2014..a look back.

So...it's over. The last post I wrote was about enjoying Christmas and not rushing here and there trying to cram everything holiday into the small window of time that I didn't stop to enjoy it. I am happy to say that I came pretty close to succeeding. Whether it was the fact that I didn't have time to rush around because I was working 1 full time job and 2 part time jobs or I took my own advice I'm not sure, but it was a much more laid back Christmas than I have had in years. It gave me some time to reflect on everything that has changed, some for the worse, but most for the better, in 2014. One of the most significant things that happened in 2014 was a double-edged sword for me. My baby graduated High School with honors last June. I was so proud of her, but I was also very sad. This was the end of school days for me. She has always been independent, but this marks society's definition of "no longer a child," and my role as a mother changes. This also marked the law's definition of adulthood, and child support ended in the middle of June, a day after she graduated. Because of this reduction in family income, I began to search for a part-time job, and in August I was hired to work with a local preschool with 2 and 3 year olds. I was excited but also extremely nervous. I am 51, and I haven't dealt with little ones in a LOONNGGG time! Would I be able to handle this? Would they like me? Would I be able to handle it physically? It was one of the sweetest experiences of my year. Physically, it was demanding, but 40 new little people made their way into my heart, and I will remember them for a very long time.
After working 9 years at my present job, I finally received a promotion. This, too, was a double edged sword as I was required to give up my job at the preschool. I will definitely miss the money, but it was heartbreaking to leave all those little faces. My new job is a challenge for many reasons, and I know it will take some time to settle in, but in the long run, I think it will be for the best.
In March of 2014, something very exciting happened! My oldest daughter was accepted as a transfer to a prestigious University, and would be moving back home. My little family of 3 would be under one roof again, and at the end of her very difficult first semester, she ended 2014 with all A's and B's. My youngest began college last fall and closed out the year with a 3.6 GPA. They both will do great things! They are the first 2 to go to college in our family, and I am in awe of them!
Physically, I made a big change in 2014. I decided to stop coloring my hair. I started getting gray hair in high school, just a stray here and there, but by the age of 22, the strays had grown enough for me to start coloring my hair. I have been coloring my hair dark brown for almost 30 years, but when my income reduced, I looked for any way to save money, and coloring my hair was something easy, so I stopped. The overall consensus is people love it. In fact some people think I have bleached my hair. It took me longer to get used to it, but I actually love it, and am very glad I took the plunge.

I have no idea what 2015 will hold for me. I'm a little anxious about things like finances and how the economy will affect me, but isn't everyone? I'm not really a resolution maker, but I do want to tackle 2015 with less stress, and live one day at a time. My mantra this year will be the prayer of serenity. I wish you the same!

I Wish......

In less than 12 hours my baby, my little girl, will walk across a stage and shake the Principal's hand and be handed a piece of paper, and in about 90 minutes, 13 years of classes, and papers and homework will all come to an end. How is this possible? This is going to sound so cliche, but where does the time go? I swear it was just yesterday that I was worried that if I got a new job that I had interviewed for that I might not be able to watch my baby get on the bus for her very first day of kindergarten. I can still see her in that denim, jumper and purple striped shirt with her, as she has dubbed it, her Dora the Explorer haircut. So much has happened in these 13 years. Lots of ups, a few downs, but always, we went through them together. I'm not going to turn this post into a bragfest. I have written many times about how proud I am of her accomplishments. What I will make this about is what I wish for her. I wish that she will always see how incredibly beautiful she is, and no matter what, that will never change because her beauty shines from the inside. I want her to realize how very talented she is and be confident in what she has to offer. More than anything, I want her to be happy with her choices in life and love and relationships. She has so much to offer as a friend, a wife and, yes, even a mother, someday...NO RUSH, and I mean that. I wish that she will always know that I am here for her no matter what, even if she thinks that what she's going to tell me will make me mad or disappointed, I want her to know that she can tell me ANYTHING. I hope that she will always look back on her childhood as a happy one even with its financial struggles and being raised in a single parent home. I hope that she will look back on the mistakes I have made and remember that most of the time I owned up to them and apologized. I hope that she will remember that I didn't just hear her, I listened to her. More than anything I wish for her true success, the kind that comes from doing what you love and doing it well. So, my sweet girl, as you enter this next phase of your life, make the choices that make YOU happy, even if everyone around you tells you you are foolish. You are so bright, and you, and only you, know the best path to take. Thank you for letting me be on the path with you these past 13 years, and as you now walk ahead, know that I am right behind you. Love you hug you!

2013...An Amazing Year!

We've been in 2014 for about 2 1/2 hours, so I decided to sit down and write about my 2013 and maybe put a little bit out there about some things I might expect in 2014. I started 2013 doing something I love and I ended it the same way. I had the incredible fortune to get a call last January from a wonderful director that I had never had the opportunity to work with, Steve Perigard. He was directing Noel Coward's Hayfever for Va-Rep, and the actress playing the maid, Clara, had to drop out of the show. He was asking me if I'd like to do it. Well, of course I said yes, and thus began my year acting. It was a wonderful experience, and more importantly I made some amazing new friends. In the spring I took over the role of audience member and saw my baby tear up the role of Anita in her high school's production of West Side Story. Saying I was a proud mother would be an understatement. In the beginning of May I celebrated two things, my oldest having an incredible freshman year in college and the fact that I survived a year of not having her at home. In the summer I took a little break from the stage to watch both of my girls in productions of their own. In July I found out that I had been cast in one of my all time favorites, To Kill a Mockingbird, again with Va-Rep. We had a long rehearsal process and opened in September. It was a fabulous experience, and I got to meet Mary Badham, the Oscar nominated actress who played Scout in the film, a real treat for this film geek! When Mockingbird closed I went right into rehearsal, again for Va-Rep, for A Lugnuts Christmas, an original musical. That's how I closed out my year, and I will also start 2014 acting thanks to Va-Rep as Lugnuts runs for one more week. I have worked more as an actress this year than I have in my 40 year career, and I hope it will continue in 2014!
There were also some incredible losses in 2013. The person I called my father-in-law for 15 years lost his battle with several health issues, and left this world on his own terms. Shortly after his 50th birthday, my cousin left us quite unexpectedly, the victim of a pulmonary embolism. It really made me view my own mortality as he was one of the healthiest people I knew.
What will 2014 hold? For one I will watch my baby turn 18 in exactly one month from today. She will also graduate from high school, and I will officially become an empty nester, a little scary for me. This particular year will hold some rough challenges for me, but I have faith that God has always had a plan for me, and I will get through. "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer. 29:11