Someplace Where There Isn't Any Trouble...

 At the start of one of my all time favorite movies, The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy is running away from Miss Gulch's house with her precious dog, Toto. Toto has gotten into trouble for being in Miss Gulch's garden and biting her leg. Dorothy tries to get sympathy and understanding from everybody back on the farm, Aunt Em, Uncle Henry, the farmhands Hunk, Hickory and Zeke, but all are too busy. Finally, Aunt Em tells her, shooing her away, to find a place where there isn't any trouble. Of course what follows is the famous, Somewhere Over the Rainbow, as Dorothy contemplates just where a place like that could be.

Now, if you've seen the movie, you know that Dorothy does travel "over the rainbow" but finds out where she really wanted to be all along was home. She tells Glinda the lesson she's learned, " it's that if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard; because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with." I want to focus on those three words, my own backyard. My home has pretty much always been a wonderful place to be for me. I had parents and grandparents who loved me. I was fed and taken care of and encouraged and supported and even spoiled. Even as an adult when things weren't so great I never felt like I wasn't safe and happy at home. Last night I lay awake staring into the darkness telling God all the things I wanted to live to see: For my daughters to both be happy, to see my girls get married if that's what they choose, and my grandchildren if they are so inclined and we are blessed with that. I didn't sit there listing those things because I'm sick or I have some terminal illness. For the very first time in my life, I can say that I am truly scared. I was not even this scared when 9/11 happened. I was concerned, sad, shocked, but I wasn't as scared as I am now. I've had brain surgery twice, I was in a major car accident when I was young, and I've had Corona this past year. I was anxious about all of those things, but now I'm scared because my own backyard has become a powder keg. I know this may sound really weird, but when all those other things happened I had a strange calm. I knew I would be ok no matter what. I'm not so sure anymore. I was actually searching for places to live in Canada the other night. This is what scares me. There is no way to reason with the people that stormed the capitol. They were intent on doing harm. They were really, really angry. They were the text book definition of an angry mob. One guy even had the cliche pitchfork. They don't want to sit down and talk. They want a bloody battle, and I am afraid that they will stop at nothing to make sure they get it. So here I am laying it all out. This is me NOT putting on a brave face, and that is not my role. I am the one who holds it together, but right now, like Dorothy, I'm wishing I could be somewhere over the rainbow. Stay safe my friends and be careful.