Everybody Gets a Trophy!

Recently I took time off work to attend what I thought was a school ceremony, at least I had the picture in my mind of what ceremonies were like when I was in high school. The function I attended was about as far from ceremony as you could get. My daughter was being inducted into an honor society. Coincidentally it was the same one I was inducted into in my high school days. When I was inducted or "tapped" as they called it then, it was a HUGE deal. It was coveted by those who didn't achieve it, and something to feel proud and honored by if it was achieved. The entire school attended the tapping ceremony, and the student who was being tapped had no idea until a fellow student, usually someone they had a bond with in the organization would come up behind the student and place their hands on their shoulders. You would then join the others to wait until all were tapped, and then you held a candle and took the pledge of the organization you had just been tapped into. Later, you and your parents, who had secretly been informed so they could attend to see this special moment in your high school career, were guests at a reception held in honor of all the inductees. It was an event that meant something, and being tapped into the organization meant not only academic scholarship, but leadership and character as well. You didn't just have to achieve a certain grade point average, and BOOM, you were in. I know this because I achieved the grade point average required in my Junior year, but I was not tapped until my senior year, something I was gravely disappointed about. What I attended last week could be likened to a cattle call audition. If you don't know what that is, anyone and everyone shows up for an audition and you are shuffled through as fast as humanly possible. The "ceremony", and I use the term loosely, lasted 20 minutes, TOPS! Very few parents were in attendance, only the students being inducted were there. No other part of the student body witnessed, as they had in my day, the induction. Some brief opening remarks were made by the sponsor. The officers were introduced. They read the definitions of the attributes required with about as much enthusiasm as if they were reading the phonebook. The president had all the students stand,  raise their right hand and repeat the pledge, and then all of the students names were read  so fast it made my head spin, as they crossed the stage to receive their pin. Closing remarks were briefly made by one of the school officials, and then we were released to the reception. Before you get excited and think the drive-thru ceremony was salvaged by the reception, let me describe it to you. A table was set up pushed against the wall in the commons area, and it was impossible to get to as the 3rd wave of the student body was also eating lunch at the time. There was cake and punch, and because of the crowd, it took my daughter a good 5 minutes just to get a cup of punch, which she then took back to her lunch table to eat with her friends. I gave her a hug, told her I was proud of her and left. My entire drive to work, I got more and more upset and disillusioned. There was nothing special about what I had just attended. No student felt honored or set apart. Truthfully, for all the decorum and pomp the ceremony possessed, someone could have called all the students into the auditorium, and threw the pins from a basket to the crowd much like someone throws candy from a float to the spectators watching a parade. I discussed things with my daughter later, and she told me that to get in, all you had to do was achieve the grade point average required, and pay your dues, and you were in. We actually knew about this at the end of last year. She brought a form letter home in her backpack that said she had been invited to participate, and when her dues needed to be paid to be in the organization. She didn't regard it as an honor, or something to be revered, or anything special. Why? because no one treated it as such. Why has it become taboo to set individuals apart? To make someone feel special? At the end of last year, my daughter received an honor in her choir that was voted on by her peers. As a proud parent, I posted on Facebook the honor she received only to receive a comment that felt it was not right to set an individual apart as "the best" Why? If they are the best at what they do, why not tell them? Why not give students an example to follow, a goal to strive for? Wouldn't that make them work harder, achieve more? I read an editorial several months ago that was written by a father. His son was young and had played in a basketball league. For lack of a better way to put it, he was terrible! At the end of the season a banquet was held. The son was given a trophy for participating. As the father and son walked to their car after the banquet was over, the son asked the father what the trophy was for. The father answered that it was for participation to which the son replied, "That's stupid." When they arrived home, he threw the trophy into the closet, and it was never seen again. Pretty smart kid, if you ask me. In an effort to make everyone feel "special" we have made no one feel special. Rather than positive results from sending the message that everybody wins, we have created apathy, and instilled a lack of drive and ambition. We have indeed told America's youth that to succeed in life, all you have to do is show up. Nothing could be farther from the truth, and we have done them a disservice by leaving them completely unprepared for rejection and failure. If you're even close to my age, 50 in a few short weeks, raise your hand if you've never experienced rejection or failure. I'm relatively sure NONE of you can make that claim. What ever happened to learning from our mistakes, trying that much harder when we lose, because the next time we want to win, looking at someone who is the best, and setting our sites to be just like him or her? I read a quote today in an article, and it sums it up best, "When EVERYONE gets a trophy, no one wins!"