A Little Less

I am sitting in my living room at 10:50 PM on New Year's Day with a little less. Usually "less" gives a negative connotation, and some of my "less" is negative. I have a little less money than last year, less time off, but I also have less debt, less stress and less sickness. This past Christmas, more than any other in recent years, I bought less. I'm not sure if it was because some counted on money didn't come through, or I found just the right things, but I knew I didn't have the money, and I made it work. Thanks to my little angel, Georgi, the house was clean, and we were able to enjoy all of our Christmas decorations, 3 trees and lighted garland on the mantle. I didn't feel rushed, and I probably had less time to prepare for Christmas this year than I have in years. What was the difference? I'm pretty sure I was happy this year, not that I haven't been happy in years before this year, I have, but I always let a lot of negative crap get in the way. It's amazing when you look back on something from a different place. The things I used to let bother me were so petty. I know. I'm rambling, but I guess what I'm trying to say is no matter what is going on around you life is what you make it. Yes, I realize that is cliche', and I've heard it thousands of times, but I really lived it this year. I can choose to be happy or not, and I'm sorry to say, for years I let myself be unhappy. I chose to focus on the negative and complain about it. Sorry girls! I'm not really a resolution type girl, but I am resolving that in 2018 I will try to be positive, and at the very least I will not dwell on the negative. Some very profound losses happened in 2017 that really made me think about what is important. Time is fleeting, and I am determined to make the most of it even if it's with a little less.

VA Lottery Commercial: Take 2

So here I sit in a room full of other hopeful actors at the callback. All of us reading the side over and over again, so as to use that small amount of time we'll have with the director to our advantage. This particular day, they are running behind, so it's an even longer wait than I expect. For me, waiting a really long time at an audition is hard. I lose the edginess that the nervous adrenaline gives me. It's difficult to stay up and ready. Now at this point, I have to give you a little background on me and acting in front of a camera. People who know me and have read this blog before know most of my acting experience is on the stage. Acting for the stage and acting for the camera could not be further apart. On the stage, everything is big. On camera the most subtle move can be picked up and seen. 14 years ago I jumped into the deep end of acting for the camera. Because of a friend's connection to someone who was making an independent feature film, I was cast in a co-starring role in their film. I was pretty nervous the first day of shooting. The people at Paladin Pictures were incredibly patient with me. I'm sure I deafened the sound guy on the first take of the first scene. I was used to PROJECTING for the stage. The director yelled cut, and he came over to me and said, "Terri, that was really great, but we need you to be a little bit quieter." The first scene my character's ring was caught in the sink drain. Take 2: I'm thinking, okay, quieter, not so loud, Terri. ACTION! ....CUT! "Terri, that was really great, but you keep moving out of the shot." Boy, this is a really different world. Luckily, I had already been cast, and I got 6 weeks to learn while filming, and I ended up winning a best supporting actress award from an independent film festival for my portrayal. I haven't done any camera acting since then, so yesterday, when they finally called me in after waiting almost 4 hours, I was given some direction, and the camera started rolling. The director is watching me on a computer monitor. I have no lines. All I have to do is react to a tacky gift I am holding. The entire time I am "reacting" the director is saying, "Less. Less" And all I can think is, "How can I give less? I don't feel like I'm doing anything." We ended up doing it about 5 times. The last thing I did got a laugh, and they looked pleased, but who knows? I'll know by Tuesday, and when I know, you'll know. If I get it, I'm pretty sure my reaction won't be LESS.