They Died for This?

 I have not written in a while, but today I want to say something. We are approaching the Memorial Day Weekend. First, let me clear up a common misconception. Memorial Day is to honor service men and women who have died. Think about a Memorial service. That is a service to honor the person or persons who have died. This holiday is often confused with Veteran's Day, which is always November 11th, which honors anyone who has served or is serving in the U.S. Armed forces - Army, Navy, Air Force or Marines. I want to talk about Memorial Day specifically. No one in my immediate family has ever served in the armed forces. I have friends who served and a great uncle that I never met, but the impact of losing someone in battle has never happened to me personally. I do know, for lack of a better resource, through movies and television, the horrors of combat. I am specifically thinking of the beginning sequence of Saving Private Ryan brilliantly shot by Steven Spielberg. I have posted the clip before, and I won't post here again, but if you haven't watched it, you need to. This post is not about that day. This post is about the fact that people died fighting for FREEDOM! Not just ours in America, but to liberate other people from oppression. Yes, over the years the question has come up of whether we should be in a war or going to war or stationed in a country to protect others from cruelty and injustice, and the abolishment of their rights as fellow human beings, but regardless of what people thought at home, men and women were dying for FREEDOM. Let me stress that again in case you didn't catch it the first time. DYING for FREEDOM. 

I listened to an audiobook not long ago, The Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly. It takes place during World War II. It is a work of historical fiction. It is told from the point of view of 3 women, all affected in different ways, by the war and the aftermath. They are all connected in some way to Ravensbrück Women's Concentration camp. If you are not familiar with this particular camp, as I was not until listening to this book, it is where medical experiments were done on the women there. I also listened to The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris. This was a true story. In both these books, one of the hopes the prisoners hold onto through the terrible torture they are forced to endure each day is that the Americans are close. They will be rescued soon by the Americans. I focus on World War II because I think most people have more than a general knowledge of what we were fighting for, but all service persons who have died no matter what, are important and we owe them a debt of gratitude. Hell, we owe them our lives which brings me to my point. Looking at the state of this country today, what did they die for? And before you come for me with both guns blazing - sadly that phrase is all too literal these days - this is not about the Left or the Right. This is about FREEDOM. Those men and women died so we could be FREE, ALL OF US, NOT JUST WHITE HETEROSEXUAL MEN! I watch the things that are happening in this country on a daily basis, and I can't believe the reports I'm seeing are about THIS country, the United States, and I leave out America, because even that carries a negative connotation these days because of the people that wave the American flag with pride while they're spewing hate. On May 21, 2023, the NAACP issued a travel warning for the state of Florida, following closely after The League of United Latin American Citizens and Equality Florida stating that Florida "has become openly hostile toward African Americans, people of color and L.G.B.T.Q.+ individuals." I'm sorry, WHAT??? I am reading a warning from all 3 of these organizations that if my oldest daughter, who is proudly Pansexual, wants to visit her aunt, who lives in Florida, and by the way does not agree with the state's policies or the hate their Governor is spewing, it could be dangerous for her to do so. This is not what those men and women died for. I am ashamed of the country we have become. My daughter posted a very scary map of states that are already dangerous to live in if you are part of the Trans community, and the ones that in a matter of 2 years could be enacting laws that would pose a danger. Virginia is one of those 2 year states. I live in a state that could possibly pass laws that say it is illegal for people to be who they are!

What is going on? We are better than this! You know what? Maybe we're not. Maybe this is always who we were, and now we've been given the "permission" to show it. I would be embarrassed, no, ashamed, to stand in front of any of those soldiers who died on the beaches of Normandy, or on the battlefields of Korea, or in the jungles of Viet Nam, or in the desert in Afghanistan or on and on and on, and show them this country and what we have become, what we are letting happen. That we have turned the freedom they fought for into hate and outlawing individuals. Really? They died for this?

Hurry Up and Grieve!

 In a few short minutes it will be midnight, and the date will be October 18, 2022. What's special about 10/18/22, you say? Well, really nothing special, not to the world anyway, but to me. The 18th of any month is going to be a day I remember. The 18th will mark 2 months since I received a call at work at 2:45 in the afternoon telling me that my mother had passed away, Today has been hard, my friends! That is difficult for me to say, and even worse for me to feel because I have always been the one to "hold it together." I fall apart at movies, TV shows, even commercials, but real life? Not this gal. So today, the 17th, I have been crying on and off all day, and I'm not just talking about shedding a tear or two. I'm talking weeping, audible, can't catch my breath, sobbing. It started this morning as I looked out into my backyard while I was eating breakfast. I just started to cry. Then all day, at random times I would start to cry again and have to pull myself together. I kept thinking, Stop! This isn't me. I don't do this. You're the rock, Terri. You keep yourself together," but I couldn't today, no matter how hard I tried. Now, people will say, it's ok to cry, and I know that, but I am a person who needs to know why so I can fix it. The problem is I can't fix this one. My mom is not coming back, and I can't change that. Now, I have been through a lot of shit in my life, if you follow this blog, I've written about a lot of it, and people have always said, "You're so strong!" You start to believe the hype, ya know? I'm not saying I'm not strong, I am. If not, I'm not sure I would have survived, but being that strong person made me feel like I couldn't break. Forget break, I don't even allow myself to bend. Here's the thing. I'm putting all of this on myself. I'm setting some time limit on grieving like there's a cutoff. I talked a lot today to both of my girls, and they were both wonderful and supportive as they always are, and I realized something. In the last year that I was able to actually see my Mom in the nursing facility, she really didn't talk all that much, so I would go visit and just tell her about life for the week we'd been apart. That's gone now, and I think it really hit me today how lonely that makes me feel. I was just telling her stupid stories about work or some idiot on the highway, but she listened to me and sometimes offered an opinion, or I'd say, "remember that time we...., "and she might smile and add a little to the story. All of that's gone, and I find that incredibly sad. I guess I'm not at the "memories comforting me" stage yet, and I might not be there for a long time, and today I might have taken the first step to tell myself that's ok. No little quips or sarcastic remarks today, just straight up what I'm going through. I'm going to really try hard to give myself some time, and stop saying, "stay strong" all of the time. For now, I think "fall apart" will do me more good. 

An Uneaten Slice of Coconut Cake

My daughter and I were riding home from work together on Wednesday evening, and as we passed the new Ukrops Market Hall at the corner of Horsepen and Patterson you could smell the famous fried taters they make, and she asked if we could stop there as she had never been. I pulled into the parking lot, and we went in. We looked around for a few minutes, and as I passed by the cakes I noticed that they had Coconut cakes by the slice. Coconut Cake has always been one of my mom's favorites. When I visit her in the nursing home, I always try to take her a treat, something she loves, a baked potato with all the fixin's, a milkshake, ice cream, my carrot cake (which she has apparently shared about with several of the nurses) and a good Hanover Tomato sandwich. I was able to take her all those things at one time or another, but never Ukrops Coconut Cake because I was never able to find it by the slice. I was thrilled and grabbed a slice to take with me on my visit Friday. Thursday afternoon, yesterday, around 2:45 pm, I got the call that my mother had passed. She had been in Hospice Care for some time - shoutout here to Heartland Hospice! They were amazing! - and in the past 2 weeks she had definitely declined, and I wanted her to cross over as I knew she would be at peace, but it was still a shock. It's funny the little things that we think about when we grieve. I thought about the fact that she didn't get her slice of coconut cake. It is sitting in the fridge on the shelf, and she didn't get it. She wasn't expecting it. It was just something I saw and picked up because I knew she would love it. I am sure I will have that same thought again when I am out or when I make Carrot cake this Thanksgiving or even next summer when Hanover tomatoes are at their ripest that I should take mom this sandwich or slice of cake, she would love this and then realize she is not there to take anything to....I know I just ended the sentence with a preposition, but today is not about grammar. The point is, we are not guaranteed time with anyone. We will all die someday, that is a fact, we just don't know when. I know it's cliché, but make the most of your time for yourself and the people you love. Like all mothers and daughters we had our issues, but in these last 2 years as roles have been reversed, I have had the time to be with her without all the mess of the world. I would just visit and talk. We'd laugh about Andy Griffith or The Golden Girls or she'd ask me questions about what was going on as we sat there and watched Toy Story, or I'd mock the ridiculous, predictable plot of a Hallmark Channel movie, and she'd laugh. I loved my mom, and I know that she knew that. In fact it's the last thing she said to me when I left her room last Sunday afternoon, and they were also the last words she heard from me. I really can't ask for more than that. I am so glad she is at peace and with my dad, and her parents, and best friend and loving pets, but I know I will never pass by coconut cake again and not think of her, and the uneaten slice in the fridge.

We Only Know the Middle. He Knows the End

 

I have not written a post for months. Not sure why. I promised myself when I started this blog that I would not write unless inspired. That sounds like a sad commentary on my life for the last nine months. It hasn't been that I haven't been inspired. I guess I just got the feeling that nobody wanted to listen anymore. Well, I felt like someone out there may need to hear this particular thought. We only know the middle. God knows the end. If you have read this blog at all in the last 12 years that I have been writing it, you know that I am a person of faith. I have been through a lot of things in my life that I know I would not have survived without faith. There is something comforting in knowing that someone bigger and smarter and more compassionate than me is in charge. Now, that is not to say that I don't try to run things in my life, because I DO! usually to my detriment. Something happened a couple of weeks ago that has turned our community upside down. A dear, sweet, faithful, young woman, that I know through the theatre community, was lost in a drowning accident. All of the questions and feelings come rushing forth. Why God? Why her? This is not fair! Anger, Confusion, Resentment, Guilt, Powerlessness, Denial, Devastation, Fear. I could go on and on. If you are not familiar with what happened after the accident, the search for her went on for a week. Here is the amazing thing, and this is why I am writing today. Her mother kept us all updated on Facebook every day as to what was going on. People came out in droves to help in the search. People all over the world were sending messages and praying. Her mother is a great person of faith, and that was clear in every post. I was in awe. I have a daughter almost the same age as hers, and I cannot say that I would have been able to do what she did. Now, many of you, at this point, are saying, "What good did your prayers do? She is still gone. The outcome was tragic!" You are right! The outcome was tragic! A beautiful girl has left this world, and we mourn her loss, and the life unlived, but we only know the middle. He knows the end. We, in our humanness, cannot understand why tragedy happens. I don't think God causes tragedy, but I believe He can take any situation and bring good out of it. We will never know how this event affected people, but God knows. We will never know how a mother's faith and testimony moved people to make it through their own crisis or inspired them to continue in this life, but God knows. We will never know if someone turned to God who had turned away because of this community's love for this family, but God knows. If any of those things happened, I know that this sweet girl is rejoicing that it did. Please do not twist my words and think that I am glad this happened. That is not what I am saying at all! What I am saying is that we cannot give up when things seem darkest. We have purpose! We have meaning! whether we are here for 30 years or 100. Live every day knowing that, and do not waste any of it.

THIS is Who We Were

 Saturday marked a very significant anniversary in my life and the life of this country. It marked 20 years since the terrorist attack destroying the Twin Towers in New York City, crashing into the Pentagon in Washington, DC and the thwarted United Flight 93 that was intended for another DC target. My Saturday went on as normal, but Saturday night I sat down to watch an excellent series that National Geographic produced called 9/11: One Day in America. This was a collection of stories told by the survivors of that day. These were the rescuers or the people who were the rescued or amazingly escaped death because of some random thing or place they were in the building right when things were happening. These weren't the stories of the people who were supposed to be there, and for some reason were not that day. These were the people who lived through it. To say the series was intense would be a vast understatement. I cried A LOT watching these people tell their stories. There was also quite a bit of footage I had never seen before. It begins as a normal day. If you recall, it was gorgeous weather that day, not a cloud in the sky. A fire company is called to investigate a gas leak. Someone is documenting the fireman checking the manhole covers in the street. It is business as usual, and then you hear this roar of a jet engine like a fighter pilot is coming through. North Tower of the World Trade Center is in the distance from where they are checking the gas leak, and you see the jet fly right into the building like a rocket. Even after all these years, it absolutely took my breath away when I saw it on the TV screen. I think the fact that it was coming from the perspective of the normal everyday job of a firefighter on the street, expecting nothing, I felt the shock and disbelief with them. It was like watching the day unfold in real time. Many of the stories, even though these people survived, were sad as they talked of their friends, co-workers, strangers even. A battalion chief whose brother was also on the fire department and was dispatched to the South Tower when it was hit. His words were that he watched his brother walk away, and that was the last time he saw him. Firefighters who spoke about how as they began the climb up the 100's of flights to get people out shook each other's hands and shared how they were honored to work with each other because they knew that they may be walking to their death. The mother of one of the men on United Flight 93 who called to talk to his family, knowing that he would not survive this flight and choosing to ruin the terrorist's plans. Story after story of what it was like to go through that day. As I watched Episode after Episode, there are 6, I only made it through 5 until I had to take an emotional break, I kept thinking, - How did these people make it through? How did they handle seeing what they're seeing? I must have said, "I can't imagine!" 50 times. One particularly haunting part was footage of the firefighters at a command post on the bottom floor of the North Tower (the first one hit) they are talking with each other to strategize how to get up to the people who need to be rescued, and you hear a large crash coming from outside. Something has fallen to the ground, and then about 30 seconds later you hear the same sound, and you realize that the sound you hear are bodies hitting the ground as they are jumping from the floors high above realizing their choices are burning alive or falling to the ground stories below. This was a war zone with no time to prepare, no military strategy meetings, no reconnaissance. They just had to act on their gut with a situation that no one had dealt with before. As I watched interview after interview I was moved as over and over again I heard these men and women talk about their "job." They went into those buildings to save people because that is what their job was. Without a thought they did what they had to do. Total strangers stayed with people who were injured. Random people that fate dealt a terrible hand placing them on a plane together that was doomed that day banded together to do what they could to say "not today" to the terrorists on their flight and forced the plane to crash. There was one moment in the series, and it was a piece of footage that had been taken from a reporter on the scene. He is passing a fireman by a firetruck who is taking a small rest after rescue efforts, and you can tell the reporter is trying for a hero angle, and the fireman answers with what almost seems like irritation, "It's my job!" As if to say, I am not a hero, this is what I do. I will try my best to save as many people as I can. This is who I am. Was the series hard to watch? ABSOLUTELY! But there was also hope. Hope that we can be that America again, the America that cares about other people, that puts other's needs before our own. Almost 3000 people died that day, and if they can see the country we have become in the 20 years that have passed, I hope they can forgive us. I pray that we try to become who we were.

The LOVE? Boat

 

I was a child of the 70's. I was also a TV kid. I spent a lot of time in front of that little box of entertainment all through my school years. The Jackie Gleason Show, The Carol Burnette Show, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Laugh-in, Looney Tunes, Mary Tyler Moore, Happy Days, Fantasy Island, and the list goes on and on. In September of 1976 a show premiered called The Love Boat. It was one of the many that came out of the Aaron Spelling creative machine. When it premiered I was about a month away from turning 13. I remember loving that show. I was always in front of the TV on Saturday night to watch that and then Fantasy Island which followed. It ran for 9 years. You can imagine when I saw that it was available to stream on the service Paramount+ I started watching. 

The first season was fairly tame for a show called The Love Boat. Certainly flirting and whirlwind romance, many couples who end up together as they leave the cruise. As I was watching Season 2 more and more of the Episodes had the male crew members, especially Doc (played by Bernie Kopel, a great character actor I have always loved), hit on the attractive passengers as soon as they are checking in. The women, of course are "flattered" by the pick-up lines and often are on the arm of that crew member all through the episode. Gopher (the Assistant Purser played by Fred Grandy) also attempts but his never quite land as he is not considered as suave as Doc. Saturday I was watching the 5th Episode in the second season. The title of one of the vignettes was "Julie's Aunt." The set up was that Captain Stubing's (played by Gavin Macleod) favorite uncle was coming on the cruise, and he was to receive the STAR treatment. The uncle was played by Red Buttons, a movie actor and comedian popular in the late 50's. He immediately "takes a shine" to Julie. At least those are the words they use in the quick synopsis. His taking a shine to her includes this dialogue when they are first introduced the Captain says he wants his Uncle to receive the red carpet treatment to which his Uncle Cyrus replies to Julie, "Will there be enough room on the carpet for both of us?" Julie replies, embarassed, "Mr. Foster!" to which he says, "Uncle Cyrus to you. Welcome to the family, and it's a very loving family!" He then grabs both her hands and pulls her to him to kiss her on the cheek. Later in the episode Julie delivers a fruit basket to Uncle Cyrus' cabin from Capt. Stubing. He asks her to stay and have a piece of fruit with him. She says she really shouldn't. He makes a pleading face, and she says "Alright, for a minute, sure." He asks would she like to see some pictures of his grandchildren. She replies she'd love to, and he says "So would I, but I don't have any," as he is leading her to the couch. He spins her quickly, and she lands on the couch. He kisses her hand. She replies, "You're so gallant." He then starts moving up her arm with the kisses. She has a look of panic on her face and asks what he is doing trying to pull away. 
Julie: Mr. Foster, PLEASE!
Uncle Cyrus: You don't have to beg, it's my pleasure.
(LAUGH TRACK)
Julie: What are you doing?
Uncle Cyrus: In my day, dear, this was known as bussing.
Julie: In my day it's called forced bussing!
(LAUGH TRACK)
He dives for her on the couch. She slips out just in time.
Uncle Cyrus: Cute! I love a woman who combines humor with passion.(he grabs her wrist)
Julie: PASSION?!?(with her free hand she grabs an apple from the fruit basket) Here! Eat an apple.
Uncle Cyrus: Forget the apple, Eve! I'm already tempted. (Julie runs for the door and escapes as he is on her heels as she slams the door.)
(LAUGH TRACK)
Julie tells Doc as he is passing in the hall just after her escape that Uncle Cyrus just made a pass at her and asks him could he believe that. He replies with the advice that she shouldn't put herself down. She's an attractive girl. 
(LAUGH TRACK)

It gets worse!

Julie, Gopher and Doc are in the Lobby. Capt. Stubing comes over to thank them for spending so much time with his Uncle. The camera pulls a shot of Julie looking "uncomfortable."
Gopher: Never seen an old guy with so much pep. He sure is in great shape.
Capt. Stubing: Well, he always took good care of his body.
Doc: (looking toward Julie) Now he's trying to take care of yours.
(Julie scowls)
(LAUGH TRACK)
Unlce Cyrus comes over to the group and makes a few jokes about the ship then invites them all to his cabin for a party.
Capt. Stubing: How about you, Julie, you coming to the party?
She tries to beg off because she has a big day the next day. The Captain says he does too, but he wouldn't miss one of Cy's parties and tells her he will see her at 9 and walks away.
Doc: Come on, Julie, so the old man got a little impulsive this afternoon. He's probably starved for affection.
Julie: Well, I'm not going to be part of his diet.
(LAUGH TRACK)
Gopher: Don't worry! We're all going to be there. If Cyrus Foster as much as puckers his lips, we'll form a circle around you.
Doc: Besides, why hurt an old man's feelings? 
Gopher: Yeah.
Julie: Ok, I'll go.
Doc: That a girl, but go easy on the lip gloss. You don't want to turn the old man on.
(LAUGH TRACK)

No, it gets worse still.

Julie shows up for the "party" Uncle Cyrus opens the door welcoming her. No one else is there. She asks where everyone is, and he says they will be arriving in a minute and asks her to have a drink. She has obviously arrived after nine hoping others would be there. She asks Cyrus if he's sure the others are coming. He responds that they had better be as he just opened a fresh can of peanuts on the night stand. Julie walks over to get a peanut and Cyrus pushes her on the bed and is on top of her.
Julie: What on earth! You're old enough to be my grandfather!
Uncle Cyrus:Forget Sun City! This is Fun City!
(LAUGH TRACK)
He tries to kiss her. She pushes him off and to the floor.
Julie: STOP IT!
She gets up and tries to leave. He grabs her foot and she falls to the floor on all fours, crawling to the door. 
Julie: (Through clenched teeth) Mr. Foster!
Uncle Cyrus: (Not letting go of her foot) You can call me Cyrus.
Julie: (Exasperated) What are you doing?
Uncle Cyrus: I'm proposing.
Julie: Behave yourself and let go of me! (Struggling to free her foot from his grasp)
(LAUGH TRACK)
Uncle Cyrus: I like your spunk, girl. You and I could make beautiful music together.
(LAUGH TRACK)
Julie:(defeated) Get yourself a tape deck.
(LAUGH TRACK)
Uncle Cyrus: (still holding her foot) Oh, Julie, don't play so hard to get. I'm really a nice guy once you get to know me. I grow on people.
Julie: (struggling and crawling, trying to break free) Plant yourself on somebody else! (She breaks free and stands. Heads for the door. He is right behind her. She turns him to the window.) Mr. Foster look out there. What on earth is that couple doing out there?
Uncle Cyrus: (Taking a step toward the window) What couple?
She darts out the door into the hall while he is distracted. He opens the door immediately.
Uncle Cyrus: (to Julie as she is running down the hall) Is it something I said?
(LAUGH TRACK)

Julie then goes to the other crew members who are playing cards together in one of their cabins and yells at them for not being at the party asking how they could leave her "all alone with that old lecher." She finds out that Cyrus called all of them to cancel the party but her insuring they would be alone in his cabin. Julie calls it a sneaky, deceitful, devious trick. 
Gopher:(to Doc) Sounds like your technique, Doc. (The 3 men laugh)
(LAUGH TRACK)
Julie: You guys, it's not funny!
They advise her to talk to the Captain and tell him that his uncle is a "dirty old man who can't keep his hands to himself." She responds with how that would be impossible as the Captain idolizes his uncle, and she'll just try to stay away from Cyrus. She leaves the cabin and Cyrus is in the hall and asks her if she wants to go skinny dipping in the pool. She runs the other way.
(LAUGH TRACK)
She tries to talk to Capt. Stubing. He tells Julie that Uncle Cyrus has taken quite a shine to her and wants to have cocktails and dinner. Julie replies it's more than a shine. Capt. Stubing says he'll take that as a "yes" to the invitation. Uncle Cyrus appears and the Capt. tells him that he has a date with Julie. Cyrus says he will pick her up at her cabin and kisses her hand. Capt. Stubing remarks that Cyrus is always a gentleman. Julie nods uncomfortably. She tells her male crew mates (Gopher, Doc and Isaac (played by Ted Lange) about her dilemma and asks what she should do? 
Isaac: I suggest you wear a beautiful gown, some attractive jewelry, and track shoes! (The 3 men laugh)
(LAUGH TRACK)
Doc finally says that this is no laughing matter and someone should teach Cyrus a lesson. Julie says she wishes her Aunt Phoebe - a vice cop in Milwaukee - was their to teach him a lesson. The four cook up a scheme to have Gopher play Aunt Phoebe and rescue Julie. The evening comes, and of course everything doesn't go as planned and when Julie signals Gopher to save her, he isn't there. Uncle Cyrus chases Julie around the room and finally pins her against the bathroom door kissing her neck until "Aunt Phoebe" finally busts in reading Cyrus the riot act. Cyrus stammers that he can explain. It's just a casual dinner date. Julie tells him the date is off and says she's having dinner with her Aunt. She excuses herself to freshen up. As you may imagine, Cyrus then starts hitting on and advancing on "Aunt Phoebe." He pins "her" against the wall and kisses "her" on the cheek, knocking Gopher's wig off. Cyrus is appalled that he kissed Gopher and threatens to report both Julie and Gopher to the Captain. Gopher tells him to go ahead because he's sure the Captain would love to know what brought this whole situation. Uncle Cyrus then launches into a heartfelt speech (underscored by sappy music) about how he was married to his departed wife for 32 years and never strayed once. He doesn't know why he acts this way. He says that he is very lonely after losing the most important thing in his life, and he asks Julie to forgive him. She says she will, but he needs to change his ways. She agrees to STILL go to dinner if he behaves himself. He promises. As the episode winds down and the crew says Good-bye to the passengers, Uncle Cyrus comes to the crew to say his farewell. Julie tells Uncle Cyrus to take care of himself and calls him a cutie and gives him a peck on the cheek. He asks Julie one last question:
Uncle Cyrus:(pulling Julie away from the group) Have you got a younger sister?
(LAUGH TRACK)

If you're still reading, and I hope you are. I wanted you to see the way this situation was portrayed, for laughs! This episode aired in 1978. I don't remember if I saw this particular episode or not, but I never remember thinking any of these shows were "out of line" or "creepy" This was several scenes of a dirty old man trying to sexually assault a young girl and it's treated as comedy. No wonder women of my generation are afraid to speak up when men act inappropriately. We were raised on television that played those scenarios for laughs, and just in case you didn't think it was funny, they put in a laugh track to tell you it was. This is not the first show of that era that has this exact same take. Women fighting off men's unwanted advances was entertainment. I guess what the real lesson here is that watching it now, I do think it's creepy. It makes me uncomfortable, and I am outraged at the way it's portrayed. We've come a long way, baby!

Somewhere Safe to Fall

 

The last post I put out was fairly bleak. I am not a bleak person, very rarely anyway. After I posted and shared to Facebook, I got no response from my friends. I thought that odd, but it's happened before. I am sure I said something that upset the FB gods, and none of my friends saw it. I decided with everything that is going on right now, I needed to get off of social media. I have a very bad habit of letting that vortex of negative news suck me in, and it was really messing with me. I put out a quick status that said I would be leaving for a while. That status set off an outpouring of love and support. Yes, I logged on promising myself I would do nothing but read notifications from friends. It made me feel so much better. I'm still not back on Social Media, but I felt the collective virtual hug, and it made me think.

 Almost 2 years ago I moved further away from my office. I have about a 25 minute drive everyday. Well, I did before COVID. Now I work from home. At the same time, I was also going to the theater almost every night for rehearsals or performances, and I started to listen to books on tape. I've heard a lot of good ones, and as a little plug, it took me a long time before I would listen to a book on tape, but now, I love them, so give them a try. I listen while I am working at home, but then I was mostly listening on my commutes. Last summer I listened to Big Little Lies, by Liane Moriarty. I listened before I watched the series. I liked the way she wrote, and so I look out for her titles as they become available at the library. I just recently finished Truly, Madly, Guilty, by her. There is a quote in the book that really struck me, and I think it really applies to my current situation, everyone's really. "You can jump so much higher when you have somewhere safe to fall." I have jumped really high in my life. I have gone after almost everything I wanted to do, and most of the time I have been able to achieve my goals, but that isn't all on me. All through my life I have had somewhere safe to fall. I never felt like I would be ridiculed or gotten an "I told you so" if I failed. That somewhere safe was my family, my kids, and my friends. I kept jumping because they were there, that safety net. All of my friends and family were my virtual safety net the other day. I had the courage to jump into that honesty and say what I felt because they were my somewhere safe to fall. It gave me hope, and that's exactly what I needed. Thank you for letting me fall safely. Always know that I am here to be your net as well. Stay safe, and have hope!