Mike's "Cysta" is Already a Problem Tennant

Back in the middle of July I wrote an entry with an update on my tumor (Mike Wazowski). I know several of you have been following my progress through this whole tumor/brain surgery ordeal that started a little less than a year ago. Wow! That's hard to believe that it's been almost a year since the exisitence of Mike was first discovered. So much has happened in these last 10 months. When one is told that they have a tumor it strikes a chord. No matter what is said after that, you have this initial feeling of dread. It is probably because we've watched too many scenes in movies or on TV where the hero or heroine fights bravely to the death with a brain tumor, we instantly think CANCER. Mine was not cancer. It was never thought to be cancer, but knowing that, I almost took it too lightly at first. Even after everything was removed, (well, not everything) I felt fine, by my standards. I have my granfather's "shake it off" constitution, so I thought I'm feeling fine. It's all over, and even if there is something hanging around, I can live with it until it poses a threat. I had made all mylittle plans of waiting until May to have my surgery. Afterall that fits better with my schedule, and I can bank enough time at work to be able to take the month needed to recover at full salary instead of 2/3 or, worse, days with no salary at all. NEWSFLASH: Threat posed! Last week I saw Dr. Astruc, the eye specialist who first caught the problem, for a routine follow-up. Part of the follow-up was a field of vision test as I had had the previous 2 visits since Mike had mostly affected my peripheral vision. I was a little worried when I took the eye test, you know the one with the letters, and my right eye was acting the same way it had when all this mess started but not as bad. The last letter in the line was invisible, not the last 2. But, as we tend to do as humans, I rationalized. It's dark in here. Maybe I have something in my eye, etc., etc. Then I went to take the field of vision test, and we started the process of staring down the long tunnel and clicking the plastic piece in my hand every time I saw a flash of light. Back to the examining room to wait for Dr. Astruc. As he looked at the results compared with my results in May, I didn't hear what I wanted to hear. Left eye? PERFECT! Right eye? Another dark spot has appeared. Well, CRAP! He said that he thought the cyst was probably causing that, but he would send the report to Dr. Sahni, my neurosurgeon, and he would make the determination of how to proceed. I saw Dr. Astruc on a Wednesday, and Thursday morning I got a call from Dr. Sahni. To summarize: My plans to wait until May went out the window. In fact, when I told Dr. Sahni I wanted to wait until then, he chuckled and said, "No, you cannot wait until then." So as it stands now, I am shooting for the first week of November, almost exactly where I was a year ago. I'm not thrilled, but it is what it is. What else am I going to do? This time they will do what Dr. Sahni called an Inter-operative MRI. That means they will do the MRI while I am still under to make sure EVRYONE vacates! I can tell you one thing. Mike's not getting his security deposit back!

Mike Wazowski Has a Friend, and It's not Sully

It's a lovely Saturday morning. I am sitting here in my new house enjoying the little Florida room in the back, one of the features that really sold me on moving in. It's quiet. All I can hear right now are the sounds of nature and my kitty, Lacy purring beside me. I have needed this all week, and I am glad just to sit here and enjoy the "downtime." It's been a crazy week, folks. First of all, we are moving into a new building at work. Statistics state that moving, of any kind, ranks third in stressful life events, ranking only behind death and divorce.  This is the second time I'm moving in the span of just 2 months. Add to that, uncertainty about the move at work. We are all packed only to find out the move date has changed.  So there's that. Then I get my cleaning deposit back from my previous move, something I have been looking forward to so I can shop for a sofa, to find it is 1/10 of what I deposited, I was livid, but that's another blog post. Then last Thursday was my day to see the neurologist to find out the results of my follow up MRI to see if my friend Mike Wazowski had grown back. Well, here's the scoop. Mike doesn't seem to have grown, but a friend has moved in with him. In looking at the most recent films, the conclusion is that I have now developed a cyst in the area Mike used to reside called the Cella. The best way I can describe the location is the space between the two hemispheres of your brain. The cyst is at the top of this space, and what Mike left behind is at the bottom. I am in no imminent danger, not like things were before when Mike took up the entire space and then some, but here is the disappointing news I received. I must have the same procedure all over again to drain and remove the cyst, and while we're in there will make sure that Mike has totally vacated his space. I was less than thrilled to hear that. I just wanted to be done with all of it, and I know that many will say, but at least it's not cancer, and it could be worse, and 1000's of other attempts at what they feel are comforting words, but the fact remains that for the second time in the span of a year, I am going to have to have brain surgery, and IT SUCKS!!! It's the exact same surgery, with the exact same recovery time which means loss of time from work and more money that I don't have. And before you ask, yes, I have insurance, but paying 30% of a $229,000 hospital bill, even after insurance knocks it down to their allowable charge is still an expense I can't afford, and yes, I know I can set up a payment plan, but I don't have any EXTRA. That's the facts, plain and simple people. Right now, it sounds like I am throwing myself a pity party. I'm not! I write this blog to be honest about the way I feel and think. Part of the reason I do that, especially with something like this, is because I want other people who are going through this or something like it to read this and say, hey, I feel like that too. I'm not alone out here going through my crisis. Somebody understands the way I feel.
So, plan of action, for those who are curious. I will wait, which my doctor says is ok this time, until I can earn enough vacation and sick time to cover the month it will take to do this. That will help with a little of the financial dark cloud. So we are probably looking at early 2017. Until then, Mike and his new roommate better behave, there's no vacancy in Hotel Cella!

Time for the Pay Off

In 3 days I will do something I have never done before. Before thoughts of exciting adventures like skydiving or bungee jumping fill your head, let me enlighten you. I will attend a college graduation. I am 52 years old, and I have never attended a college graduation. I did not attend college, nor did my sister, my parents before me or their parents. No one in our family has ever attended college until now.
A little back story: Almost 18 years ago, I became a single Mom of 2 & 5 year old daughters. That, in itself, was daunting. I had no job, no car and no money. I had to move out of the townhouse we had been renting and into my parent's basement. I went on welfare and food stamps until I could find a job. As a little tip, don't ever get into a conversation with me about government assistance and the only people who use it are too lazy to get a job. In a short amount of time I did get a job, luckily, but it still didn't pay enough to get out on my own, so forget any kind of savings. Thinking about college for either of my girls was out of the question. In reflecting on that time I will often say, it was either eat or save for college. We chose to eat. My girls grew up knowing that if they didn't get free rides with scholarships, they weren't going to college, plain and simple. It was that way until about 10 years ago. I started working at a private university. One of the benefits of working here is free tuition for me and my dependents. There have been lots of bumps in the road. What I do is not my dream job, not even close, and many times over the 10 years I have thought, I can't do this. I'm just going to find another job, but I stayed. Sunday afternoon is the big pay off. My oldest girl will walk across the stage, and because I work here, I will get to hand her her diploma making her a college graduate with a degree in Theatre Arts. It doesn't get much more "worth it" than that!

A Follow Up on Mike

Yesterday I wrote a blog about how my pituitary tumor, christened Mike Wazowski by me, was not totally gone. I feel like there were some conclusions drawn because I was unclear. So, if I can't clear up my brain right now, I do want to clear up the understanding of what I'm experiencing and hopefully help others who are going through this. Let me say this right off the bat. THIS IS NOT CANCEROUS IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM!! Pathology was done on the original Mike, and he is benign. Also, from my understanding, this didn't grow back, it was leftover, so to speak. That doesn't mean it won't grow. That's what the follow up MRI's are for. Speaking of the MRI's, I do have insurance, and they are covered, but my cost is $750 at least, which, to me, might as well be the $2400 because I can't afford either. I am not worried! God has taken care of me to this point. He's not going to stop now. He has sent me a legion of angels in all of you, my friends and family. So if Mike is going to stick around, he's got a fight on his hands! Blessings and love to you all! ❤❤❤❤

I Thought You Were Gone, Mike!

A month ago I posted the results of my follow up with the eye doctor after my tumor was removed, and the results were amazing, even by his standards. Almost all of my peripheral vision has been restored, and still could improve more with time. Yay! I guess such great results kind of set me up on a mountaintop about this whole experience that it’s all over, and life is, once again, back to normal, or as normal as my life is. Not so, my friend. Last week I had my follow up with the neurosurgeon after my New Year’s Eve MRI, 2 months post tumor removal. I looked at the CD they give you. It definitely looked different and that hole was no longer full of the big white spot as you see in the picture, but I have no idea what I’m looking at. As I sat in Dr. Sahni’s office last week waiting for him to come in, I was imagining what he’d say:

Dr. Sahni: Well, Miss Moore, the tumor is totally gone. Dr. Astruc says your vision is almost completely back to normal, so unless you have any problems, I’ll see you in a year. Nice to meet you. Good luck!

That’s not exactly how it went. It’s nothing earth shattering, but there is still some of the tumor left. It is now in the bottom of the cavity where my pituitary gland lives and far away from my optic nerves, so nothing is being affected. It’s just sitting there, and it might just sit there forever, which would be the preferred scenario, but it could also grow back. Cue sound effect of Boos and hissing from the crowd. Apparently it was huge! In fact, Dr. Sahni said that many surgeons would not have removed it by the method mine was removed, through the nasal cavity. It would have been the “movie version” of brain surgery, shaved head, boring into the skull, through the brain stuff. As large as it was, and given the way it was removed, the doctor could not be overly aggressive because that could have caused some permanent damage. So, I am sure you are wondering what happens now. Well, you are if you’re still reading this. In 4 months I have another MRI, cha ching $$, $2400.00, to see if it has grown. If it has, we do the whole thing all over again, or if it hasn’t, we wait, the word everybody loves to hear. In another four months from July we do another MRI, cha ching $$, another $2400, to see if it’s grown, if it still is just sitting there, as my grandmother used to say, like a bump on a log, we wait 6 months, and you guessed it, another MRI. It seems Mike Wasowski just couldn’t bear to leave his Boo. But this isn’t a Disney movie, and I would have preferred for Mike to have just walked back into that closet and shredded my door for good! 

I Get By With a Little Help from My Friends

A little over a month ago I found out I had a tumor on my pituitary gland, and I had to have brain surgery to remove it. All kinds of things went through my mind when I was given this news, but one of the things that stressed me out the most was how much was this going to cost, not just medically but how much income would I lose? Today I got a partial answer to that question. First a little background: I am still at home and will be until 11/30/15. If you're doing the math, that's over a month away from work. Not to bore you with too many facts, but this length of time requires me to go on Short Term Disability (STD) Most STD plans work in similar ways. You must go through a waiting period before it can even start. Even when mine starts I will only be paid 2/3 of my salary. My waiting period is 14 days. Even using all of my vacation and sick time, I do not have enough to even cover the waiting period in order to be paid for all the time off. Add to that what I found out Monday. CIGNA has not yet approved my STD claim. Translation: I'm not getting paid for anything but the 42 some odd hours of time that I had. Today when I got paid my pay was $500.00 short. I don't know many people who could handle being shorted $500.00 in their pay. I certainly can't. Now, not to worry yet, once they decide that brain surgery is valid to be off from work, the pay will be retroactive, but bills are due when bills are due. When all of this overwhelming news came through to my little family of 3, my sweet girl, Georgi, started a GoFundme page, and my other sweet girl spread the word. We were all blown away as we watched the $20,000 goal grow so quickly to $10,000. Friends and family sent us money in the mail. All out of the goodness of their hearts and with love. That's what it's about....LOVE! I felt like some people may have been judgemental about asking for help. Why? A very good friend of mine said it best, "You only have to ask family once." I am not kidding when I say this. We could not have survived without that money, pure and simple. So, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!! I wanted to use the Beatle lyric as a title, but it wasn't a little help, it was a LOT! I have no idea what will happen in the next weeks. I am relatively sure that my claim will be approved, but nothing is certain. I am surviving because of all of you! I am overwhelmed! I love you all!

Entertaining Angels Unawares

In about a week from now, hopefully, I will be out of surgery and into recovery, perhaps even in my hospital room in the ICU. I am not nervous now. I know I am in good hands, and I trust my doctor. I can’t tell you how I’ll feel when I leave before dark next Tuesday morning to head to the hospital for the procedure. I have already had a major outpouring of support including some of you who read this blog. Medically, I know I will be fine. I have faith that all will go well. What I am worried about is finances, specifically the cost of all of this and what my insurance WON’T pay, and losing income as I stay home to recover. I had to go in to have all of my pre-op testing done this morning, and when HCA called to schedule, they asked me if I would like to take care of the $500.00 deposit they would require over the phone. I declined, knowing full well they would ask for it this morning, I was a little nervous. It’s embarrassing to tell people you don’t have money. I mean, it’s not like this is elective surgery. Have the tumor removed or go blind. Kind of a no-brainer, no pun intended. So today when I went in, I had 2 scenarios in my head. 1. I will offer them $50.00 and hope they take it or 2. I will cause a scene and tell them that if I walk out of here and drop dead because I have an aneurysm, it’s on them. Luckily, I did not have to employ either of these. I had a wonderful woman named Dee register me today. She asked the obligatory question, “Would you like to take care of the $500.00 deposit today?” I replied, “I don’t have it.” She never missed a beat, and said, “That’s all right. I do see that your surgery is in a week, they will require that it’s paid before they do the procedure.” She then handed me a business card and told me that if I thought the $500.00 would be a problem, I could call and make an arrangement. I instantly felt a peace about everything. She then proceeded to talk about the fact that she knew very few people who could sit down and write out a $500.00 check, thereby making me feel less embarrassed and more normal. Dee was my angel today. I firmly believe that I was called to her booth because God knew I needed her gentle spirit and demeanor today in my situation. I will call, and I will make arrangements, and because Dee guided me today, I will not have the added anxiety of money when I go to have brain surgery next week. So, thank you, Dee, and thank you, God, for sending an angel my way.