Raise Your Hand

Something happened this week that may seem inconsequential to some. One Facebook status made their feelings very clear by stating they "didn't give a shit" And that's what Facebook is about sharing with the world how we feel. But this particular event, to me, was one of the best and most courageous things in a long time. I am speaking of Jason Collins, the NBA player who came out this week. Coming out is a brave step for anyone, but to come out in a profession that is pegged as a very heterosexual environment is paramount! How hard it must have been for him to deny himself with his teammates for all those years, to, as he put it, "act straight" I am straight, and I think it would be extremely difficult, if not impossible to live my life pretending to be gay, not because being gay is a bad thing, but because it goes against the nature of who I am. So what! He's gay! Big deal! It is a big deal to him, to his family, friends, teammates, and every kid who's on a basketball team right now who's afraid to tell anyone who he really is. But the real test is not in Jason's brave announcement, it will be in how we react to it. We are the ones who are tested right now! We are the ones who must support him and everyone like him. Former president Bill Clinton was quoted as saying, "It is ... the straightforward statement of a good man who wants no more than what so many of us seek: to be able to be who we are; to do our work; to build families and to contribute to our communities. For so many members of the LGBT community, these simple goals remain elusive. I hope that everyone, particularly Jason’s colleagues in the NBA, the media and his many fans extend to him their support and the respect he has earned." It seems so simple, doesn't it? Why can't people just be who they are? Why do we not allow that? Maybe it isn't a concern for most. How much of a concern would it be if you were being forced to deny yourself and live a life that was a lie? Jason said this. "I didn’t set out to be the first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport. But since I am, I’m happy to start the conversation. I wish I wasn’t the kid in the classroom raising his hand and saying, 'I’m different.' If I had my way, someone else would have already done this. Nobody has, which is why I’m raising my hand." So to me, Jason Collins, it is a big deal, and to millions of others! Thank you for raising your hand!

I'm Coming Out

Today is National Coming Out Day. In recent days much attention has been given to LGBT and Questioning Youth. Unfortunately what has caused this attention is that these young people are committing suicide. The reason they are taking their lives is because they would rather die than live their lives daily being harassed and bullied for being different.

From the time I entered the theatrical world at the age of 10 , I have been around gay people. Of course in 1973 most people weren't "Out" I didn't really understand anything about homosexuality. It didn't really make a difference to me. The words "Straight" and "Gay" weren't really in my vocabulary. In High School I can remember having intense discussions with my father about being open minded. It usually fell on deaf ears, but he was from a different time. He was raised a different way, with different beliefs about what was right and wrong. I'm not really sure when it happened, but somewhere in my late 20's I slowly began to become more and more judgemental. I finally got to the point where I and all the people I surrounded myself with became judge and jury, and we knew exactly who was going to heaven and who wasn't. We were going, "they" weren't. "They" meaning homosexuals. We weren't haters, or bashers. In fact you would never know we thought that way. We weren't Westboro Baptist Church. No, we were worse. We "loved" everyone. Isn't that what we were teaching in our Sunday School classes and Bible studies? Everyone but the people who didn't believe the way we did. It was a struggle for me because I had so many friends, good friends, best friends, who were gay. My friends who are reading this, please don't think that my feelings were not genuine for you, and don't stop reading here. I did and do love you! I just thought you were wrong, and tried not to think about our differences. What I have learned or been shown is that "LOVE" cannot be wrong!
The title of this blog post is "I'm Coming Out" I am not writing this to denounce the fact that I am a Christian or that I think that my faith is wrong. And, I am not coming out of the closet. I am still straight, but I am coming out of a darkness I have let myself live in for a long time. Coming out of a blindness to the loving, caring people that I was judging, people that have always been there for me.

A year ago I lost a very dear friend to cancer. I had known him for many years, but I never let myself really know him or his partner until about three years ago. Ironically I played his wife and I really let myself know who he really was, because I stopped seeing him as gay and just saw him as the amazing, caring, loving person he was. When he died, I took it really hard because I was so mad at myself for wasting all of that time. I had such a short time to be friends with him. I watched how much love and care his partner showed him all through his illness, and I cried along with 100's of people at his funeral.

¹"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ²For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

 ³"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. .... Matthew 7:1-5

So, I am coming out! I am coming out of the darkness of judgement and into a light of love. I am coming out to thank all of my dear, dear friends who happen to be gay or lesbian for loving me without judgement in spite of all my flaws. You have taught me so much about what it is to be a true friend, and I love you all so much!