Where Do We Go From Here?

Me with the lovely Lynn West

It was a hot July night, and sweaty and covered in dust I walked into the building. My hair was falling down around my face, and I can still remember what I was wearing, a navy sleeveless 1 piece culotte outfit that zipped up the front with a red, swiss-dotted applique of a mushroom on the leg. I had been to the circus that day at the Fairgrounds, now known as the Richmond International Raceway. The circus visit was not the special thing that was happening on July 25, 1974. The building I entered was Swift Creek Mill Playhouse, and it was opening night of my very first professional show, The Music Man. I don't remember much else about that night except that I had missed the memo on dressing up for opening night. In those days everyone "dressed" to go to the theater, but there I was in my dirty circus soiled clothes at the opening night party. I didn't think much of it then, but I guess it left an impression if I still recall it 45 years later. The opening night was obviously not that important to me. Being in the show was! You could say this is when I began this journey of being an actress, but it started way before age 10. The earliest recollection I have of being in front of an audience would be age 3. My parents took me and my sister to some mountain resort, and we were waiting by the hostess stand for a table. There was a man playing guitar, the restaurant's live music for the evening, and he asked, "Does anyone know how to hula dance?" I walked right through the crowd and up on stage to hula. My sister, 5 at the time, was mortified. I've never had a problem being in front of people. I was always "acting up" for my parents, especially my daddy. I was lip-syncing way before it was a national pastime! I used to put on the 45 of Vicki Lawrence's  The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia and play it at 78 speed and mouth the words for my dad, and he would laugh and laugh. Translation for those who have no idea what I am talking about: A 45 is a small, vinyl record that contains a single song. If you play it on a turntable at 78 it revolves very quickly, and it makes the singer sound like they are on permanent helium. The Music Man, however was my first "professional" show. I was paid to perform. I got paid $5.00 per show, and we did 4 shows a week. $20.00 a week was big doings for a 10 year old, but I didn't care about that. I loved doing the show! I haven't really stopped acting since then. It hasn't always been a paid gig, but I have loved every minute of it! I met my ex-husband doing a show. If it were not for the theatre, I would not have my 2 amazing daughters. The theatre has blessed me in so many ways! I am 55 now, closer to 56, and roles are not as readily available for my age. Recently I told my daughter, " I'm past wanting anything. I'm never going to make my living as an actress, and I'm okay with that." God had something different in mind. Earlier this year I found out that I get to reprise my role of "Louise" in Always, Patsy Cline at VaRep, and just recently I was cast in what I think will be one of the most challenging roles of my career with Richmond Triangle Players. This old girl's not done yet! With any luck, I never will be.

Norman Would Be Proud

Tonight I gathered with a group I like to call a second family at the November Theater. You couldn't really call it a party, and it wasn't for a show, although the audience was filled with show people. The group was the Richmond Theatre Community, and we gathered to say goodbye and remember and honor one of our own, Andy Boothby. Andy left us way to soon this past Tuesday. He and I were born the same year only 8 months apart. He was older. He wouldn't want me to share that, but he was. When I heard the news, I couldn't believe it. Obviously I was not the only one shocked as several friends tonight shared the same sentiment. You kind of just thought he would always be around. His was a light you couldn't imagine going out, but it did, and it rocked all of our worlds. As I often do, when I am moved, I take to blogging. When I heard about Andy, I couldn't blog because I was in tech week for a show. Andy would totally understand that, and it wouldn't bother him in the least. He was an actor, and a damn good one! The first time I saw Andy on stage was when he played Tito in Lend Me a Tenor at Swift Creek Mill. He was wonderful, and I remember thinking, "Who is this new guy?" The first show I did with him was an adaptation of The Phantom of the Opera also at Swift Creek. This was the first time I heard the phrase,"Norman, I believe we shall give them a good one tonight!" We didn't appear on stage together again until we did A Christmas Carol at Theatre IV. He was playing Ghost of Christmas Present, a fitting role for Andy as he consumed life and all its joys. Those were the only 2 shows Andy and I did together, but every time I would see him I could always count on a hug and a kiss. I saw Andy in several shows, but my favorite performance was his role as the boyfriend in Hanover Tavern's On Golden Pond . It was such a departure from Andy's real life persona. He played him with nervousness, and vulnerability perfectly. He was superb! The last time I saw Andy was about 9 months ago. He did me a favor and spent a day with a bunch of high school kids judging a forensics competition. We shared lunch and conversation and of course a hug and a kiss. I didn't know it would be the last one I would receive. Maybe I would have held on a little longer. If you ever did a show with Andy, at places you would hear him bellow, "Norman, I believe we shall give them a good one tonight!" Andy, you did give them a good one on stage and off and Norman would have been proud!

Children Will Listen

In 1990 I was brought in as a last minute replacement as Jack's Mom in Into the Woods at Swift Creek Mill Playhouse. The actress playing her had to leave the cast, and Tom Width called me to ask me to come audition. I got the part. It was daunting to say the least as I was coming into the rehearsal process late, and if you know anything about Sondheim, that is no easy task. The cast welcomed me, and it was my entrance back into professional theatre after a very long hiatus. That show changed me in many ways, but I was 22, and I don't know if I truly appreciated the show's themes as I do now at 55. Through the last 33 years there have been many situations that have arisen that I have thought of the wisdom of Stephen Sondheim's lyrics, especially from Into the Woods. The running theme is "be careful what you wish for," but so many other things come up as he tells the story. Each thing we do affects someone else, although we may not see it at the time. Often times we make selfish choices that end up leaving someone else's life in ruins. The beautiful Julie Fulcher-Davis played the Witch in our production. Julie is a passionate actress and an even more passionate person. In the show her character sings a song called Children Will Listen. SPOILER ALERT: She sings the song while grieving the loss of her only child. The really sad part is that ultimately her daughter's death happened as a result of  the wheels she set in motion. To hear Julie sing it would make your heart break. The song begins:
              "Careful the things you say, children will listen.
              Careful the things you do, children will see and learn.."
I have pretty much kept this blog out of the hard political arena, but tomorrow is an extremely important day in the life of our country, and truthfully, our lives. I have watched over the past 2 years with disgust, fear, and shock at the horrible things that have become commonplace in our society. I have watched as hate has been encouraged and allowed to thrive, even stoked. I have watched awful things happen that I never thought I would see in my own country, let alone the fact that my government was on the side of the bad guys. I kept thinking, there's no way this can go on. There's no way that people will keep turning a blind eye, but here we are 2 years later, and I mourn the country I used to know. I never really thought about it except from my point of view, but then I read a post that a friend of mine wrote on Facebook about "what we will tell our children" about these times. A small excerpt:
          I take my responsibility as a role model seriously, and I believe that honesty and transparency, and speaking to children as you would a peer are keys to their development. Children will learn only as much as we teach them, and when it comes to teaching them Right versus Wrong, that should be pretty easy, right?

So what do you tell your children about our President?

Is it right to lie? Is it right to sexually assault? Is it right to stoke fear?

The President repeatedly calls the press Fake News and the Enemy of the People. He has been caught on tape saying that if you’re a celebrity, it’s okay to kiss women and much worse without their consent. He has repeatedly rallied to Lock Up people who have committed no crimes other than being his political opponent, all while claiming that it is the other side who demonstrates “mob” like behavior. And today, he retweeted the most racially charged national political ad in a generation.

To me, it is pretty clear: The President’s behavior is wrong. And if you vote for him OR you vote for politicians who support him, you support the things he supports.

You vote in support of lying. You vote in support of believing the accused over the accuser. You vote in support of racist acts. Can we not agree that these things are Wrong?

Tomorrow is not about party. Tomorrow is about the side of right and the side of wrong. I want to be on the side of right, and I want to be able to look my grandchildren that I may have one day in their sweet faces and be proud of what I stood for. Don't you? I fear if we continue to accept this unacceptable behavior, we will be so far down a path we will never be able to return to what's right and decent. Search your heart tomorrow and vote. You know what's right! Let the world know!

God, I Hope She Gets It!

It has been quite some time since I posted, over 2 months, almost 3. So much has happened in my little life, but today I am writing a post for someone. Tomorrow, my oldest daughter turns 26. This birthday is different. She is not here, and probably won't be for many birthdays to come. A little over a month ago she moved to New York City to follow her dream of being an actress. It came as no surprise when she told me she wanted to move to the big city. In fact I was a little surprised she waited as long as she did, but opportunity presented itself, and she jumped on it. On August 11th, at 6AM, she got into her rented car, packed to the brim and started on her journey, not just to another city, but another life. Being an actor is hard! It takes sacrifice and perseverance, and the willingness to be told, "No," over and over again, and bounce right back. I know because I wanted to be an actor. Well, I am an actor, but I wanted that to be my job. I let other things get in the way, not that I have any regrets, mind you. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I made choices, and I am happy with them. She has made one choice: TO BE AN ACTOR, first and foremost. The first serious step she took was moving to NYC, a step that would terrify me, but she is up there seeing theatre and hustling to auditions and picking up jobs and navigating the subway like a pro - this alone would do me in - and she's not only doing it she's loving it! I never did it. I played it safe, and I have to say I'm a little envious, a tiny bit surprised but most of all in awe of her determination and basic guts to be up there doing what she's doing every day. I told her a long time ago that she had to decide if she wanted to be famous or make her living as an actor because they were two different things. Sometimes they're both, but rarely. My wish for her on this birthday is that she continue to have the drive to go at it day after day, that she stay comfortable, but not too comfortable,  that she continue to grow as an actress and keep working and studying and learning by experience or class, and, most of all that she be happy wherever she is and whatever she chooses. Happy Birthday, little girl! Love, Mommy!

Make America What Again?

Not that long ago I would have been spending my July 3rd evening combing through my closet looking for something red, white and blue to wear tomorrow. Celebrate the 4th! Show your colors! I was the first person to whip out a tissue frantically dabbing my eyes as I heard America, the Beautiful or The National Anthem. I am a teacher, and I wore black and white to school today. In previous years I would have been decked out practically looking like a tacky ad for Patriotism, but, sadly not today. Don't get me wrong. I know that even with all of its faults I still could be living in far worse places, but today I am mad!!! I am mad at what the current administration has turned my country into. I am mad that my precious flag, once a symbol of freedom and honor, has been turned into a banner of hate and exclusion. Every day I keep thinking I am going to find out that none of this is real. This can't be happening here. this is America! But it is! And the sad thing is a huge amount of the population is cheering on the hate, supporting the exclusion, and laughing at the suffering inflicted on children by US! I don't want to be associated with that America. I am not proud! I am dabbing at my eyes, but because my country has turned into the mad, pitch fork wielding mob, and I am at a loss as to how to stop it. America has become the rabid dog, foaming at the mouth with hate, and though you once loved the loyal and true companion, the only way to save it is to destroy it. Is that what we've come to? I pray not!

The Least of These

Several years ago I sat watching a video with my 2 young daughters. It was a movie version of a book my youngest daughter had read for school. I watched the entire movie and when it was over I was inconsolable. I cried and cried. The ending was tragic. As a parent I felt my own heart was being ripped out of my body. The name of the movie was The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. Now, before I go on, let me warn you: SPOILER ALERT: If you have not seen the movie or read the book, if you continue to read this post I will spoil the ending for you. The story centers around a German family during World War II. A young boy and his family move to a new house. The new house just happens to be adjacent to the property that is housing a Concentration Camp. Why would a family choose to live next to a Concentration Camp you might ask. The boys father is a high ranking officer in the SS, Hitler's Nazi Army, and he is in charge of the camp and all that goes on there. As young boys often do, he gets bored, and one day, decides to go exploring in the lush woods that surround his home, disguising the ugliness of the camp. He comes upon a large fence, and, as most little boys would be, he is curious and begins to explore along the border of the high fence. He meets another little boy on the other side, dressed in striped pajamas. They strike up a friendship, and the little boy on the outside visits the little boy on the inside almost daily. As their friendship grows, so does their desire to play together without the fence separating them. They make a plan for the boy on the outside to get in, and to go unnoticed while they play, he will wear striped pajamas too that the little boy on the inside has somehow smuggled. The day comes to embark on the big adventure. Both boys are inside, together at last without the fence separating them. There are lots of people in striped pajamas, and it just so happens that the day their adventure begins on the inside was the day planned to go to the showers. Hand in hand they walk in together, one Jew one non-Jew, neither knowing what is really in store for them. I sat there watching, horrified, hoping against hope that his Father would realize what's going on in time to save them. Please make this a Hollywood, happy ending, but that was not to be. Both little boys die in the gas chamber that day. The German boy's father is devastated. The man who had overseen the murder of hundreds of children and adults was devastated because his own boy was just like all the others in his striped pajamas that day. All the others that didn't matter, that needed to be eliminated, that were a threat to our HOMELAND. Are these words sounding familiar? They should because we are being told the same thing about people who are different from us, and when I say different, I mean non-white. Yeah, I know I hardly ever get political in this blog, but this is not about politics!!!! This is about human compassion. The current administration is working hard to keep us(America) safe from illegal immigrants. They have a zero tolerance policy for anyone trying to cross the border illegally, and it is a misdemeanor. Families who are seeking asylum in this country are being separated. Children are being taken away from their parents for "baths" and then never returned as parents are detained. The children are being kept in pens, cages. I'm sorry, but the similarities are too great! This is scary and cruel and rings true with every dictatorship I read about in school from Hitler to Idi Amin, but this is my country, where I have lived for 54 years, and where we have welcomed people. "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe FREE..." "Keep 'em out! they're takin' our jobs!" "Keep 'em out! they're rapists and murderers!" "Keep 'em out! They're foreigners!" "Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or ill or in prison and did not help you? He will reply, ' Truly I tell you , whatever you did not do for the LEAST of one of these, you did not do for ME!" ...Matthew 25:44-45.

Blurred Lines

Today is D-Day. It took place on June 6, 1944. I was not alive at that time, but countless people gave their lives that day so that I could live in freedom. We (America) went to war and attacked on the beaches of Normandy to rid the world of a very real threat. The Nazis were taking over Europe. I have posted this clip long ago, but it is worth watching again. It is the first part of Saving Private Ryan by Steven Spielberg. If you think war is just a video game, watch this. It will change your mind and your perception of what combat is like forever. (WARNING: Language and Violence)

When I think of what is happening in this country right now, I am so sad. What is going on right now is a slap in the face to these men who risked their lives to fight a very real enemy. An enemy we have let creep back onto our streets, OUR STREETS, the streets of America. Hell, on the college campus not an hour away from my front door, people marched through the streets with NAZI flags and chanting Nazi slogans, and the president did not speak out against them. When did the line become so blurred of right and wrong, between the good guys and the bad guys? How can we spit in the faces of these men who literally walked into a massacre on Omaha Beach by even entertaining the thought that Nazis are on the side of what's right? Do you want to tell them or their descendants that they died that day for nothing because really the Nazis aren't so bad. I don't. How long are we going to let this go on?  “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Edmund Burke.