On the Flip Side

For my readers that don't know me, I am considered, in palatable terms, big and beautiful, curvy, or plus sized. I have struggled with weight issues most of my life. I have yo-yo'ed up and down the scale, and been on more diets than I can count. Let's face it. Even though we live in a country that has a massive amount of the population considered overweight, the world is not made for us. Blah, blah, blah. You've heard it all before. It is a concern of mine, and I have a lot to say about it, but this post is not about that. It's a different kind of body image concern. I have 2 beautiful daughters. My youngest is very petite in every way. She takes after my grandmother who never grew to over 5 feet. At 20, Georgi is 5'1" tall, and that is where she will stay. In the past 7 or 8 months, she has lost a healthy amount of weight. She looks amazing! She has worked hard to eat healthy and get fit. She works out and not in an obsessive way, but a healthy amount. She has an adorable figure, and I am so proud of her. She lost weight, something this country is consumed with, by the way, (US News and World Report puts the cost at over 60 billion dollars a year) but because she wasn't fat to begin with, or what we think of as fat, all kinds of interesting things started to happen.

About 5 years ago, I lost almost 50 lbs. Now, I certainly needed to lose weight, and I lost it under the advice of my doctor. People praised me, told me they were proud of me, and that I looked GREAT. Some even told me they looked at me as an inspiration. Yay! for me, right? At 50 lbs. gone, I still could have lost 50 more, and been at a healthy weight, but everyone's reaction to me was positive, encouraging and re-enforcing. Georgi met with different reactions after just losing a little over 30 lbs. It started with a family member who jokingly, and I use the term loosely because it wasn't funny, asked her if she was bulimic or anorexic. Countless people have come up to her  and me at church or at events and made a comment of how thin she was and asked was she going about it in a healthy way. No WOWs! No You look great! No pride. All negativity. All skepticism. Why? because she's petite to begin with? Because she wasn't "fat" she has no right to work out and get healthy? STOP! Don't answer those questions. IT DOESN'T MATTER! The point here is why do people feel the need to comment at all? How dare you come up and imply that, because she is at a great weight, and looks great in her clothes, and except for the fact that she's 5'1",  she could probably walk any runway, she's going about it in an unhealthy way. That would have been like people coming up to me before I started to lose my weight or even now and say, "Gosh, you're so fat! Are you being healthy?" No one would think of doing that!!!! Why do they feel it's justified to ask that of Georgi? It is just plain rude. It is insulting to Georgi and all of us that live with her and love her that she would take that path, and that we would let her. Here's a wonderful idea! Let's stop commenting about each other's bodies all together. Fat, thin, skinny, overweight, it's really nobody's business but our own. We should never feel ashamed about the way we look, so don't make us!

Before and after, well at least 5 months after

To look at me now, one wouldn't think that I had the nickname "Skinny Minnie" growing up, but I did. Up until the age of 10 I could eat anything, and I never gained an ounce. I was literally skin and bones. Then nature played a cruel trick on me. My metabolism changed, and I started to gain weight. From then on it was up and down all through my middle and high school years. Now, I must say that with all the hype of media about body issues for girls, you would think it was something new. It's not. I went through High School thinking I was fat. Looking at pictures now, I can't imagine what I was thinking. I might not have been tiny, but I was in no way "FAT" I've spent pretty much of my adult life going on this diet or that to get into a dress or please someone else or look good for this or that event. I'm sure you can guess where this is leading. It never worked. Oh, sure, I would lose the weight, get to a point where I was starting to look good to myself, and then tire of the deprivation of those wonderful foods that I loved so much. And then, pack on the pounds as I indulged. Last February I went to the doctor for a check-up to renew my blood pressure medication. They did lab work, and I got a call at the end of February from the nurse. She asked me if I had a minute. Now, let me pause here to say that I have always been pretty healthy all through my life, even though I have spent a lot of it overweight. So imagine my shock when I heard what the nurse said. She told me that my lab work had come back, and that my blood sugar numbers registered as Pre-diabetic. I was told to go on a low carb, low sugar diet. WOW! Talk about a wake-up call. At this point, you may be thinking, "Didn't she know she was overweight?" Of course I did, but I had a mental attitude of "I like who I am inside, so screw the world, and their definition of beauty." There's nothing wrong with that attitude. It is important to love ourselves no matter what package we are wrapped in, but I kept "feeding" (no pun intended) that attitude as I ballooned higher and higher up the scale. When I got the call from the doctor's office, my weight was at an all time high, and 18 lbs. over the mental limit I had told myself I would never cross. The words I heard on the phone that day made me stop and re-examine my "attitude" I'm not stupid I knew that the weight I was at was unhealthy, but it took someone to tell me what I was risking to make me do something. I found out on a Friday, and that Monday I started my new life. I choose not to use the word diet. I have been on many "diets", and they have never held long term results. There's no magic formula,  no matter how many commercials you see or ads you hear that claim that there is. What has really made things successful for me this time, I think, is that I'm not on a diet, I'm not in a hurry, and I haven't set some unrealistic goal. I'm living a new way to preserve my health. Weight loss is just a perk. I'm not preaching, and I hope it doesn't come off that way.  Losing weight is not a race to the finish line, it's a journey to a better, healthier way of life. I'm still on my journey, and I just want people to know that it's not easy, but it's worth it! 40 lbs. so far, and I feel so much better, and so glad I started this voyage.