Today is an anniversary of a sort for me. 13 years ago today I came home from a trip to find an empty house and a letter telling me that my marriage of 15 years was over. That day I began a journey. The last 13 years have been filled with extreme highs and extreme lows, but I have to say that the destination is a pretty amazing one. I have written several posts before about how the road may not lead where you want it to and how that turns out to be a blessing. Today's is no different except that I feel different today. Today I feel like I am on the verge of something great!
I am a firm believer in signs, not STOP signs or street signs, but things that come your way that affirm what you're thinking or nudge you in a direction. Today, in the span of one hour, I saw the following quote posted on Facebook by three different friends, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” ~Anaïs Nin For a long time I have been afraid to blossom for fear that someone would not think that my flower was beautiful. I have spent a good part of the last 13 years putting myself down, always under the guise of humor. I have been afraid to get out there and realize my full potential, somehow believing that maybe I didn't deserve it. After all, I had failed as a wife. There must be something wrong with me. Well, there was. I was stupid enough to believe deep down inside that a choice my ex-husband made was somehow my fault. Those nagging thoughts of "If I'd only been a better wife." "Maybe if I'd kept the house cleaner" "I let myself go" "I'm too fat"
NO MORE!
I am ready to blossom, and I can't wait to see the garden that becomes my life!
Random thoughts, feelings, emotions, rants....and anything else that comes to mind.
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