Obligatory New Year Title

This post will be dated January 2, 2016, but I am actually writing it before I go to sleep on New Year's Day. Somehow that seems to be indicative of my life in 2015, not quite able to do things exactly when they needed to be done. What I seemed to learn from that this year is that things don't always work out, and adjustment is the name of the game. There were several firsts for me in 2015. I began the year in rehearsals for a college production of "Funny Girl," playing Mrs. Brice. I never went to college, so this was a new experience for me. I must say it would have been much easier if I had been college age. To put it mildly, they work you to death, lots of long rehearsal hours. I was hired as a costumer for the first time for a community theater production of one of my favorite Neil Simon comedies, "Come Blow Your Horn." I really enjoyed doing it. I must not have done too bad a job because I was asked to costume the show that followed. The adjustment here was that I was also performing in a show that was opening the same weekend as the one I was costuming. Note to self: Never do that again! Luckily, my youngest was helping me, and took over when I couldn't be there anymore. The biggest "first" for me in 2015 was brain surgery, not a metaphor, actual brain surgery. If you read this blog you know that I had a pituitary tumor removed the end of October. Talk about adjustment! The neurosurgeon said that the tumor had probably been growing for 10 years. Of course you want something like that out of your body, but there are all kinds of things that happen once it's out that you don't think about. More adjustments, adjustments mostly to hormonal changes. I never really bothered to think about what the tumor was doing to my pituitary gland as the vision changes because of the pressure on my optic nerve are what led to the discovery, but the pituitary gland controls all the hormones and body temperature and all kinds of other things. For instance I still don't have my full sense of smell back, and randomly I will start smelling fresh paint. I have hot flashes, and other menopausal type things. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. All in all I'm certainly thankful to have the tumor gone, but I wonder how long I will need to adjust. I ended the year and will begin 2016 with another first. I auditioned actors for my first foray into directing professionally. I am excited about this one, but also anxious as I adjust to sitting behind the table and not being on stage.
2016 will hold the biggest first for not only me, but my whole family. My oldest will graduate college in May. She will be the first ever to do so in our family. I am so proud of all she is doing and will do. Because I work for the University she attends, I will actually get to hand her her diploma. There will be much adjustment made that day as I try to keep it together in the awesome emotion of that moment. I am sure there will be many more issues that arise from the aftermath of brain surgery in 2016, but I have a ton of supportive fiends and an amazing family to help me through. I know I can face it well adjusted! Happy New Year!

2014..a look back.

So...it's over. The last post I wrote was about enjoying Christmas and not rushing here and there trying to cram everything holiday into the small window of time that I didn't stop to enjoy it. I am happy to say that I came pretty close to succeeding. Whether it was the fact that I didn't have time to rush around because I was working 1 full time job and 2 part time jobs or I took my own advice I'm not sure, but it was a much more laid back Christmas than I have had in years. It gave me some time to reflect on everything that has changed, some for the worse, but most for the better, in 2014. One of the most significant things that happened in 2014 was a double-edged sword for me. My baby graduated High School with honors last June. I was so proud of her, but I was also very sad. This was the end of school days for me. She has always been independent, but this marks society's definition of "no longer a child," and my role as a mother changes. This also marked the law's definition of adulthood, and child support ended in the middle of June, a day after she graduated. Because of this reduction in family income, I began to search for a part-time job, and in August I was hired to work with a local preschool with 2 and 3 year olds. I was excited but also extremely nervous. I am 51, and I haven't dealt with little ones in a LOONNGGG time! Would I be able to handle this? Would they like me? Would I be able to handle it physically? It was one of the sweetest experiences of my year. Physically, it was demanding, but 40 new little people made their way into my heart, and I will remember them for a very long time.
After working 9 years at my present job, I finally received a promotion. This, too, was a double edged sword as I was required to give up my job at the preschool. I will definitely miss the money, but it was heartbreaking to leave all those little faces. My new job is a challenge for many reasons, and I know it will take some time to settle in, but in the long run, I think it will be for the best.
In March of 2014, something very exciting happened! My oldest daughter was accepted as a transfer to a prestigious University, and would be moving back home. My little family of 3 would be under one roof again, and at the end of her very difficult first semester, she ended 2014 with all A's and B's. My youngest began college last fall and closed out the year with a 3.6 GPA. They both will do great things! They are the first 2 to go to college in our family, and I am in awe of them!
Physically, I made a big change in 2014. I decided to stop coloring my hair. I started getting gray hair in high school, just a stray here and there, but by the age of 22, the strays had grown enough for me to start coloring my hair. I have been coloring my hair dark brown for almost 30 years, but when my income reduced, I looked for any way to save money, and coloring my hair was something easy, so I stopped. The overall consensus is people love it. In fact some people think I have bleached my hair. It took me longer to get used to it, but I actually love it, and am very glad I took the plunge.

I have no idea what 2015 will hold for me. I'm a little anxious about things like finances and how the economy will affect me, but isn't everyone? I'm not really a resolution maker, but I do want to tackle 2015 with less stress, and live one day at a time. My mantra this year will be the prayer of serenity. I wish you the same!

Auld Lang Syne

Auld Lang Syne - Days Gone By. 365 to be exact. 2011 brought many things to my life. Like most of you, some were great, some not so great. I said good-bye to my childhood home - bittersweet, watched my daughter graduate from high school - also bittersweet, see her accepted into her top choice school only to find out that moneys counted on weren't coming through - bitter, moved into my own place - sweet, watched my youngest achieve her choral dreams making two of the most coveted groups in her high school - really sweet. I wasn't on stage at all in 2011, which is pretty hard for me, but I did get an amazing opportunity to direct, a first for me, and I ended the year landing a fabulous role in a play for Barksdale Hanover Tavern, called "Always, Patsy Cline" which I will be doing for the first quarter of 2012.
If I had to pick one phrase to describe 2011, it would be "A Year of Change." Changes for me, my girls, my family, and last, but certainly not least, my health. As humans, we usually resist change. Change means the unkown, and usually we fear the unknown. Often times we stay in a situation that is much worse for us simply because it is what we are used to, and eventhough taking that step toward change would make our lives so much better, we hold back, we settle. If we settle for mediocrity too long or we allow our lives to become stagnant, life, itself, rebels and FORCES us to change. When we finally take those steps toward change, the journey is so exciting and the destination so much better, we can't believe we ever settled to begin with. I am not sure what 2012 will bring. I do know it is off to a great start. I ended 2011 as a working director, and I am starting 2012 as a working actor, and for this girl, and for this moment that's exactly where I want to be.

A New Start for Summer

So...if you have followed this blog at all, and except for the people who have been BOLD enough to put their names on the blog as followers, I have no idea who is and who isn't, but, you will notice, "So....I Was Thinkin'" has gotten a make-over. Sometimes we just need change in our lives. Sometimes it's more than just a need, it's a craving, a longing. Even though we want this change to come, it's scary! Sometimes the impetus to change is the realization that you cannot continue to tolerate things the way that they are, and you must do something. Change is never easy even if it will result in better circumstances, but sometimes it is simply necessary for growth to occur. Kinda philosophical just because my background's blue and green, and there is some grass at the top and dandelions blowing, but there it is. What do you need to change?