Happy Anniversary...kinda.

I have, as the character Adrian Monk used to say about his ability, a gift and a curse. I have a really great memory. As I get older it's not as good as it used to be, but with certain things I have total recall. Especially events in my life. I can re-live them again and again exactly as they happened. I can see them, almost like a movie in my mind. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. Hence the gift and curse thing. This is going to be a weird post to some, maybe not so much to others. 28 years ago to this very moment I was probably just getting off the phone with a florist that was telling me that there was a hold up and my flowers might not make it on time. I was in the same house that I'm in right now. The week before I had turned 19, and I was getting ready to embark on an adventure. I was surprisingly calm, extremely uncharacteristic of me when I am getting ready for something huge like a party I am hosting. Even with the floral glitch, I was fine. I remember the florist saying, "Did you hear me?" when they told me they may not make it to the church on time. I was fine because I knew that day was going to be perfect no matter what. I had made a decision, I had made a commitment, and I knew that it was exactly where I wanted to be and doing what I wanted to do. Thinking back, I had a feeling of total Peace and calm that I can't remember feeling since. By now you have figured out that that beautiful, fall, Saturday 28 years ago was my wedding day.
Now, why am I blogging about my wedding day when I have been divorced for 10 years? Well, it's that "curse" thing. Every year, when November 6th rolls around, I can't help but think, "Today, I would have been married (insert appropriate number here) years." A lot of people can't remember their anniversary when they are married, but I remember mine, even though I am divorced. Why? Well it could have something to do with the fact that I am not with anyone, there is no new anniversary to celebrate, but probably it's just that memory of mine. I can't help it, it's my brain's fault. Do I regret the decision I made to marry? Did that wide-eyed, excited 19 year old know what she was doing? ABSOLUTELY! Every step on our path of life shapes who we are. If I had not married, I wouldn't have brought two of the most wonderful people into the world that I know. I'm not about regret. Everything happens for a reason. They are the reason I was married. Things didn't turn out the way 19 year old Terri thought they would. All the dreams of "Happily Ever After" were not to be, or were they? I have lived "happily ever after." I have a relationship with my daughters that most people would covet. We love each other, we're friends, we talk about everything! We three are happy! The fairytale just had a different kind of happy ending. So, today is my anniversary, but I'm not celebrating the wedding. I'm celebrating the beginning of the journey that led to my little family of three. The memories I've made and will continue to make with them, that's the "gift" part.