♪♫ You Can't Always Get What You Want ♫♪

I have spent the better part of today listening to people who are disappointed. Some take it as part of life and move on.Some want to whine a little but still accept it, and then there are the few that refuse to accept it and demand that the situation MUST be changed! This isn't possible! How can I be denied anything? And then they begin the process of trying to change it. When did it become the norm that life is always exactly the way we want it, and disappointment never occurs? That has never been the world I've grown up in, nor was it the world I raised my children into. What people fail to realize is there is no good without the existence of bad, and sometimes the answer is "NO" What kind of fragile, glass world are you building for a child if you arrange everything in their life to go exactly the way they want it? You may buck the odds for a time and be able to succeed, but each year that goes by untouched by failure or hurt or sadness sets that child up for that one day when the disappointment will come, and instead of it being a small crack to cope with, that glass world will shatter into a million pieces. By making everything run smooth until that point, you have taught that child nothing about coping. In all of your grandiose efforts to keep anything from going wrong, you've actually hurt them in the process. Disappointment is part of life, and often it's the things that go wrong that make us stronger and equip us for the next derailment of our oh so perfectly planned life. Two years ago, just about this time, we found out that my oldest daughter would not be going to the college of her dreams, and for a while, we were devastated. Instead of putting all our efforts in trying to change that outcome, we focused, instead, on acceptance and making another plan. One year ago, about this same time, we found out that she would be attending another college, and in a few short weeks, she will have finished her first year there. She could not be happier. She is thriving and happier than I have seen her in a very long time. She is where she is supposed to be, but if she had spent all of her time when she received that disappointing news trying in vain to change it and refusing to accept the answer, "NO" she would not have opened herself to the possibility of a new college and would be miserable. You can't always get what you want, but you might just get what you need.

HAPPY Birthday to me!

Me on my 49th Halloween Birthday

At 1:20 PM today, I turned 49 years old. Birthdays change as you get older. When I was little, especially having a Halloween birthday, my thoughts were of what costume I would wear, and what costumes would be worn to my party, candy, treats, what special cake I would get that had to do with the Halloween theme. As an adult, my birthdays are spent reflecting on my life and how quick the years seem to pass now. Ok, so I still like to dress up, sue me. This past year has been chocked full of wonderful things! I spent the better part of 2012 playing a wonderful role in a play called "Always, Patsy Cline" It ran for 15 weeks last winter and spring, and then because it sold so well, they brought it back for 6 weeks in the summer. It was such a treat to be able to act for most of my 48th year, and I was honored to be nominated as Best Supporting Actress in a musical by our local critics here in Richmond. At last birthday, I was in the middle of directing my first show, Anything Goes, at my Alma mater, J. R. Tucker. The show opened in December, and it was a hit. I had a wonderful experience, and it left me with a hunger to direct again. Along with that show, I adopted a whole new group of children that I love and adore, and have formed special ties with that will never be broken. I watched my youngest daughter turn 16, and shopped for a dress for her first prom. In June, I had the privilege of chaperoning 4 very talented young ladies, one being my youngest daughter, to something called Harmony College, a 4 day session of workshops and coaching sessions and performances with her Beauty Shop quartet. I loved having the time with her, of course, but I also made a new friend, the other chaperoning mom. We roomed together in the college dorm, and became fast friends, as my youngest terms us "besties" In August, I had the bittersweet task of moving my oldest into college. It was very exciting, as she is the first one in our family to attend college, but it was also very sad for me letting go. I was proud of myself as I did not fall apart, thanks very much to my youngest and her support through it all. I have watched the posts on Facebook from my oldest daughter as she absolutely flourishes personally, academically and theatrically. She was cast as the lead in her freshman show, and she was asked to be the Freshman blog writer for the Theatre Department. She is very happy, and that makes things infinitely easier for me. Do I miss her? Of course, but as someone told me, it's the next step in her life, and if she didn't take it, things would not be right. My oldest away at college has also given me some wonderful one-on-one time with my youngest. She has spent much of her life getting slighted as the youngest often does. I even wrote a post about it. So I am glad to be able to give her some attention and really be there for her when she needs me. I attended my 30th High School reunion, and actually had a great time! I was with a dear, dear friend, and loved catching up with everyone else! And finally, just two weeks ago, I got to be an extra in my first commercial shoot. All in all it's been a grand year! For 49, I am extremely happy. I like myself, and who I am. I am proud of my accomplishments, but most of all, I am blessed, blessed with amazing kids, family and friends, but, most especially, blessed with love in my life. I won't receive any big gifts today, no diamond rings, no cars, no extravagant trips. I don't need those things. My life is just fine the way it is because I am truly happy! How many people can say that?