moore, Happy Days, Fantasy Island, and the list goes on and on. In September of 1976 a show premiered called The Love Boat. It was one of the many that came out of the Aaron Spelling creative machine. When it premiered I was about a month away from turning 13. I remember loving that show. I was always in front of the TV on Saturday night to watch that and then Fantasy Island which followed. It ran for 9 years. You can imagine when I saw that it was available to stream on the service Paramount+ I started watching. 

The first season was fairly tame for a show called The Love Boat. Certainly flirting and whirlwind romance, many couples who end up together as they leave the cruise. As I was watching Season 2 more and more of the Episodes had the male crew members, especially Doc (played by Bernie Kopel, a great character actor I have always loved), hit on the attractive passengers as soon as they are checking in. The women, of course are "flattered" by the pick-up lines and often are on the arm of that crew member all through the episode. Gopher (the Assistant Purser played by Fred Grandy) also attempts but his never quite land as he is not considered as suave as Doc. Saturday I was watching the 5th Episode in the second season. The title of one of the vignettes was "Julie's Aunt." The set up was that Captain Stubing's (played by Gavin Macleod) favorite uncle was coming on the cruise, and he was to receive the STAR treatment. The uncle was played by Red Buttons, a movie actor and comedian popular in the late 50's. He immediately "takes a shine" to Julie. At least those are the words they use in the quick synopsis. His taking a shine to her includes this dialogue when they are first introduced the Captain says he wants his Uncle to receive the red carpet treatment to which his Uncle Cyrus replies to Julie, "Will there be enough room on the carpet for both of us?" Julie replies, embarassed, "Mr. Foster!" to which he says, "Uncle Cyrus to you. Welcome to the family, and it's a very loving family!" He then grabs both her hands and pulls her to him to kiss her on the cheek. Later in the episode Julie delivers a fruit basket to Uncle Cyrus' cabin from Capt. Stubing. He asks her to stay and have a piece of fruit with him. She says she really shouldn't. He makes a pleading face, and she says "Alright, for a minute, sure." He asks would she like to see some pictures of his grandchildren. She replies she'd love to, and he says "So would I, but I don't have any," as he is leading her to the couch. He spins her quickly, and she lands on the couch. He kisses her hand. She replies, "You're so gallant." He then starts moving up her arm with the kisses. She has a look of panic on her face and asks what he is doing trying to pull away. 
Julie: Mr. Foster, PLEASE!
Uncle Cyrus: You don't have to beg, it's my pleasure.
(LAUGH TRACK)
Julie: What are you doing?
Uncle Cyrus: In my day, dear, this was known as bussing.
Julie: In my day it's called forced bussing!
(LAUGH TRACK)
He dives for her on the couch. She slips out just in time.
Uncle Cyrus: Cute! I love a woman who combines humor with passion.(he grabs her wrist)
Julie: PASSION?!?(with her free hand she grabs an apple from the fruit basket) Here! Eat an apple.
Uncle Cyrus: Forget the apple, Eve! I'm already tempted. (Julie runs for the door and escapes as he is on her heels as she slams the door.)
(LAUGH TRACK)
Julie tells Doc as he is passing in the hall just after her escape that Uncle Cyrus just made a pass at her and asks him could he believe that. He replies with the advice that she shouldn't put herself down. She's an attractive girl. 
(LAUGH TRACK)

It gets worse!

Julie, Gopher and Doc are in the Lobby. Capt. Stubing comes over to thank them for spending so much time with his Uncle. The camera pulls a shot of Julie looking "uncomfortable."
Gopher: Never seen an old guy with so much pep. He sure is in great shape.
Capt. Stubing: Well, he always took good care of his body.
Doc: (looking toward Julie) Now he's trying to take care of yours.
(Julie scowls)
(LAUGH TRACK)
Unlce Cyrus comes over to the group and makes a few jokes about the ship then invites them all to his cabin for a party.
Capt. Stubing: How about you, Julie, you coming to the party?
She tries to beg off because she has a big day the next day. The Captain says he does too, but he wouldn't miss one of Cy's parties and tells her he will see her at 9 and walks away.
Doc: Come on, Julie, so the old man got a little impulsive this afternoon. He's probably starved for affection.
Julie: Well, I'm not going to be part of his diet.
(LAUGH TRACK)
Gopher: Don't worry! We're all going to be there. If Cyrus Foster as much as puckers his lips, we'll form a circle around you.
Doc: Besides, why hurt an old man's feelings? 
Gopher: Yeah.
Julie: Ok, I'll go.
Doc: That a girl, but go easy on the lip gloss. You don't want to turn the old man on.
(LAUGH TRACK)

No, it gets worse still.

Julie shows up for the "party" Uncle Cyrus opens the door welcoming her. No one else is there. She asks where everyone is, and he says they will be arriving in a minute and asks her to have a drink. She has obviously arrived after nine hoping others would be there. She asks Cyrus if he's sure the others are coming. He responds that they had better be as he just opened a fresh can of peanuts on the night stand. Julie walks over to get a peanut and Cyrus pushes her on the bed and is on top of her.
Julie: What on earth! You're old enough to be my grandfather!
Uncle Cyrus:Forget Sun City! This is Fun City!
(LAUGH TRACK)
He tries to kiss her. She pushes him off and to the floor.
Julie: STOP IT!
She gets up and tries to leave. He grabs her foot and she falls to the floor on all fours, crawling to the door. 
Julie: (Through clenched teeth) Mr. Foster!
Uncle Cyrus: (Not letting go of her foot) You can call me Cyrus.
Julie: (Exasperated) What are you doing?
Uncle Cyrus: I'm proposing.
Julie: Behave yourself and let go of me! (Struggling to free her foot from his grasp)
(LAUGH TRACK)
Uncle Cyrus: I like your spunk, girl. You and I could make beautiful music together.
(LAUGH TRACK)
Julie:(defeated) Get yourself a tape deck.
(LAUGH TRACK)
Uncle Cyrus: (still holding her foot) Oh, Julie, don't play so hard to get. I'm really a nice guy once you get to know me. I grow on people.
Julie: (struggling and crawling, trying to break free) Plant yourself on somebody else! (She breaks free and stands. Heads for the door. He is right behind her. She turns him to the window.) Mr. Foster look out there. What on earth is that couple doing out there?
Uncle Cyrus: (Taking a step toward the window) What couple?
She darts out the door into the hall while he is distracted. He opens the door immediately.
Uncle Cyrus: (to Julie as she is running down the hall) Is it something I said?
(LAUGH TRACK)

Julie then goes to the other crew members who are playing cards together in one of their cabins and yells at them for not being at the party asking how they could leave her "all alone with that old lecher." She finds out that Cyrus called all of them to cancel the party but her insuring they would be alone in his cabin. Julie calls it a sneaky, deceitful, devious trick. 
Gopher:(to Doc) Sounds like your technique, Doc. (The 3 men laugh)
(LAUGH TRACK)
Julie: You guys, it's not funny!
They advise her to talk to the Captain and tell him that his uncle is a "dirty old man who can't keep his hands to himself." She responds with how that would be impossible as the Captain idolizes his uncle, and she'll just try to stay away from Cyrus. She leaves the cabin and Cyrus is in the hall and asks her if she wants to go skinny dipping in the pool. She runs the other way.
(LAUGH TRACK)
She tries to talk to Capt. Stubing. He tells Julie that Uncle Cyrus has taken quite a shine to her and wants to have cocktails and dinner. Julie replies it's more than a shine. Capt. Stubing says he'll take that as a "yes" to the invitation. Uncle Cyrus appears and the Capt. tells him that he has a date with Julie. Cyrus says he will pick her up at her cabin and kisses her hand. Capt. Stubing remarks that Cyrus is always a gentleman. Julie nods uncomfortably. She tells her male crew mates (Gopher, Doc and Isaac (played by Ted Lange) about her dilemma and asks what she should do? 
Isaac: I suggest you wear a beautiful gown, some attractive jewelry, and track shoes! (The 3 men laugh)
(LAUGH TRACK)
Doc finally says that this is no laughing matter and someone should teach Cyrus a lesson. Julie says she wishes her Aunt Phoebe - a vice cop in Milwaukee - was their to teach him a lesson. The four cook up a scheme to have Gopher play Aunt Phoebe and rescue Julie. The evening comes, and of course everything doesn't go as planned and when Julie signals Gopher to save her, he isn't there. Uncle Cyrus chases Julie around the room and finally pins her against the bathroom door kissing her neck until "Aunt Phoebe" finally busts in reading Cyrus the riot act. Cyrus stammers that he can explain. It's just a casual dinner date. Julie tells him the date is off and says she's having dinner with her Aunt. She excuses herself to freshen up. As you may imagine, Cyrus then starts hitting on and advancing on "Aunt Phoebe." He pins "her" against the wall and kisses "her" on the cheek, knocking Gopher's wig off. Cyrus is appalled that he kissed Gopher and threatens to report both Julie and Gopher to the Captain. Gopher tells him to go ahead because he's sure the Captain would love to know what brought this whole situation. Uncle Cyrus then launches into a heartfelt speech (underscored by sappy music) about how he was married to his departed wife for 32 years and never strayed once. He doesn't know why he acts this way. He says that he is very lonely after losing the most important thing in his life, and he asks Julie to forgive him. She says she will, but he needs to change his ways. She agrees to STILL go to dinner if he behaves himself. He promises. As the episode winds down and the crew says Good-bye to the passengers, Uncle Cyrus comes to the crew to say his farewell. Julie tells Uncle Cyrus to take care of himself and calls him a cutie and gives him a peck on the cheek. He asks Julie one last question:
Uncle Cyrus:(pulling Julie away from the group) Have you got a younger sister?
(LAUGH TRACK)

If you're still reading, and I hope you are. I wanted you to see the way this situation was portrayed, for laughs! This episode aired in 1978. I don't remember if I saw this particular episode or not, but I never remember thinking any of these shows were "out of line" or "creepy" This was several scenes of a dirty old man trying to sexually assault a young girl and it's treated as comedy. No wonder women of my generation are afraid to speak up when men act inappropriately. We were raised on television that played those scenarios for laughs, and just in case you didn't think it was funny, they put in a laugh track to tell you it was. This is not the first show of that era that has this exact same take. Women fighting off men's unwanted advances was entertainment. I guess what the real lesson here is that watching it now, I do think it's creepy. It makes me uncomfortable, and I am outraged at the way it's portrayed. We've come a long way, baby!