HAPPY Birthday to me!

Me on my 49th Halloween Birthday

At 1:20 PM today, I turned 49 years old. Birthdays change as you get older. When I was little, especially having a Halloween birthday, my thoughts were of what costume I would wear, and what costumes would be worn to my party, candy, treats, what special cake I would get that had to do with the Halloween theme. As an adult, my birthdays are spent reflecting on my life and how quick the years seem to pass now. Ok, so I still like to dress up, sue me. This past year has been chocked full of wonderful things! I spent the better part of 2012 playing a wonderful role in a play called "Always, Patsy Cline" It ran for 15 weeks last winter and spring, and then because it sold so well, they brought it back for 6 weeks in the summer. It was such a treat to be able to act for most of my 48th year, and I was honored to be nominated as Best Supporting Actress in a musical by our local critics here in Richmond. At last birthday, I was in the middle of directing my first show, Anything Goes, at my Alma mater, J. R. Tucker. The show opened in December, and it was a hit. I had a wonderful experience, and it left me with a hunger to direct again. Along with that show, I adopted a whole new group of children that I love and adore, and have formed special ties with that will never be broken. I watched my youngest daughter turn 16, and shopped for a dress for her first prom. In June, I had the privilege of chaperoning 4 very talented young ladies, one being my youngest daughter, to something called Harmony College, a 4 day session of workshops and coaching sessions and performances with her Beauty Shop quartet. I loved having the time with her, of course, but I also made a new friend, the other chaperoning mom. We roomed together in the college dorm, and became fast friends, as my youngest terms us "besties" In August, I had the bittersweet task of moving my oldest into college. It was very exciting, as she is the first one in our family to attend college, but it was also very sad for me letting go. I was proud of myself as I did not fall apart, thanks very much to my youngest and her support through it all. I have watched the posts on Facebook from my oldest daughter as she absolutely flourishes personally, academically and theatrically. She was cast as the lead in her freshman show, and she was asked to be the Freshman blog writer for the Theatre Department. She is very happy, and that makes things infinitely easier for me. Do I miss her? Of course, but as someone told me, it's the next step in her life, and if she didn't take it, things would not be right. My oldest away at college has also given me some wonderful one-on-one time with my youngest. She has spent much of her life getting slighted as the youngest often does. I even wrote a post about it. So I am glad to be able to give her some attention and really be there for her when she needs me. I attended my 30th High School reunion, and actually had a great time! I was with a dear, dear friend, and loved catching up with everyone else! And finally, just two weeks ago, I got to be an extra in my first commercial shoot. All in all it's been a grand year! For 49, I am extremely happy. I like myself, and who I am. I am proud of my accomplishments, but most of all, I am blessed, blessed with amazing kids, family and friends, but, most especially, blessed with love in my life. I won't receive any big gifts today, no diamond rings, no cars, no extravagant trips. I don't need those things. My life is just fine the way it is because I am truly happy! How many people can say that?

It was a dark and stormy night......

From the time I was very little I have kind of always been fascinated with the SUPERNATURAL, the UNEXPLAINED. Now, before my friends that read these posts that are Christians freak out and think I am talking about the occult or  black magic, no, I have not become a devil worshiper  I am still a Christian. I have a very strong faith. I happen to believe that this fascination can coexist with my deep faith. I have always liked, for lack of a better term, "Ghost Stories" I am not sure why I have this fascination. Perhaps it is because I was born on Halloween. It really doesn't matter, I have always been curious about ghosts and haunted houses, dreams that come true, clairvoyants, psychics, you name it. A friend of mine posted on Facebook that he was writing a blog about one of Virginia's oldest theaters and the "ghost stories" surrounding it. It got me to thinking. What a cool idea, and thus, this post. So, what I would like to create with this entry is a virtual campfire where we all sit around and tell "Ghost Stories" Not the Jason of Friday the 13th fame kind of story. I want to hear your real encounters, those strange things that happened to you that you can't explain, that you long filed away telling yourself there was a logical explanation, but secretly knowing that was a lie to make yourself feel comforted.
I'll start. When I was 10 years old, I was doing a show at a local theater. Theaters are notorious for having hauntings associated with them, but at age 10, I didn't know this. Later I would find that this theater did have a ghost, but when I had my encounter, I didn't know anything about it, so, all of you who are saying right now that I let my imagination get the best of me, I'm shooting a hole in that theory. There was a flat on the set that had a door in it that opened and closed. During the show, it would never stay closed. No matter how we tried to fix it, it would always drift open. I was crossing backstage behind that door, and someone grabbed my waist. I turned immediately, but no one was there. I thought it was odd, but I wasn't really scared until I walked back by the same place on my way back and whatever grabbed me, now pushed me, not hard, not a knock me to the ground push, more of a nudge, I guess, but definitely something physical. You guessed it. When I turned around, no one was there. I high tailed it back to the dressing room. Once I shared my experience, the stories just flowed about the theater's other worldly resident.
What's your story? If you would be so kind as to share by posting in the comment field of this blog, we can all share in the scare.

VA Lottery Commercial: That's a Wrap!

Last Friday was the BIG day. My call to show up on set as a "Background Artist" was 7:15 AM. I had to travel about 30 minutes, and I wanted to make sure I could find it, so my OCD, overly anxious self wanted to leave at 6:00 AM. This meant I was getting up at 5:00 AM, so I could arrive "camera ready" Let me give you a little background on that term. Once I was cast as a "Background Artist" I received a long email with all of my details about Friday's shoot. Call time: 7:15 AM, breakfast was being provided starting at 6:00 AM. The location, about 25 minutes away from me. Parking info, contact info. This was a big one, Wardrobe Notes: "Everyone should bring business casual attire that is seasonal.

 MEN should have a suit or a sport coat and slacks in blacks, tan,  blues or greys. Please bring dress shirts and coordinating ties. Please wear a watch and bring appropriate shoes.

 WOMEN please bring pants, dresses or skirts in blacks, grays, teals,  blues, tans or burgundies.  Blouses and/ or sweaters/ sweater sets are great.  Please bring  appropriate hosiery, shoes and jewelry." This presented a problem for me. I am a single mother. I don't make a lot of extra money. Since I have lost 50 lbs. in the last year and a half, I have one, yes I said, one pair of pants. I have dresses, but since it was a holiday commercial, we needed to be dressed in winter clothes. I was able to scrounge enough of those together, but I wasn't exactly sure what they wanted. And jewelry, PLEASE! I wear the same silver filigree hoops every day, and a watch. I very rarely accessorize anything unless it's a special occasion. Accessorizing is not a ritual the budget conscious engage in. I decided to bite the bullet and buy at least one pair of pants and a sweater to match and some cheap jewelry. The last instruction? Please come dressed and "camera ready" I have never done a commercial before. I assumed that "camera ready" meant hair and make-up needed to be done. Dilemma number two: I have no idea how to make up for the camera. I had a feeling that what I wear everyday was going to be too much. And, no, I do not paint myself up like a harlot, but I do wear dark lipstick and black eyeliner and black mascara because my features are very dark. Luckily I have people that I know who have done this sort of thing, and thanks to Facebook, I put out the feelers on make-up tips. I showed up with down played make-up, and it must have been fine because I was APPROVED by wardrobe. We started shooting around 8:30 AM. Now, as the term "Background Artist" indicates, I and all my other fellow "BA's" are in the background of the shot. This generally means, there is a lot of standing in one place, take after take after take. My first stint of standing (I like that alliteration!) is 3 hours, in heels. I would rather walk a mile in heels than stand in one place for 3 hours. Pretty soon my feet were screaming, but we're not done folks. We are "moving on" to the next set up shot. We broke for lunch around 2PM. Lunch is provided for us, and we are in the chow line, more standing. Finally I get my plate of salad, soft tacos, and rice and take a seat. Ahhhhhhhh! At this point I have to give you another back story. At the beginning of October I had a root canal done, (Bear with me. This has relevance. I swear!) I have a temporary crown in place, and I have been very careful to eat on the other side, not chew hard candy or gum. When I arrived on the set, I decided to partake in the breakfast fare. Bacon, one of my favorites, was one of the items offered. I took a bite of a very crunchy piece and immediately felt something in my gum on the side of my root canal tooth. I though I had scratched the gum, and really paid it no more attention as I had to shoot the commercial. I paid it no more attention until I took a bite of the soft taco, and it felt like a razor blade was cutting into my mouth. I decided to check out what was going on in the bathroom mirror. I had broken my tooth totally in two pieces right down the middle. I immediately called the dentist, and, of course, they want me to come in right then. Any other day, I could have, but today, I am shooting a commercial. It's a Friday, folks, so you know what that means. I can't see the dentist until Monday morning. I still have an afternoon of shooting to do, and all I can think about is my tooth. Luckily, I am not in pain, but definitely anxious, because the afternoon shoot involves cookies, and possibly eating them. We started shooting again around 3:30. Several times I thought I would have to take a bite, but narrowly escaped with the word "Cut" We wrapped at 8:30 PM. A 13 hour day! May I just say, if you have never been on a film set for anything and think it is an EASY job, you are wrong! It is a very tedious process, doing the same thing over, and over, and over, and looking fresh every time, even if you've done it 25 times. I collected my clothes, and when I got in the car to drive the 25 minutes back home at 9PM, I can't ever remember being more tired. Add to that, immense hunger and the broken tooth = one frazzled, on edge, me. Once I got home, I knew I would not be able to eat anything substantial because of aforementioned tooth. I decided on Broccoli Cheese soup from Jason's Deli. I looked online, so my daughter could look at the menu to decide what she wanted, and I placed the call at 9:30 PM. "I'm sorry. We/re CLOSED!" came the answer. I looked at my daughter, and I said, "I think I'm gonna cry." and that's exactly what I did. Poor thing, she was so confused by my wacky behavior, but  she was there for me, as she always is, and hugged me as the emotions of the day gushed forth in the form of gut wrenching sobs. Would I do it again? Maybe. I think I would make better choices: more comfortable shoes, and, oh yeah, I'll make a note to have all my teeth in tact. 

VA Lottery Commercial: Take 3

Well, I heard. I was not cast as a Principle in the commercial. Cue muted trumpet: ♪♫ Wah, wah, wah ♫♪ Oh, well, you win some, you lose some. The good news is that they did ask me to be a "Background Artist" which is apparently the new term for "Extra" I still get paid, and I get to work with a new group of people in a new genre for me. Anyone who is in this crazy business called show business will tell you that a huge amount of it is making connections, who you meet, work with, get your face in front of. You never know who will see you, and even though you're not right this time, if they are impressed with you, you might be perfect next time. So Friday, I will show up at the shoot bright and early, and play for the day with the VA Lottery folks. Sounds like a great way to spend a Friday to me!

VA Lottery Commercial: Take 2

So here I sit in a room full of other hopeful actors at the callback. All of us reading the side over and over again, so as to use that small amount of time we'll have with the director to our advantage. This particular day, they are running behind, so it's an even longer wait than I expect. For me, waiting a really long time at an audition is hard. I lose the edginess that the nervous adrenaline gives me. It's difficult to stay up and ready. Now at this point, I have to give you a little background on me and acting in front of a camera. People who know me and have read this blog before know most of my acting experience is on the stage. Acting for the stage and acting for the camera could not be further apart. On the stage, everything is big. On camera the most subtle move can be picked up and seen. 14 years ago I jumped into the deep end of acting for the camera. Because of a friend's connection to someone who was making an independent feature film, I was cast in a co-starring role in their film. I was pretty nervous the first day of shooting. The people at Paladin Pictures were incredibly patient with me. I'm sure I deafened the sound guy on the first take of the first scene. I was used to PROJECTING for the stage. The director yelled cut, and he came over to me and said, "Terri, that was really great, but we need you to be a little bit quieter." The first scene my character's ring was caught in the sink drain. Take 2: I'm thinking, okay, quieter, not so loud, Terri. ACTION! ....CUT! "Terri, that was really great, but you keep moving out of the shot." Boy, this is a really different world. Luckily, I had already been cast, and I got 6 weeks to learn while filming, and I ended up winning a best supporting actress award from an independent film festival for my portrayal. I haven't done any camera acting since then, so yesterday, when they finally called me in after waiting almost 4 hours, I was given some direction, and the camera started rolling. The director is watching me on a computer monitor. I have no lines. All I have to do is react to a tacky gift I am holding. The entire time I am "reacting" the director is saying, "Less. Less" And all I can think is, "How can I give less? I don't feel like I'm doing anything." We ended up doing it about 5 times. The last thing I did got a laugh, and they looked pleased, but who knows? I'll know by Tuesday, and when I know, you'll know. If I get it, I'm pretty sure my reaction won't be LESS.

VA Lottery Commercial: Take 1

Last week I received a notice in my email about casting for a VA Lottery TV commercial. I get routine emails about film castings, but normally I ignore them because having a regular job prohibits me from being able to attend most shooting schedules. This one was different. It was only a two day shoot, and auditions were quick. Having the wonderfully flexible boss that I do, I asked could she work with me to audition and shoot if I got it. Her response, as it always is, without hesitation, was SURE! I submitted for the commercial, and was thrilled when I received an email giving me a slot to audition. So...last Friday I made the trek to Charlottesville, VA to the casting office with a good friend who was also auditioning. The audition process was relatively painless, and the people at Erica Arvold Casting were wonderful - very friendly and encouraging. The whole thing took less than 10 minutes, and we were back on the road home to Richmond. And now, as every actor dreads after every audition, THE WAIT. The wait for the call for the job or a callback. For those who are reading this who are not familiar with the process, a callback is similar to making first cuts of an athletic team. You made it through the first stage, and now you have to come audition for more people or for the same people, but they might want to see you matched with other people or do something different. I was waiting for a callback. It would be a quick wait because callbacks were being held the following Thursday. The weekend went by, and no call. No big deal. I knew they were auditioning more people on Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday's work day came and went, and I had received no call, so I was hoping for extra work at this point. I came home. I cooked dinner and went straight to choir. I did not check my email when I got home from work. I arrived home from choir, and told my daughter that I guessed I hadn't gotten the callback because I never heard from them. I turned on my phone just to see if they'd left a voicemail while I was in choir. There was a voicemail on my phone. I still didn't think it would be from them. I was wrong! My face lit up like a Christmas Tree as I heard, "This is Michelle from Erica Arvold Casting." Luckily that wonderful boss I spoke of earlier read my email that I sent at 9:00PM on Wednesday evening letting her know I needed to go to the callback the following day, and that same response came back. Now....what to wear?

“If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” ― RuPaul

It has become the practice in this country to assign special awareness to different months of the year. February is American Heart Month. April is Child Abuse Prevention Month and so on. October has several causes for awareness. Most well known to me was Breast Cancer. Until this morning, I did not know that October was also dedicated to Bullying Prevention. Social and News Media is abuzz with a clip of an anchorwoman addressing a very cruel email sent to her attacking her because of her size. She handles the very hurtful and delicate subject with eloquence and class. I admire her. It had to be hard to read those words initially, but then to share them on television, and I am sure, now, through the magic of viral video, the world, had to take courage. She did it for a reason. To embarrass the writer? No, she never mentions his name. She used it as an example of How words affect us, ALL of us. She used it to tell children who don't realize, that what people like this person say to them doesn't matter. Their words don't change who you are. I have written posts about bullying before. We didn't call it bullying when I was in elementary school. It was called teasing. I was teased about things all through my middle and high school years. I'm not saying I was immune to it. I wasn't. Words hurt, but I handled it in a different way. It didn't bother me as much for one reason. I had been raised to love myself, not in a conceited or vain way, but to value myself as a person. I know my family loved me, and I didn't just love myself, I liked who I was. That's what this post is about.  If October is Bullying Prevention month, let's start with ending the bullying of ourselves. I talk with my daughters about everything in their lives. We have had countless conversations about the scores of kids in their schools who cut themselves, or spend their weekends high, or sleep around because they have zero self esteem. It breaks my heart! Lack of Self Respect is a disease that's running rampant, and it's eating our kids alive! "You is kind. You is smart. You is important." ~ Aibileen Clark from The Help. Such simple words, but oh the validation they provide. I thank God everyday that I never got into drugs in school. I never wanted to. I never had the desire. I thank God that my girls have never even considered it, and in their words, "It's just dumb!" When my girls were 2 and 5, their father left. For the rest of their lives until now he has pretty much been a visitor, not really taking an active role in their day-to-day lives. To many, this seems tragic, and, I guess it could have been, but I decided one very important thing when all of that happened. I decided not to change. I decided I wasn't going to over compensate for the absence of their father by showering them with gifts or letting them get away with things or cutting them slack when it came to behavior with the excuse of, "They're just acting out." I took some heat for that decision, but I knew that if I completely changed the way I had been parenting because of a poor decision their father made, their world would have crashed and burned, and they would not be the amazing strong women they are today. I loved them, and trusted them, and made a point to always be honest with them, even when the truth wasn't pleasant, and, yes, I disciplined them. Shocker: They don't hate me. I have two of the best relationships between children and parents that I know of. I've made the statement before that I wish I could reach out to all those kids who are hating themselves right now for whatever reason, and let them know how very wonderful they are, not just with my words, but from the way I treat them. You are responsible for your own happiness! No one can change who you are with words. Believe in yourself and the amazing creature you were created to be. Stop comparing yourself to others. Be the best YOU you can be. If you're the Best, there is nothing above that. There is no other you, so know one can be a better YOU than you can. It has to start somewhere, and what better place than within our own selves?