I Get the Message!

Isn't it funny when something speaks to you that you seem to see that same running theme everywhere? It's kind of like when you buy a new car in a color that seems unique at the time, and then every car you see on the road is that same color, the one you thought was so exclusive just a day ago. Lately it seems I am surrounded by people who are going through challenges, and it made me think of the challenges in my own life. More importantly, it made me reflect on how I handled and continue to handle them. I have never been a wallower ( I'm pretty sure that's not a word), but meaning I have never been one when faced with a particular problem, trial, challenge, whatever you want to call it that I sit and wallow and lament my situation. In fact, I think sometimes people think I'm a little callous or unfeeling because my attitude is not "Why, Why, Why?" It's "This sucks!, but how are we going to deal with it?" This is not to say that I think no one should be able to be sad or emotional when they get slammed with this wonderful thing called life. Believe me, I have done my share of crying, but it's the letting those circumstances bog you down, control you, guide your every move and thought that I'm condemning. My daughter wrote her own blog post today dealing with this same subject. My other daughter was dealing with some issues of her own surrounding, again, this same subject. Today as I read one's blog and talked with the other as she helped a friend, I couldn't help but be proud and in awe of what awesome women they have become. Neither one is a stranger to struggle or adversity. As I have shared in this blog many times before they both had a hard blow dealt them when they were very young. Struggle has been more the norm than the occasional occurrence, and yet they have persevered and become stronger for it. At the risk of crossing the line into "patting myself on the back" territory, I think a lot of how they deal with life came from the fact that I have never sugar-coated anything! I always tell the truth, even when it's not so easy to hear. I have encouraged them, and I am always in their corner, but I have never given them false hope about any situation. I have never been the mom that when my kid came home from preschool with a picture they colored entirely brown to say, "Oh, Honey, That's beautiful!" rather I would question, "Why didn't you use any other colors?"  Some would think me awful for that, but my honesty opens a dialogue about color and feelings and all sorts of things. What is fair in encouraging anyone to do something they really have no talent for? If you are not honest with your child about their abilities or lack of, in some cases, and you constantly tell them that they are good or, worse yet, the best at something, they will believe you, and someday someone will deliver the crushing blow that they really have no talent at all, and they are left questioning why you lied to them all of those years. I'm rambling, but the basic thought is this. Life is hard! People make mistakes. You can't always be the best. Sometimes things don't work out. The triumph is not in winning but surviving and becoming stronger when you lose.

♫♪ I Fall Asleep Counting My Blessings ♪♫

In recent days I have found myself praying for some very close friends facing major challenges in their life, some  physical, some emotional, all difficult. These people have been on my mind and heart for days. I know that not everyone reading this is a praying person, but I am, and I find that sometimes it is the ONLY thing I can do. Prayer gets a bad rap. So many believe that if they pray for something, and it doesn't happen that their prayer is not being heard or answered. Well, sometimes what we pray for is not what is supposed to be. Now, at this point, some of you are saying, then what is the use of praying? Prayer, for me, is not a time for wishes to be granted, although, there are still many times that I find myself with that list that is more suited to sending to Santa Claus rather than God. Sometimes prayer is just about comfort and guidance, especially in a difficult situation. I do not presume to know all the answers of the universe, which is precisely why I pray. I believe in a God who does. That is comforting to me. One of the situations I am praying for right now is about an infant who is literally fighting for his life. His mother journals about what is going on, and yesterday she said, "Pray for peace." What an incredible faith! Peace may come in many different forms, including the loss of her child, and the human part, the selfish part of us wants that child to stay here with us, no matter what, but staying may mean pain and suffering. I know miracles can happen. I believe that, so please don't take this that I don't have hope, I do. We all do. Hope is something we cling to in the worst of times. It has gotten me through more times than I can count. Praying for others also helps me. I find it comforting that there is a plan, that I am not holding all the cards or controlling the situation. I am able to unburden that, and that is a relief.
All of us go through trials. It is part of life, and there is no comparison when it comes to suffering. I always say suffering is relative. I always hated it, and still do, when I was or am going through something that, to me, was awful, and someone would say that things could be worse, and compare my suffering to someone else's situation that trumped my own. Yes, there are definitely people worse off than I am, but knowing that doesn't make what I'm going through any easier. When I am faced with the hardships that friends and family are enduring, it does make me examine my own life and appreciate the joys and blessings that I do have instead of taking them for granted. In the movie "White Christmas", Bing Crosby sings a song that is exactly what I am talking about. The lyrics are, "When I get worried, and I can't sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep, and I fall asleep counting my blessings." Yes, I have had my share of suffering, but my blessings are abundant. Some of which I would not have had it not been for the suffering, blessings in disguise I guess you could say, and for that I am TRULY grateful!