Excuses, Excuses

Recently, a very dear, dear friend of mine was publicly insulted by someone who made a very rude comment. The comment would not be considered in any civilized group of people with a modicum of manners or respect to be acceptable in any way, shape or form. The incident was posted on Facebook, and several people commented with outrage and reassuring comments, but as always seems to be the case when people exhibit bad behavior, excuses were made. They've had a rough time of it. They didn't mean anything by it, it's just their way of joking. They didn't have the easiest childhood, and on, and on, and on! This seems to be the trend not just with this occurrence but with EVERYTHING starting with the smallest infractions on the playground to the mass shootings that take place. Barring mental illness causing a person to act unacceptably because of a chemical imbalance, THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR TREATING SOMEONE ELSE BADLY or hurting them or their feelings. Recently I have seen several posts from parents about their children and their problems with attitude or disrespect, and so often it's followed with, "It's just the age." Pardon my french, but BULLSHIT! Yes, it is true that puberty screws with all of us and our hormones. We may all want to behave badly, but we still know right from wrong. We have cognitive thought. We know the proper way to treat others, and we can make the conscious choice to still treat others with respect because that's what civilized people do. I'm sure there were times I felt like giving attitude to my parents, but it was not tolerated. I never tolerated it in my own children, and my philosophy was, they might talk back to me or give me attitude, but they won't do it but once! I don't care why you were rude, mean, disrespectful, murderous. There must be consequences for your inappropriate actions. Several years ago, a young man was getting ready to move away to take his shot at becoming famous. He confided to me that he was afraid of how the industry and the surroundings would affect him. I replied to him that YOU decide the person you are going to be. Yes, there will be temptations, and bad choices to make everywhere. That's just it! They are CHOICES! If we start out teaching our children that when they make the wrong choices, when they behave badly, when they don't try that they have an excuse to blame it on, that's what they will always do, because that is the easiest path to take. You know what? We all have suffering in our lives. Everyone goes through trials and tribulations. RISE ABOVE IT! I know it's hard! Believe me, I do!, but the alternative is wallowing in it or excusing it away. I know this sounds like a pretty harsh, unfeeling post, and I tend to see things in black and white. I'm not saying that issues that people have do not need to be addressed, but they cannot be used as excuses to treat others with anything less than kindness and respect. We've excused bad behavior for too long, and we are suffering for it as a society. We're digging a hole we will never be able to crawl out of.