A Little Message from Kroger

About a week ago I received a pack of coupons from Kroger. You know, the ones that they send you that are actually useful because they are tracking what you're buying using your loyalty card. Here's the thing. They were addressed to Ralph Moore but here at my address. Ralph Moore is my father, and today is the 10th Anniversary of his death. I know all kinds of things are stored in data bases, and things can get mixed up, and my father and I have shared the same address, but I have not lived at that address for 6 years. I have only lived at my present address for a year and a half. How did his name get attached to this address, and how did it get linked to my Kroger card? And right now you're thinking, "why all this tadoo about some coupons? Here's why. I don't think it was a computer glitch at all. I think it was my Daddy's way of letting me know he's still around, and he hasn't really left me totally alone. I've written about my dad before, but I'm not sure I've shared what I'll share today. My dad had a hard life growing up. He was the youngest of I think 7 brothers and sisters. His dad died when he was 3. They were dirt poor living in a tiny town in Georgia. He had one eye that was severely crossed, and he never had any surgery to correct it. As I'm sure you can imagine, that invited a lot of teasing. He dropped out of high school because of, what we would label bullying today, not because he was scared, but he didn't want to be involved in the fights anymore. He was smart as a whip, and I know, given the chance, he could have had every degree available. Life just never gave him the chance. I got the feeling from talking to him that no one was really in his corner rooting for him, encouraging him or even pushing him to his potential. For all of that background, he could have been nothing, but he wasn't. The first memories I have of my dad were of him working for NCR - National Cash Register - He repaired cash registers. He was on the cutting edge of technology as NCR sent him to school to learn about the way the "new" computerized cash registers would work. Consequently, he knew more about computers than anyone I knew. He could always figure it out. He had that kind of brain. That makes him sound analytical and cold, but he was anything but. He would cry at the littlest things that touched him. He was probably the biggest reason I have such a sensitive side. I joke all the time that I cry at a Hallmark commercial. The biggest thing I want the world to know about my dad was that he was always in my corner. He believed in me and everything I wanted to do. He always supported me from the time I was singing in the Cherub choir at age 3 to attending the numerous shows I was in until his health prevented him from doing so.  Until the day he died, he was trying to get me to send a tape of me singing, and then in later years, me and my girls singing together to someone because he just knew we would be famous. A good part of who I am is because of my dad. Through everything, good and bad, I knew he loved me ALWAYS! I miss him a lot, but I know he's around. He just used Kroger to remind me. LOVE YOU, DADDY!
Note: I started writing this on 11/16, the true anniversary.

Make Your Own Joy

I sat in church today, and the preacher said something that struck me. He talked about "waiting for your joy." Waiting for my joy...that concept of, "if I could just get this or that, I'd be happy." I fell into that trap and fell out or was pushed out, when at 34, I had nothing, less than nothing, well, materially speaking. When I was married appearances were a big deal. And for all of our "things" that we thought we needed to look good to everyone else, and we thought made us happy didn't hold our marriage together when it EXPLODED! Oh, we looked happy to everyone else, the perfect couple, the perfect family, and maybe we thought we were, but there was no joy! It took me being in a situation totally bereft of anything except 2 precious children and family and friends surrounding me to help me heal to realize that fact. I have lived single now for almost 20 years. Most of those years I have struggled financially. I haven't had a real vacation in 14 years, but God gives me joy every day! I may not always recognize it, or, worse yet, appreciate it, but my new life has been filled with real joy, the kind you make from what's provided. I titled this post Make Your Own Joy, but maybe it should be Recognize the Joy Given to You. Start looking for your joy. It's there, I promise!