“If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” ― RuPaul

It has become the practice in this country to assign special awareness to different months of the year. February is American Heart Month. April is Child Abuse Prevention Month and so on. October has several causes for awareness. Most well known to me was Breast Cancer. Until this morning, I did not know that October was also dedicated to Bullying Prevention. Social and News Media is abuzz with a clip of an anchorwoman addressing a very cruel email sent to her attacking her because of her size. She handles the very hurtful and delicate subject with eloquence and class. I admire her. It had to be hard to read those words initially, but then to share them on television, and I am sure, now, through the magic of viral video, the world, had to take courage. She did it for a reason. To embarrass the writer? No, she never mentions his name. She used it as an example of How words affect us, ALL of us. She used it to tell children who don't realize, that what people like this person say to them doesn't matter. Their words don't change who you are. I have written posts about bullying before. We didn't call it bullying when I was in elementary school. It was called teasing. I was teased about things all through my middle and high school years. I'm not saying I was immune to it. I wasn't. Words hurt, but I handled it in a different way. It didn't bother me as much for one reason. I had been raised to love myself, not in a conceited or vain way, but to value myself as a person. I know my family loved me, and I didn't just love myself, I liked who I was. That's what this post is about.  If October is Bullying Prevention month, let's start with ending the bullying of ourselves. I talk with my daughters about everything in their lives. We have had countless conversations about the scores of kids in their schools who cut themselves, or spend their weekends high, or sleep around because they have zero self esteem. It breaks my heart! Lack of Self Respect is a disease that's running rampant, and it's eating our kids alive! "You is kind. You is smart. You is important." ~ Aibileen Clark from The Help. Such simple words, but oh the validation they provide. I thank God everyday that I never got into drugs in school. I never wanted to. I never had the desire. I thank God that my girls have never even considered it, and in their words, "It's just dumb!" When my girls were 2 and 5, their father left. For the rest of their lives until now he has pretty much been a visitor, not really taking an active role in their day-to-day lives. To many, this seems tragic, and, I guess it could have been, but I decided one very important thing when all of that happened. I decided not to change. I decided I wasn't going to over compensate for the absence of their father by showering them with gifts or letting them get away with things or cutting them slack when it came to behavior with the excuse of, "They're just acting out." I took some heat for that decision, but I knew that if I completely changed the way I had been parenting because of a poor decision their father made, their world would have crashed and burned, and they would not be the amazing strong women they are today. I loved them, and trusted them, and made a point to always be honest with them, even when the truth wasn't pleasant, and, yes, I disciplined them. Shocker: They don't hate me. I have two of the best relationships between children and parents that I know of. I've made the statement before that I wish I could reach out to all those kids who are hating themselves right now for whatever reason, and let them know how very wonderful they are, not just with my words, but from the way I treat them. You are responsible for your own happiness! No one can change who you are with words. Believe in yourself and the amazing creature you were created to be. Stop comparing yourself to others. Be the best YOU you can be. If you're the Best, there is nothing above that. There is no other you, so know one can be a better YOU than you can. It has to start somewhere, and what better place than within our own selves?