Someone Else's Skin

I can't remember the very first time I saw the film, To Kill a Mockingbird. I believe it was somewhere around my early 20's. I will turn 50 this October, and in the last 30 years I have probably watched it at least 5 times. I loved the film, and was even set to name my second child Atticus, but God gave me a girl. Seeing the film almost 30 years ago you would think that at sometime I would have read Harper Lee's novel that the book was based on. I am ashamed to say that I had not, until now. Back in July, I was cast in a local production of To Kill a Mockingbird. In some of our very early rehearsals, the director suggested that we read the novel to get a real feel of the background of the fictional town of Maycomb, Alabama, the setting for Lee's story. So, 2 weeks ago, I trotted into Barnes and Noble and bought the novel. Now, I am not much of a reader. It's not that I don't enjoy reading, I've just always been a child of television and movies. It was like pulling eye teeth to get me to do any of reading in high school. I became the master of skimming to get the general idea. In fact, I became so good at it, that I once received an A+ on a critical analysis I turned in on D. H. Lawrence's Sons and Lovers, a book I never read, but only skimmed with this comment, "This is one of the best critical analyses I have ever read on this book!" Go figure. So...I got lazy and coasted most of the time when it came to required reading. This time was different. I was really reading this book for research for a part on the stage, my true passion. I am so glad that I did. I finished it today, exactly two weeks after I started it. I cried several times. I laughed, and I thought....a lot! This book was written in 1960, 3 years before I was born. It's setting takes place in 1935, but the themes are just as relevant today, maybe even more so. Many people think this book is about race, black and white, and how we treat each other, and to some degree it is, but it's so much more. Atticus, after finding that his daughter, Scout, has had some trouble with her teacher at school tells her, "If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you'll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." I don't know about you, but I think that one simple trick, as Atticus puts it, is the answer to world peace. I can't say that I always do that as I encounter people each day. I'm surprised, considering I must have heard my grandmother say a million times that we should follow the golden rule. If you don't know what that is, I'll enlighten you, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." As I read this beloved story, Harper Lee put me in someone else's skin several times, the falsely accused Tom Robinson, the physically abused Mayella Ewell, the neglected Dill Harris, the poverty stricken Cunninghams, the courageous addict, Mrs. Dubose,  and of course, the reclusive Boo Radley. As I "walked around" in their skin, I learned a thing or two about myself, and hopefully next time a situation arises,  I won't be so quick to pass judgement or assume the worst about someone, and maybe, just maybe, they might extend me the same courtesy.

Give Us Dirty Laundry

One of my friends on Facebook shared a photo last night. I looked at the photo, read the name, but didn't recognize it, and scrolled on to play my next level of "Candy Crush" Then this morning, another friend of mine posted this status, Maybe one day a person who saves countless children's lives will get as much attention and recognition as a person who takes them. Why is the media negative? Because that's what we tell them we want. It made me think of the Don Henley song, "Dirty Laundry" 


We got the bubble-headed bleached blond comes on at 5,
She can tell you 'bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eye,
It's interesting when people die,
Give us dirty laundry.
We have become a society who crave tragedy! We relish in celebrities woes! We want that dirty laundry! Now, before people get offended, I am not pointing fingers at anyone in particular, and when I say "we", I am not actually accusing anyone who reads this of being a ravenous wolf salivating at the prospect of seeing death, destruction and mayhem. I am merely making an observation. Case in point: Let's go back to the picture I mentioned above. The photo shared was that of Antoinette Tuff. For those of you who do not know who that is, she is the bookkeeper, yes, you read that right, the bookkeeper who talked an armed gunman into surrendering his weapons at an Atlanta Elementary school yesterday. The result? Over 800 students, an undisclosed number of staff, police officers on the scene, and even the shooter walked away from the scene without a scratch! I had to do a google search for "Georgia Elementary School" to find her name and the story. Of the 14 hits that came up on the first page, only 2 talk about Antoinette. The others are about the gunman, the AK47, and the shots fired. I saw nothing on Facebook when this was unfolding except one mention of a gunman at a Georgia Elementary School, and then nothing else until my friend shared Antoinette's photo last night. I have two local news station that come up in my news feed. Obviously, once it was over, and no one was hurt, I'm guessing, the story didn't make the cut for the teaser to go to the news station's website or watch the evening's broadcast. No, Antoinette's heroism and bravery were trumped by the three psychopath assholes who killed a jogger because they were bored. We read of the stories of the gladiators fighting to the death and feeding people to live animals while 1000's cheered, and we think it disgusting and vile and uncivilized, but is today's media frenzy obsessed with death and destruction really that different? And if we stopped watching, and turned it off, and stopped sharing it through social media, wouldn't they stop? I caught myself today. The story of the jogger killed came up on my news feed, and I got ready to share it on my timeline with my proclamation of my shock and disgust, and I stopped myself. I'm going to try very hard from this day forward to share good news. Does that mean I won't speak out against injustice? NO! But it does mean that I will stop and think before I hit that share button what and why I'm actually sharing. 

The Man Who Made the Shower Curtain Terrifying

Today is Alfred Hitchcock's birthday. I was never a big  fan growing up, and to this day, I still have never seen Psycho. It wasn't that I didn't like Hitchcock films. I just never gave them a chance because I was a big chicken. Then, in my late 20's, I was working for Time-Life. They had just broken into selling video and music series in addition to book series. Every year they held a big sale of all the current offerings at low, low prices for their employees. Books for $1. Videos for $5 and CD's for $3. I purchased a copy of a film called Notorious. It starred Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant, two of my favorite stars from that era. I didn't really pay attention to the fact that it was a Hitchcock film. I popped it into the VCR and watched it for the first time. It was released in 1946 and centers around the espionage and intrigue of World War II and the Nazis. It's really a mystery and suspense movie, not a scary movie, which is why I liked it so much. I had always thought all of Hitchcock's films were like Psycho and The Birds. Those genres were not to my liking, but with this new discovery of Hitchcock's mystery genre, I went in search of other titles. Thus began my pilgrimage to the master of suspense. In those days you could not get your movies streaming on your laptop, in fact there were no laptops. You had to go to the Blockbuster Video, yes video; not DVD, store and rent them. I started with  Rope, then Spellbound,  Strangers on a Train, Vertigo, The Man Who Knew Too Much, Rebecca, Dial M for Murder and my all time favorite, Rear Window. 

A few years back Hollywood tried to recreate this movie magic with a film called Disturbia. They failed. Hitchcock has a definite style. It's very slow and methodical. Nothing big and flashy. The best turn in this clip is the slow take that Raymond Burr takes directly into the camera, and you know. That was Hitchcock, drawing you in with every take. The top grosser of all time is of course, Psycho. As I said, I've never seen it, and I doubt I ever will. Of course, I'm sure it doesn't touch some of the things that I've seen on Criminal Minds or Supernatural, but I still don't want to see it. Without it, I still look behind the shower curtain every time I go in a bathroom where it is drawn. I don't need anything else to fuel my fire of fear and paranoia. The fact that I am not alone in that fear , I'm sure, is pleasing to Mr. Hitchcock, wherever he is. He made us look at every flock of birds in a different way. He made us wonder about the stranger next to us, and he made us hold our breath hoping someone would arrive to save our hero or heroine. Thank you for making our hearts beat a little faster in the dark!

Phoenix Rising

Recently I had the opportunity to meet a wonderful young man. I had the privilege of watching him perform. He had it all, the quintessential triple threat. He could sing. He could dance, and he could act. Often times when one is so talented, especially at a young age, they are less than humble. Not the case with this young man, he was humble and polite, and he had a genuineness about him. I liked him immediately, and that is not usually the case with me. When watching someone like that, I think we tend to believe that they must have a great life, look at how happy and full of joy they seem. I was amazed to find that this young man had not had such a perfect life, and had dealt with his share of adversity. Yet, here he was, this example of everything life had to offer. It made me stop and look at my own life and the lives of my girls. If you would ask most of the people who have crossed my path whether briefly or for a lifetime, most would say that I am a very upbeat person. I have a positive attitude. I smile A LOT, and I am known for my hearty laugh. No one would guess that my life has been dotted, from infancy almost, with the consuming fire of challenge and tragedy. Now, before I even continue, let me say that this is not a blog about gaining pity or sympathy from anyone. My first brush with adversity, admitting that I cannot remember, came when I was 6 months old. I clinically died having stopped breathing from a serious bout with pneumonia. That was in 1963, and no parents took courses in infant CPR. My father did the only thing he could think of to get me to start breathing. He held me upside down by my feet and struck me on the back, and I began to breathe. First fire extinguished. I rose out of those ashes and started into childhood, a great one, and then at the age of 11, I was in a terrible car accident and the back passenger side window exploded in my face resulting in over 100 stitches in my forehead, nose and right eyelid. Oh, did I mention all I ever wanted to be was an actress, and entertainer? This second fire would be a little harder to overcome. It would bring years of surgeries and teasing, but I continued to rise above the challenges and endure the pain of surgery all the while still auditioning every chance I got. I continued to get work, even landing a modeling job for a newspaper print ad at the age of 20, just 9 years after the accident. In 1991, I lost my first child to miscarriage. I was devastated by this fire, but still came through and went on to have two beautiful children. And finally in 1998 I would face the worst fire of all. My marriage of 15 years to my high school sweetheart and the love of my life ended when he walked out after months of having an affair leaving me with nothing. Surely this would be the fire that would consume me totally. There was no way of rising out of these ashes, but I did. It really is true. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I was determined not to let this last fire leave me in nothing but burned memories and broken pieces. I had two little girls to raise. Two little girls, now 17 and 20, who have become a phoenix in their own lives and like the young man that I met, have grown into bright and talented young women with every opportunity the world has to offer despite the fire that began their lives. If you are reading this and you are walking through your own fire right now, know that you can get through it, and you, like all of us, will rise out of the ashes a beautiful bird ready to soar.