Happy "Like A Father's" Day

Two days ago America celebrated Father's Day, the day children give their dad  homemade cards and ties, and Mom gets him what he really wants, power tools and barbecue grills. My kids don't really do much on Father's Day. Their dad was not a daily presence in their life growing up as he left when they were 2 and 5. This post is about honoring people who have been their "Dads" as they've grown and through different stages of their life. Back in 1998 when we found ourselves a family of 3 instead of 4, we had no choice but to move in with my parents. Luckily they had a large enough home to accommodate us with out too much adjustment. I had planned when I had children to be a stay-at-home Mom, but, now, finding myself single, I had to get a job. I was adamant about not putting my 2 year old in Daycare. For one reason, I could not afford it, but I wanted them to be with me, and if not, the person needed to be a close friend or family member. My dad stepped up to the plate. He took on fatherhood a third time to give my girls a "Daddy" on a daily basis! They both had a wonderful relationship with him, and I know he adored them both. He picked them up from school and preschool, and he was there in the afternoon sitting on the porch when they got off the bus until COPD did not allow him to sit outside. He died in 2007 when they were 11 and 14, and I know it was as if they had lost their own father not just their grandfather. I am so grateful they were able to get to know him and spend precious time with him. Happy Father's Day Papa!
Both of my girls went to a very small elementary school in Henrico County called Pemberton. John Harding was the principal there for most of Leah's years and all of Georgi's. He was a wonderful mentor to my girls, and he was hugely supportive of their performing talents. He was a constant source of encouragement for them all through their grade school years. I am sure that his confidence in them at such early stages of singing and acting helped shape their love of the Arts all through their secondary school and now college careers. Happy Father's Day, Mr. Harding!
In 2004, we joined Derbyshire Baptist Church. I had been invited by a co-worker to her church because she knew I loved to sing, and her church had a wonderful music program. My girls and I were looking for a church. We visited one Sunday. I was very impressed with everything but especially the music. After the service, the minister of music, David Schwoebel, sought me out to speak to me. He was more than friendly and welcoming, but he did something I had never seen before, and that one thing made me decide right then and there that this was the church I was going to make my church. We had visited other churches, and quite frankly, some jumped on us, and by us, I mean me,  like we were porterhouse steaks that had been thrown into a lion's den, vying for that next family to grow their numbers. Not only did David Schwoebel make me feel like a person and not a number, he made a point to speak to both of my girls standing beside me, who were 9 and 12 at the time. He obviously thought they were important too. He asked them questions treating them, as anyone should, like they were part of the decision making process. He has supported them through all of their years at Derbyshire as they have sung in his children's, IMAGE Youth and Jubilate College choirs. He has attended their school plays and offered countless assistance with projects for school, or practice for an audition, or playing parts for Honors Choir or Quartet practice, all out of the goodness of his heart in his spare time, which for David Schwoebel, is a rare commodity. My oldest has said more than once that when it came time for her to get married, she could see Mr. Schwoebel walking her down the aisle. He has been a great resource for our family, but more than that he has been a great friend! Happy Father's Day, Mr. Schwoebel!
These three men all had their own families, but they took the time to be an important influence in my girls' lives. They and I are richer because we have known them, and they deserve to be celebrated!

First, Let Me Take a Selfie

Last week at my daughter's baccalaureate service, one of the speakers addressed the issue of technology in his speech. He talked about the fact that 30 years ago when he graduated high school, there were no iPads, no iPods, no Internet, and no cellphones. He then made a joke with the last item listed that without cellphones there were no "selfies." Now, I am the first one to admit that I am definitely challenged in the selfie taking department, my girls, however are experts. But, as bad as I am at taking them, I wish I had had the technology to do so when I was in high school or all through my childhood for that matter. Why? Today is Father's Day, and I lost my dad almost 7 years ago. I wanted to post a picture on Facebook of me and my dad together, and found I really don't have that many pictures of Daddy and me together, even the old fashioned kind that had to be taken somewhere to be developed. My dad was not in front of the camera a lot. I guess a lot of that falls on the fact that he was probably the photographer most of the time when I was growing up. The few pictures that I do have of my family of 4 (Me, my sister, my mom and my dad) are when I am much older and usually taken at weddings like the one I included with this post. That makes me sad. My dad was a very handsome man, and I treasure the pictures I do have of him especially since he's gone. I am extremely grateful to have several pictures of my dad with my girls. And more so that they have the memories to go along with those pictures. Even though we lost daddy way too soon, my girls had the opportunity to really get to know and love him. When they look at pictures of themselves with their Papa, they remember, and it isn't just some picture that someone has told them, that's you and your grandpa. I think about my dad today and how much he would have loved the technology of today and really gotten into it. He would have marveled at the speed of being able to obtain knowledge in a matter of seconds at your fingertips with the touch of a button. Truth be told, he probably had the idea in his head for some of the technologies we enjoy today as he was always inventing, he just never took it to the next level. I miss him, and his crosswords, and his Reader's Digest, and his vocab quizzes and his Jumble. I miss our conversations, even our heated ones, and I really miss his laugh! Just recently I found an old cassette tape that was recorded about 40 years ago, and I can hear my dad laughing on it. That was something I'd forgotten the sound of. I was amazed just how much my laugh sounds like his. Happy Father's Day, daddy! I wish you were here to take a selfie of us laughing together.

Just a Day

Father's Day ended 15 minutes ago. This day has been just another day for me for several years now since my sweet daddy died. My children are not really involved in their father's life, so this day comes and goes without much to do, but because my sister posted a wonderful status about my dad, I have been thinking about him for the past hour. I probably didn't say it near enough when he was alive, but Thank you, Daddy! And yes, he was my "Daddy" I called him Dad occasionally, and for a while we went through a "Pop" phase, but even as an adult I called him Daddy. Through my childhood and teen years he had his issues, but I never once doubted that he loved me, and would protect me. Eventhough he was  extremely non-confrontational, let someone say something bad or attack one of his girls or his wife, and WATCH OUT!!! He was always honest with me, even when  I didn't want to hear it. I knew I got that quality from somewhere. :) But for all the things he did for me through my life, and there were many, the thing I am most thankful for is the fact that he stepped into the role of father to my two daughters when their own father left when they were 2 and 5. For that I will forever be grateful that they got to feel that special bond between a daddy and his little girl, just like I did. You left us way too soon, Daddy, and you would be so proud of the amazing people that those two little girls ( now 17 and 20
) have become. I know that somewhere you can see them, and I know you are smiling and shedding tears of joy. I love you, Daddy! Happy Father's Day!